Cherry Blossom: Hellooo minna!
Angry Mob: Grrrrrrr….
Melpomene: Back off muchachas!! I know karate!
Angry Mob: RAWR!!!
Melpomene: Er…you deal with them, Cher.
Cherry Blossom: Okay! Here's the deal! You may have noticed that I've been absent from the FF.net community for some time now.
Duo: You also haven't written anything in months.
Cherry Blossom: …I believe that's what I was getting at.
Duo: Sorry. Go ahead.
Cherry Blossom: *ahem* I have determined that this is due mostly to an illness I like to call TMA syndrome.
Matteo: In layman's terms, Too Much Angst Syndrome.
Cherry Blossom: Right. So in order to combat that, here's something we can all laugh about.
Duo: And it isn't Heero's fashion sense!
Heero: ::glares:: Omeo o—
Melpomene: Korosu. Yes, we know. It's been done. Can we move on now?
Heero: Grrr…
Cherry Blossom: Anyway, I now present to you Making Heero Human: Behind the Scenes!!
Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing I would have enough money to buy a decent word processor. Since I am presently typing this on the word processor from HELL this scenario is very improbable.
Warnings: Shounen ai!! Shounen ai shounen ai shounen ai shounen ai shounen aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!! Have I made it clear to you people yet? MALE/MALE RELATIONSHIPS!!!! HOMOSEXUALS!!!! Got it? Good. So don't flame me because of it.
Making Heero Human: Behind the Scenes
Chapter One
Safehouse Scene –Take 1
Duo: This is it? This place is a dump!
Wufei: Says the guy that lived on L2 for most of his life…
Director: CUT! That is NOT your line Wufei.
Wufei: Sorry.
Duo: No he's not.
*******
Safehouse Scene -Take 2
Duo: This is it?
Quatre: ::previously staring at Trowa:: Wha—huh? No…yes…I'm sorry, what was the question?
Director: CUT!
Wufei: Take a picture, it lasts longer.
Duo: ::collapses into giggles::
*******
Safehouse Scene – Take 3
Duo: This is it? ::looking up at the house, frowning::
Quatre: ::setting his bag down:: It's not that bad, Duo. At least this place has electricity…I think."
Trowa: ::tries to pick up Quatre's bag:: Ungh! What the hell have you got in here, Cat? Rocks?
Quatre: ::blushes:: Just some basic necessities.
Trowa: Like what?
Quatre: ::whispers in Trowa's ear::
Trowa: ::blushes:: ….oh.
Director: CUT! Look would you just say the lines?
Quatre: Sorry.
Director: And YOU— ::points at Duo:: STOP LAUGHING.
Duo: *snort* Yes…hehehe…sir.
*******
Safehouse Scene – Take 4
Duo: ::laughing to hard to say the line::
Director: CUT CUT!!!! This is hopeless! Everybody take five!
Duo: ::still laughing::
Trowa: It wasn't that funny.
*******
Bedroom Scene – Take 5
Wufei: Hey! There's only 3 rooms up here!
Quatre: I guess some of us will have to share. ::smiles at Trowa seductively::
Trowa: ::leers back::
Duo: Would you two give it a rest already.
Quatre: You're just jealous 'cause you aren't getting any.
Duo: I'll have you know that me and Hee-chan have a very fulfilling sex life! Why, just last night we—
Heero: ::mortified:: DUO!
Director: …why me? CUT!
*******
Bedroom Scene – Take 6
Duo: I choose this room!
Heero: Fine.
Duo: Uh…you realize that this is a single bed, don't you Heero?
Heero: Yes. Is there a problem?
Duo: No siree! ::jumps on top of the boy::
Heero: Mmmph!
Director: God, can you not control yourself for ten minutes? CUT!
*******
Bedroom Scene – Take 7
Duo: Uh…you realize that this is a single bed, don't you Heero?
Heero: Yes. Is there a problem?
Duo: ::blushes:: Well…that means we'll have to share…
Heero: That is not necessary. I will sleep in the chair.
Duo: You can't sleep in the chair!
Heero: Why?
Duo: Because then we won't be able to have sex—uh…oops? Sorry, man.
Director: ::slowly pulling out his hair::
*******
Bedroom Scene – Take 8
Duo: Uh…you realize that this is a single bed, don't you Heero?
Heero: Yes. Is there a problem?
Duo: ::blushes:: Well…that means we'll have to share…
Heero: That is not necessary. I will sleep in the chair.
Duo: You can't sleep in the chair!
Heero: Why?
Duo: Well…er…because….because it will be cold and you'll catch pneumonia and then you won't be any use to us on our mission!
Heero: ::pause::
Duo: ::stare::
Heero: ::blinks::
Duo: ::stare::
Heero: …I forgot my line.
Director: AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
*******
Chapter Two
Closet Scene – Take 1
Heero: ::unpacking::
Duo: Hey Heero, I'm just about done! What about you…uh…Heero?
Heero: ::pulling another dress from his bag and hanging it on a hanger:: Yes?
Duo: ….you actually wear those?
Heero: Why? Do you think this skirt makes me look fat?
Director: I'm not even gonna ask…
*******
Closet Scene – Take 2
Duo: Uh…Heero?
