A/N. Hey everyone. This is my first FF fiction so please don't be too hard on me. Just a few things before we go. English is not my first language so apologize if there are any errors.
Imporant to know. Serena, Eric an Chuck are siblings; Bart and Lily have been married for about 20 years. Blair doesn't know any of them exept Bart who is her godfather. She was raise in Europe.
Nate is dead. Bair is new in the UES. Well this is a Chair FF but we'll meet Chuck later maybe in chapter 3 or 4.
Thanks and let me know what you think! If i should keep going or not. I'm actually writing chapter 2 but i won't going on if people aren't interessed.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER 1
« Blair… sweetie are you ok ? »
Bart looked at her with desperation in his eyes. As her godfather ,he should have been there for her the all time but after everything that happen in the past few years in his own family, he couldn't …he didn't even know what to say or what to do…he promised her father he'll always be there for her and will take care of her whatever happen…and looking at her numb body and her blanked face he knew he had failed…
She was wearing black jeans , a large sweater and her hair were in a ponytail…she had no makeup, no designer clothes and she was here…staring at the window sitting in a chair and analyzing the rain who was still pouring after 3 days in a row…
Paris…he really didn't like this city, too much had happened here and adding to that he was depressed with the weather and he conclude if he the CEO of Bass Industries was feeling that way, he didn't even want to know what his god daughter was feeling at this time.
The look on Blair's face told him everything he needed to know. Her body was in the same room as his but her look scared him…staring at her and waiting for an answer, he studied her face carefully…he couldn't believe what he saw in front of him: the most beautiful 26-year –old woman, normally who would be so happy, so bitchy, so proud of herself, always complaining about something and giving orders to anyone she could… she wasn't there anymore and he couldn't feel anything but guilt, and grief.
"Blair, I know I…I'm not really the kind of person who knows what to say…and especially one who's babbling…and… Blair I'm here just so you know…" Bart said carefully scruting her expression.
"Thanks Bart…I'm fine…I just wanna be alone…please"
He sigh and said "ok…I'll be outside talking with your mother." He kissed her temple and left the room.
"So?" asked Eleanor. "did she say something to you?"
"No. and clearly she doesn't want to talk, to eat, to be with someone in the same room…she just…" fighting his fear he said out loud what everyone in this psychiastric hospital thought. "she doesn't want to live…and I failed…how could let that happen…I mean I am the fucking CEO of a multi millionaire company …and I can't handle my OWN god daughter…"he hissed.
"Stop, please stop…" Eleanor wasn't the kind of mother showing her emotions and that's why she had chosen bart to be blair's god father years ago…she knew he could and would handle her if anything happened to her and Harold.
"it's not the time to let our guard down and to break…"
"I'm sorry but…did the doctor said something? we're paying thousands dollars for her to get better and every time I come to see her I don't see any progress…"
He didn't have time to finish his sentence, when her doctor appeared in the end of the corridors…
Bart went straight to him "excuse me …hmm I forgot your name…it must have been pointless to memorize it as you are as useless than your name" He was furious with this 'doctor'. He looked at him with such ferocity and anger in his eyes, his blood was boiling and now would be the time to let everything explode in the doctor's face.
"Bailey, Doctor Bailey… hmm right now I don't have time to talk to you I have to see my patients but we can have an appointment tomorrow and talk about whoever patient you're here to see" he said not even lifting his head from his paper to answer Bart.
Bart, him was ready to punch this prick or rather hide a hitman to do it. He made a mentally note to ask his PI to check on him and on his competences as a "doctor"
"an appointment tomorrow…" he said with a low, dangerous tone…" is it some kind of a joke doctor? You must know who I am and that I'm in france for 3 days…I don't have time to wait for an idiot, incompetent, cross-eyed doctor to make an appointment with me. Am I understood? Bart Bass doesn't wait for appointements" he put the accent one the last word to let him understand that he didn't know who he was dealing with. Dr Bailey, when lifting his head saw that cold blue stare who could have wound him. If look could kill, he 'll be dead already with different holes in his body.
They continue to stare at each other for a while wich seems like years. At this moment, John Bailey , psychiastrist since 17 years graduating for Harvard and the major of his promo, knew that he was in trouble. He then slowly lift his hand to show a room where they could talk.
"You didn't lose your skills of persuasion...glad to see that.." Eleanor said smiling to him and entering the room the doctor was the first one in.
"Sarah, I'll be busy for a while, ask Dr Johanson to start the visit without me." He asked the nurse who just witness the strange exchange.
He, then close the door to the study and went behind his desk to sit down.
"Please have a sit, Mr bass, Mrs rose…" They both took a sit and waited for Bart to begin with.
"I'm going straight to the point , I don't have time to babble like some idiot you're probably used to considering this …place…" Bart began with disgust. The look on Bailey's face was priceless thought Eleanor.
"What's going on with Blair? And why haven't she done any progress? She's been here for 2months now and nothing…nothing changed! Are we paying you to give her candies instead of meds? She's not here to draw flowers and houses like some stupid 5 years old children!"
