Disclaimer: Don't own, wish I did. Way OOC and I like it that way.
It's an addiction. One of many I have, such as good wine, books, art, classical music, and her. It's sad really. I have to come here every night just to see what will never become. The Mirror of Erised: an addiction that only exists because of her. It shows what my heart desires most, and every time I look into it I see the two of us together. So every night I come, and every night it is the same. I pine (if Severus Snape, the great git of the dungeons can even do such a thing) for a future that is unattainable, and for a woman who I long for, but can never have. It all comes back to her. She is my obsession, my Achilles' Heel. If she were not here, I would not be in such a position, and yet would my life be worth living without her? I see her at every staff meeting and every summer when everyone else goes to their homes, we stay. She does not wish to go to the home she shared with her late parents, and I have no where I'd rather be than near her.
She is not like the other women I have met. Most of them fear me, and back away, she challenges me. She is not intimidated by me, and hasn't been since she was in her Sixth year. Now she's returned as a teacher. Defense against the Dark Arts, it would figure that she would get the position I have wanted for years, and that she would be the one who would remain in that position for more than a year. She would be the one to break the spell. Is there anything she can't do? She's even done something that everyone thought was impossible. She's made this foolish former death eater fall in love, and she doesn't even know of her triumph, and she never will.
"Severus, my boy. This isn't good for you. No one should waste his or her life staring at an image the way you do. It's not healthy."
"Albus, have I ever done what is best for me?"
The question hangs in the air as the headmaster surveys me critically.
"This is worse than harming your body, this is contorting your soul."
"I have no soul. I sold it to the devil the day I took the mark. I have nothing but this. Would you begrudge me the only moments of happiness I allow myself?"
"Severus, go to her."
"I'm not good enough for anyone, let alone Hermione." Her name floats from my lips like a blessing, but to my poor deformed heart it is a curse.
"We are never good enough for the women we love. It's why they were made to have sympathy for us. If you let your presumption that she cannot love you rule your life, then she won't because she'll never know you."
"I am better left with my thoughts and fantasies of a life we could have, than to have any hope destroyed with a single word."
HGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSSHGSS
I watched him leave, my confusion overwhelming me.
"Me?"
The Headmaster turned to me with a nod.
"Yes, Hermione."
"But he's never given any indication in the past years that he feels anything other than the cold aloofness he shows everyone. Why me? It's not even logical."
"Love as anything but logical. You're stuck with a very difficult job now, Ms. Granger."
"What's that?"
"Showing him the truth."
I watched the Headmaster leave, and felt a bit frustrated. I'm supposedly the brightest witch of my age, and yet I have no clue how to show Severus how I feel. I walked to the Mirror of Erised and glanced at the image that swirled in its crystalline depths. Severus and I, together, the same thing it has showed me for years. No hint of how to get there is reflected in the glass.
I guess some answers can't be found in books or in mirrors. Damn.
A/N: I think that I'm going to end it here, unless you guys want me to continue. Anyway, reviews are greatly appreciated.
--American Punk--
