It hurts to breathe.
My throat is constricting, chest pressed down by an unseen force sucking the life from my lungs. I smile at him, the corners of my lips pulling up as I struggle to inhale and exhale. He looks at me and grins back. I am suffocating, but I've gotten good at this over time. The charade.
"It's a nice day, isn't it?" He asks. I clear my throat, a ragged whining noise escaping me. He looks concerned. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all." I gasp out, sounding normal enough to clear his suspicion. I'm used to this kind of pain. In fact, I've never had a day without it. "Weather's great."
He brushes a lock of my hair back from my face, his eyes warm with mirth and playful as a child's game. He has become rough in most ways. His beard scratches me when we kiss, and whenever our lips connect I wonder how I manage to survive. It's always good if I manage through a kiss without becoming short of breath, although he always makes me breathless. It's different to me.
"Yeah." He says, and he leans in to kiss me on the cheek before taking my hand into his. He is kind, I guess, and his hand is much bigger than mine. It's not that he is overtly huge, although his frame is sturdy and strong. I am just skinny. He says slim. I say thin. It's just the truth.
"I'll go inside. The sun's a bit strong today." I shield my eyes from the glare. It's already making me faint, but I daren't say anything.
"Okay." He says as I get up and shuffle to the door. "Okay… are you okay?"
"Yes." I say and I go inside. It's the truth. This is my 'okay'. I slam the door shut and press up against the wood, hand over my mouth. It's the same one that he held just now, and my skin is still tingling with the thought.
It hurts to be with him, because unlike the ache and the sharp pain in my lungs, he won't be with me until the end of my forever. At the very least, I can see him and I can breathe him in. He is my air, and he's only playing a game.
