Pass the Point of No Return
Christine
Why me? Staring blankly in front of me, my mind keeps asking, why me?
The disaster below the opera populaire was only a week ago, yet it seems ages away. I had thought the punjab lasso would be the end of my life, a proper way to end my wretched relationship with the opera ghost and my twisted life, but I was wrong. My disaster was not ending, it was only beginning.
A week ago, I had agreed to be the devil's bride for the sake of Raoul's life. Luring me with his angelic voice, I exchanged vows with him in the presence of God. Though why God had allowed such thing to happen is beyond my belief. There is no going back now, I remember he kept whispering into my ear, his icy fingers fondling the back of my neck, there is no going back now. But why am I chosen? With his voice, he can easily capture the soul of any woman, making them drown into a darkness deep as hell, drown into his darkness. Being the master of fraud and murder, that shouldn't prove to be hard. Yet he chose me to be the victim, the prey of his desire.
We moved into a house distant from normal neighborhood right after the marriage. Of course, that was after he had killed the unfortunate priest who had been freak out by the groom's appearance. He apparently had it all arranged beforehand. I was surprised to find the feeling of indifference wash over me when I stared at the priest's dead body. Moments ago he was looking at me lovingly, giving me blessings in the name of God. And here he was, lying breathlessly on the floor of the inhabitant of God, and his God never bothered to show up. I could hear my already shattered faith collapse and break into pieces. 'Come, my dear, we'd better get going. Our carriage is waiting.' The ruthless yet beautiful voice of the killer took hold of my mind and slavishly I followed him out without a sound of protest, leaving behind the dead body of a once living man. I know I'm not innocent and clean anymore. Willing or not, my hands are stained with the blood of a noble man.
The memory of this morning rushes in, stopping my train of self-blaming thought. The morning sun was pouring in through the windowsill, suggesting it was dawn, promising to be a good day. I laughed at the thought of 'good day', I can't even go out to enjoy the sun showering on my body, what kind of good day was that? That was when I heard his door crack open, his faint steps leading to my room. Two days ago I would be alarmed and scared, frantically blocking everything on my door to keep it closed, to keep him away from me. But I was not in the mood of doing so today. My mind was numb and I was tired of the daily show of his music drawing me out despite all the obstacles I had earlier set myself. He knocked on my door, gentlemanly asking, 'Christine, may I come in?' Without even waiting to hear my never uttered reply, he just turned the doorknob and walked in. How I hate his pretension of politeness!
He moved to stand in front of me, his black cloak shadowing me, confining me in his world of never-ending darkness. But, my mind reflected slowly, why was he wearing a cloak? He's certainly not likely to walk out into sunlight! 'Christine, will you grant me a favor?' No, never! My mind screams while my body nodded and replied 'sure'. He was using his angelic voice to manipulate me again! He smiled happily, reminding me of a puppy eager to impress its owner, only he is the most dangerous type. 'Wonderful! Well, I'm thinking about taking a little walk with you outside. You know, today's Sunday, no one will be out in the street spying. Besides, don't you want to enjoy daylight?' Oh, that was astonishing! I had thought the last thing I would experience is fresh air and sunshine, but now it seems so easy to possess! My eyes brightened up at the thought of being alive once more. However, there was a price, a sacrifice that must be made. For the first time since his entering, I cast my eyes on my so-called husband. Even in this sunlight, he still looked like a living corpse. It was hard to forget his announcements of keeping me company and taking a stroll on Sunday when he lost his sanity, but I had thought that would never turn into reality. Yet there I was, facing the proposal. In my subconsciousness I somehow knew that once I agreed, the barrier I had held between us would collapse, and I could no longer deny the truth.
What should I do? What should I choose? My mind raced, my hands twisted together, showing my nervousness right before his intent gaze. He suddenly grasped my hand and begged, 'Please, please Christine, do a favor for your husband, to poor poor Erik. He just wished to feel like a normal man, taking a walk with his beloved wife. Please don't refuse him, I know you're kind enough not to refuse him.' Using all my effort, I managed to free my hand from his tight grasp. Oh, how could I refuse his desperate plea? How could I refuse my husband even though we both knew he didn't deserve my kindness? After some time, I nodded with my eyes closed, trying hard to ignore the spark of delight shining in his eyes.
When I stood up to change, I fully realized that now I'm truly the devil's wife.
Just like he said, there is no going back now.
