It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. And a Bugatti veyron. And a Porsche. And a very big heated swimming pool. And a big posh house with several bedrooms, a good few big bathrooms, and a couple of world record breaking size living rooms. And quite a few acres of land. And a private jet. And a butler. And a cleaner (well, maybe a few, considering the size of the house…). And a gardener. And a cook. And a personal masseuse. And a luxury barge. And an expensive holiday home in Italy or Spain, or both. And a Jacuzzi bath. And a cinema-sized HD plasma screen TV. And a helicopter. And a lot of alcohol. And a pool table. And a bit more money to buy yet another Ferrari and a nice new garage to put it in. So I don't know who (Mrs Bennet…) would want their daughters to marry any of those single rich men… And I seriously don't know who (in their right mind) would want to marry any of them… (Jane and Lizzy…)

And anyway, who said that, just because it is a truth universally known, the men themselves actually want wives? I mean, come on, a wife would just wreak havoc in a single rich man's dream lifestyle. She would want to go shopping, and she would want chocolate, and she would shout at her husband when he bought one two many Ferraris, among, of course, many other things… So that's just why Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy are sat there right now – yes, right there, right now – plotting against their wives… Oh, and that's the cue for Jane and Lizzy to start running like hell before Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley come home with bombs… Not that they'd want to stay anyway, with husbands like them