"Why do I always get myself into these situations?" Kerry Nowicki mumbled to herself.
She was waiting in a movie theater line along with a dozen other people and her little brother, Ian, to buy tickets for the newest Disney cartoon that always seemed to sell out during the weekends. Kerry was only spending four days at the nearby University, Thursday being her one day off, and she had been wanting to take Ian out somewhere to spend some time with him. Although Ian was missing a day at school, Kerry had pleaded, almost but not entirely, with her father to get him to let Ian spend the day with her. Mr. Nowicki had at first been a little resistent but in the end had given in. Ian, for once, was waiting patiently by her side, although he kept swinging his arms around him.
Ian had heard her little comment and giggled, making Kerry smile a little. She loved these little moments with Ian when everything else in the world seemed to just melt away, leaving only Kerry and Ian and the sister-brother bond of love they shared. Kerry knew that no matter how angry she was at Ian, she would always treat him like the loved baby brother he was to her. She knew at times she spoiled him too much, and once it had almost cost her her life...
"Stop it," Kerry warned herself, "You don't need to think of that with Ian here."
But it was too late. It seemed to happen at the oddest of moments when she would never have thought about it if it wasn't for her wild imagination. Every tiny detail of that weekend would flash in her mind in too vivid pictures. Kerry couldn't function properly during these moments. She couldn't move, and her heart seemed to stop and then pick back up in a rapid pace too quickly that made Kerry shiver. She gulped down air, trying to regain control and calm herself before Ian could realize something was wrong. Kerry found the last bit of strength left in her trembling legs and she was able to walk to the next open spot in line. When it was her turn to pay, she turned a weak smile in the general direction of the employee and handed over a twenty, recieved her change and their tickets, then headed towards the consession stands.
"Let's get some chocolate!" Ian exclaimed enthusiastically, completely oblivious to the fact that his sister was shaking.
"If I get you anything with sugar, you'll never go to sleep tonight." She stated the obvious, taking a deep breath. Ian just grinned at her mischeviously, as though those were his exact thoughts. Kerry groaned, rolled her eyes and reached out to tenderly but purposely ruffle his hair.
"Hey!" Ian yelled and jumped away, just out of her reach. The people around them began to stare as though they were making too much noise and Kerry smiled apologetically.
Once they reached the stand, Ian started to look impatient. He started tapping his foot and sighed. Kerry raised her eyebrows at him and Ian's rhythm died down until he stopped completely, When they had finally gotten their popcorn and drinks (and Ian had gotten his chocolate) they made their way to the dark theater to wait for the movie to start. They sat down in about the middle row and Ian immediatley reached for the popcorn and candy.
"You'll be done with both of those in about ten minutes, I promise you." Kerry rolled her eyes at her little brother. Ian again just gave her that cute little innocent smile that always made her heart turn over. What a soft shell I am turning out to be.
Earlier, Kerry had taken Ian to the park for a quick stroll, watching the changing red and gold leaves fall to ground in the cool autumn air. Then, Kerry took Ian to the local toy store, which was definately not Kerry's idea of fun but Ian ran up and down every aisle, trying to grab everything that he saw that was so "cool" in sight and ran back to Kerry with his arms so full of toys and electronics that the manager walked over. He didn't say anything, for which Kerry was grateful. This man didn't seem the type that would take any nonsence and Kerry wondered why someone would hire a man who looked like a professional wrestler who could probably rip an arm off without even really trying to.
Kerry helped Ian put some of the toys away, telling him tht he could get only two tops. He took at least thirty minutes trying to figure out what he wanted, but he ended up geting a new Gameboy game and the action figure that the game was based on. The manager didn't appear again but at one time, Kerry felt like she was being studied. She very calmly turned in the direction that the stare was coming from but no one was there.
"You're so paranoid." Kerry thought, disgusted with herself. She was so tired of being afraid of dark corners and unknown shadows, thinking someone was going to grab her and take her away from her family again.
When at times like this one, when she was so afraid that someone was stalking her (and sometimes even in broad daylight), she thought about the one man (more or less) who had changed her life forvever. The one who had made her stronger and yet weaker at the same time. He spent that weekend with her, lying to her, caring only for his own survival, making her a promise he didn't intend to keep, to protect her family and Kerry had almost betrayed him.
Now Kerry lived each day afraid to even look over her shoulder, terrified of what she might see. She would lie awake at night, wishing she had the strength to try to move on, to forget. But even if she could give up, the dreams that haunted her every night would never let her end it. When she thought of him, she knew nothing had changed, except perhaps her new frustration with him. It had been two years since she had last seen Michel, and she knew that he would haunt her mind and heart until she was dead.
