- parallel story to 'Bittersweet Catastrophe', told from Yamato's POV.
.
.
.
[LIFELINES]
prologue
.
.
.
My chest is tight.
Breaths laboured, I groan when I feel her long strands of hair fall over my face. Trickling black ink, grazes against my cheeks. Her breath against my skin makes me shiver. Her kind, pained eyes are vivid as they muddle my thoughts. Her feverish lips cluster kisses down my collarbone. I recoil, but hold the back of her head against my heat. I straddle her and she lets out a broken cry. We tumble over the tangled sheets, bodies desperately harmonising against each other to make a complete, sounding melody.
I stir awake. My heart is pounding and tears are glazing my vision. I half expect myself to be in my old home, looking across my bed to see my emerald green school uniform. However, all I see is my bookshelves crowded with my library of CDs and records, positioned in its proper and immaculate order.
Turning on my side, I watch her clip back on her white, laced bra. Her hair isn't black, but cropped short and copper. She was not the girl in my mind. This woman's my pattern, my routine. We'd keep each other company; we'd warm each other's beds. She knew how to satisfy my thirsts; and I knew how to drown her in desire. We'd talk about nothing; we'd talk about everything.
That's how it's always been between us. A relationship driven by lust and not love. And I was fine with it. We both were.
She cranes her neck towards my direction, offering me a brisk smile. "You had a dream about her. It's been awhile since you have."
"Who?" I croak out, sitting up. I rub my eyes, but even though I vaguely remember the dream, I know who she is talking about. I take a stab at it and guess, "Kaori?"
"Yeah."
"Oh," I reply, softly.
I watch her as she lifts the maroon sweater over her head, smoothing it down and covering her body. When she's about to shimmy into the pair of leather black pants I had skinned off her last night, I reach over to bedside table and feel for my pack of cigarettes. Lighting one up, I lean against the bed head, inhaling and deeply exhaling.
She falters by the door before she leaves. "We-I-I'm sorry. Yamato, this will probably be the last time."
"Jun...I know," I say, trying to act fine about it. I'm lying and we both know it. I force out a dry chuckle, "Since when have we been serious together anyway?"
I had immediately noticed when we slept together. Jun had wanted to talk, and I had denied her that. I persuaded her into bed and screw her instead. I had felt the hesitation in her movements, the confusion, but at the same time, the familiar comfort. She had wanted to stop, but her body was used to me and I was in a cruel mood. I knew her weak spots, the places that made her beg for more, and what made her giggle and laugh whenever we'd get into a heated frenzy.
"We're still friends though, right?" Her shoulders are drooping as she gazes at me.
Of course we'll be. However, it won't be the sameā¦
I nod anyway, taking another puff.
You could say this is like a break-up, but it really isn't.
Perhaps I had fallen for Jun at some point during our deal, but even I knew it wasn't possible for something to ever bud between us. We had negotiated with each other, and I knew she had broken the agreement. She had found someone.
"Is it because you're finally coming out of the closet, or because you've fallen in love?" I plainly ask her.
"Both."
"Good," I comment.
She pauses, raising an eyebrow at me. "How did you know?"
''By now you would have either fallen for me or rattled on about commitment," I tell her. "No girl wants to keep a pattern like this going."
"I'm no ordinary girl."
I state, smirking, "That's because you're bi."
"A lesbian now," Jun corrects me, matter-of-factly.
It's not that I'm bitter about it. I'm dejected that it's over, but I wasn't going to get angry about it because I knew that, at some point, this was bound to happen. It had taken me some time, but I had eventually pieced together Jun's orientation and that this separation would be inevitable.
However, I didn't think it would be this soon.
"My penis must have converted you. I curse it to hell." I grumble, pointing at the lump under the sheets.
Jun scoffs and rolls her eyes at me, "Well, aren't you the romantic."
"Honey, you know I'm great." I casually shrug.
I look back up at her to watch her peel into laughter. I find myself laughing along with her.
When the laughter subsides, I say, "Introduce me to her. I'd like to see the woman who triumphed over me."
"Sure Yama. I'll let her know." Jun says.
I grumble, "And now I need to find your replacement."
Jun snorts back, "I'm sure any woman would be proud to sacrifice themselves to you."
"It won't be the same," I admit.
Although I know she's right about finding another woman to keep me company, they wouldn't be able to replace Jun's sense of humour. We connected. We got along well and she knew things about me that I didn't even know. Sometimes I even felt closer to her than my best friend, Taichi.
She trails back towards the bed and plants a parting kiss on my forehead. "I hope you find what you're looking for too. I hope you find your special somebody, Yamato."
Her last line stays with me as she leaves my apartment. I gaze up at the white ceiling, my back sliding down onto the mattress. I stub the cigarette and let out a deep sigh.
Me? Find my own special somebody?
The thought seems formidable and unreachable. Why would I want that? Why put myself through the drama of commitment?
Besides, I have everything I want.
My dream of being a successful musician had come true. People who hadn't believed in me had to swallow back their words when they saw my face in the billboards and music, sound their speakers. I had worked hard to achieve this. They didn't think I'd make it this far.
But I had.
So, tell me, why would I want another person in my life? I already vowed to myself that I would not let this happen; to never give my heart to a woman. Why would I be a fool and trade this life that I have, for a mere somebody?
Despite everything I've said, I have tried it before. I had tossed everything aside for a person...only to watch it self destruct and fail. She had thrown me away.
And I won't let this happen again.
Ever.
.
.
(a/n) Oh no. Guess what happened? This did...and it wasn't meant to happen! 4ams are bad.
This may be quite angsty and darker compared to Sora's POV. I felt like I needed to write from Yamato's POV and tell his story, despite this fanfic being parallel to Bittersweet Catastrophe.
I'll focus more on this story once Bittersweet Catastrophe is completed.
