Got this sad little idea while watching an amazing fanvid I got introduced to at the Sherlock Seattle 2015 Closing Ceremony, Narrow It Down (youtube title: 'Sherlock BBC || Narrow It Down'). I've been listening to/watching this damn thing on repeat for about four days now.
Cross-posted from AO3 on time.
Sherlock stared down uncomprehendingly at the bomb, desperately trying to know things he'd never learned as John cursed from the other side of the hateful thing. Apologies were spewing from his lips and, as much as he hated repeating himself, he couldn't stop speaking, couldn't stop begging for forgiveness. His eyes felt wet and his chest felt empty at the thought that John would not only die, but that he would die because of Sherlock's own stupidity. He wasn't sure if John hating him when it happened made it better or worse.
He was being tugged from his knees to his feet suddenly, the small, hard body in front of him pressing him to the carriage's doors and keeping him upright.
"I won't let us go like this," John was muttering, head shaking against Sherlock's chest. "If we're dying, I want you to know-" The ex-soldier surged onto his tiptoes to kiss the consulting detective, surprising his tears into stopping.
It was everything he'd ever dreamed it would be: hard and demanding at the same time the hands cupping his face made it soft and loving. With a desperate sob into John's mouth, Sherlock crumpled into the man he loved and the first, last, and only kiss he would ever receive.
"I love you," he whispered in the moments he was supposed to drawing in breaths. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry I left you. I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me. Please…"
Even as he was gasping for forgiveness, John was providing it in equally desperate whispers. "I know. I know and I'm sorry too. I'm love you and I forg-"
The heat came almost before the noise, blooming and booming equally through the small cabin. Their skin cracked and peeled and melted, burning away their nerve endings before the pain could register. Their kiss became eternal as their lips fused together, closely followed by their bodies to the bones. When Mycroft found them later, he would find the remains of his brother and the only person Sherlock had ever loved entwined in one another's embrace for all time.
"SHERLOCK!"
The detective's mind snapped from its fantasy and he blinked, struggling to keep himself under control. The carriage hadn't exploded. John was still looking at him like he expected him to have the solution. He did, but he didn't want his doctor to know yet. He wanted to keep his ploy going a slight bit longer, to see if his fantasy would become reality. But it didn't: his John was too loyal to the woman he had promised himself to and remained firmly on the other side of the bomb.
John forgave him and complimented him, but he never confessed the words that Sherlock most wanted to hear. The consulting detective confessed his ruse from within hysterical laughter to hide the fact that he'd burst into tears.
FIN
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