Heero: ::pauses in sliding yet another green tank-top onto a hanger to glare at
Duo:: What?
Duo: ……I forget.
Director: CUT! Duo, your line is "what do you wear in the winter" okay? Let's try it again! And….action!
*******
Closet Scene – Take 3
Duo: Uh…Heero?
Heero: What?
Duo: Who does your hair in the winter?
Heero: Salon Selectives. Why?
Duo: You could use a touch-up on the highlights.
Director: CUT DAMMIT!!
Duo: Sorry.
Director: I'm not talking to you anymore.
*******
Closet Scene – Take 4
Duo: Uh…Heero?
Heero: What?
Duo: What do you….
Director: ::mouthing:: 'wear in the winter'
Duo: ::squints:: wear…in the…winter?
Director: ::beams::
Heero: Absolutely nothing.
Duo: Really? Can I see?
Director: OUT OF MY SIGHT!! BOTH OF YOU!!
Duo: …does this mean I can take a cappuccino break?
Director: OUT!!!!
*******
a while later
Heero: ::wanders into the room:: Duo? We're supposed to be on the set soon for the dinner scene…
::noises come from the closet::
Heero: ::approaches cautiously:: Duo? ::opens the door:: Is that you—AHH!
Duo: ::pulls him into the closet by his tank top:: Hello lover. ::grins::
Heero: Duo! What are you doing in this closet?
Duo: The question you should be asking…is what are we doing in this closet. ::pulls Heero closer::
Heero: What do you….oh…
Duo: Mmmm.
*******
five minutes later
Wufei: ::stalks into the room:: Kisama! Why was I picked to go search for Yuy and Maxwell?! The last living member of the Dragon Clan should not be playing errand boy. It is a grand injustice and I—
::noises from the closet::
Wufei: What the… ::slowly swings the door open:: Urk! ::slams it shut and runs away, trying to stop the blood that is dripping out of his nose::
Heero: ::raises his head from Duo's lap:: Did you hear something?
Duo: Nope. Now keep going, God dammit, or I won't spank you later.
Heero: Yessir!
*******
three minutes later in Quatre's dressing room
Wufei: ::bursts through the door, two wads of tissue stuffed up his nose:: Dishonder! I hab neber seen such disgraceful acts in by endire life—ACK! ::faints::
Trowa: ::raises his head from Quatre's lap:: What's wrong with him?
Quatre: Who cares…keep going…
Trowa: Yes, love.
Wufei: X . x …..
*******
Chapter 3
Laptop Scene – Take 1
Heero: ::sits staring at the screen of his laptop. He bites his lip and moves his hand over the mouse:: Almost…careful now… ::clicks the mouse::
The tiny gray blocks on the screen suddenly disappear and the yellow smiley face at the top displays two X's where eyes should have been.
Heero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! ::bangs his head against the desk::
Duo: Lose at Minesweeper again?
Heero: Shut up.
*******
Laptop Scene – Take 2
Heero: ::typing on his laptop:: ……
*click…clickety-click…click….click…*
Computer: You've got mail!
Heero: Hn. ::clicks to open it::
Computer: ::the screen turns blue::
Three things are certain:
death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
Heero: ::growls:: Duo…
Duo: ::snickers::
*******
Laptop Scene – Take 3
Heero: ::typing on his laptop:: ……
*click…clickety-click…click….click…*
Computer: You've got mail!
Heero: Hn. ::clicks to open it::
Computer: ::the screen turns blue::
ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
Heero: Dammit, Duo!
Duo: ::hiding in the closet:: Heeheehee…
*******
Laptop Scene – Take 4Computer: ::the screen turns blue::
Having been erased,
the document you're seeking
must now be retyped.
Heero: When I get my hands on you Duo…..OMEO O KOROSU!!
*******
Laptop Scene – Take 5Computer: ::the screen turns blue::
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
Heero: ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! ::shoots the laptop::
*******
outside in the hangerDuo: ::in Deathscythe:: Heh heh…I wish I could see Yuy's face when he finds out I tampered with his laptop again. But I have a feeling that he'd shoot me if I showed up about now. I'll just stay here until Heero's calmed down a bit, 'kay ol' buddy? You'd never let me down, would ya Deathscythe? That's a pal. ::types into the controls::
Counsel: ::the screen turns blue::
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Duo: What the….HEEEEEEEROOOOOOOO!!!!
Heero: ::snickers outside the hanger door::
*******
To Be Continued…
Cherry Blossom: I feel much better now.
Angry Mob: WE WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!
Cherry Blossom: ::winces:: Uh…working on it? Pinky swear?
Angry Mob: ARRRRRRRGH!!! ::chase after Cherry Blossom::
Duo: Think we should help her out?
Heero: Nah. Let's go get a milkshake.
Duo: You buying?
Heero: Cheapskate.
Duo: Hey, I'm broke, that's all!
Heero: You spent all your money at the arcade again?
Duo: …yeah well…I really needed to break that score…
Heero: Baka.
Matteo: Review!
Melpomene: Send us bloopers!
Matteo: …uh…right! Bye!
Cherry Blossom: ::runs by::
Angry Mob: ARRRRRRRRGH!!!