" Mr Bass…" the doctor tried to talk but was interrupted by and really angry, mad and threathening Bart bass.
"Cut the chase and spare me your idiocy. What's going on?"
"Mr bass…Mrs waldorf-Archibald …well" he struggle to find his words knowing that he must have the right ones if he wanted to keep his job " she's depressed, she has had a lot traumas in the past 2 years and she started recovering when her father died 3 months ago. We're trying to do the best we can, but every treatments we start seems to fail…the therapy is still important but not effective" he paused a few moments burning under those two pairs of eyes who were on him.
"And what does she say in therapy?" asked Eleanor.
"I can't answer that Mrs..." he was interrupted by hysteric Bart.
"Yes you can and let me tell you something you will" he threatened.
"It's against the hospital policy and…"
"Do I look like I care what policy is in it stupid hospital who obviously incompetent people are working…?" Bailey's swallow hard, his eyes full with fear and was about to respond when Bart kept speaking.
"You will tell us everything we need to know, and everything we need to do to help her to feel better.."
"Mr Bass do you think this is that simple? She lost her husband in a car accident when they were arguing because she just discovered her dearly husband for 5 years was having an affair with his secretary…The last words they spoke were insults, threats and cuss words…adding to the fact that she was 7 months pregnant and she lost her baby in the same car accident and had to give birth to a dead child…and considering her condition will probably never be able to bear children…"
He paused a moment and when he saw that he had hit a nerve and both of the people were speechless he kept going. "She then one the year anniversary of her husband and child's death, that day wich her life fell apart her father died …how do you expect me to make her feel better in 2 months when there is obviously the insecurity, the eating disorders, trust and abandon issues for her whole life and the grief that come with …We have a lot to work on and …I think there is another solution we should explore…" The last part of the sentence was spoken very very carefully. When he saw that they both frowned with curiosity he finished.
"What solution?" they asked in unison.
"Have you ever heard of the ECT?"
" ECT?"
" yes…it's a new sort of treatment used on severe depression and which show some progress on patient extremely wistful…we provoke an epilepsy crisis in the frontal lobe of the right hemisphere for a few minutes…that helps the brain to produce serotonin , the neurotransmitter lacking in depression…" he was interrupted by Eleanor who stood up abruptly screaming…
"You want to do WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU'RE THE ONE TO NEED THAT EPILEPSY CRISIS AND NOT MY DAUGTHER!I can't believe what he's suggesting…did you hear that Bart? We should immediately revoke his licence! STOP THIS NONSENSE"
"Mrs ro-"
"No!NO! Do you hear me! You are NOT going to use that SOLUTION on my daughter!"Find another one or be sure you'll be jobless before the end of the week! Are we clear?"
"And you Bart why are you musing without saying a word? You don't really think she needs that ? This is a complete aged, single white trash dumbass who is suggesting that!"
"No I think this could be-" The doctor began and was cut off by Eleanor..
"SHUT UP you! Do you know my daughter, she's not crazy she's DEPRESSED and she doesn't have to be treated like murderers who are waiting for the death penalty! Find something else"
That's when Bart began to talk, his headache beginning from Eleanor's screams.
"Eleanor, I think you should calm down and go wait outside, I'm going to take care of it…"
"NO! You can't be serious –"
"Eleanor, GO!" he asked firmly letting her know there was no place to discuss. Relantly she walked to the door and then turn around to face both of the men now standing in the center of the room.
"GO! Wait for me at the cafeteria! I'll be right back"
"The cafeteria?" she asked in disgust. "Are you trying to kill me too Bart? Do I look like the poor middle class who eats fries and wears jeans?..."she scoffed and when she saw the look on Bart's face she turned around heading outside the room. Before closing the door she said "I'll be waiting you, but hurry I have a meeting in 2 hours, I don't have time to waste." And with that, closed the door.
Slowly Bart turn to look at the doctor who was now looking like a prey , afraid ready to pee on himself. With his stern, businessman look he began:
"I'm Bart Bass, even European must know what it means…"
45 minutes later and Eleanor was on the phone with Lauren her assistant and was ready to go back to that room when she saw Bart walking toward her.
"So?" she asked tired and exasperated for the time she's been wasting in this cafeteria where the chairs weren't even disinfected, and the table even clean.
"I have the perfect solution." He said confidly. She was waiting for answers with her eyebrows furrowed "She's coming back with me to New York and I'll take care of her with one of the best neuro-psychiastric in town. I already made the call lily is ok with that…she'll be living with us….I'm gonna keep my promise to Harold"
"Are you C-R-A-Z-Y? I knew it, this is this doctor! I don't know how he manipulate everyone to do what he wants but-" She was screaming now in the middle of the cafeteria and everyone was staring at them with these-americans-are-so-disconnected-from-reallity-world look.
"No!... She has to live this town, this country, these people if she wants to try to move on with the grieve. When she'll be ready she'll come back. I promise I'll take care of her like my own daughter…"
"Running away is not the solution Bart..; she'll never forget what happened-" she was cut off.
"I didn't say she had to forget but to move on, to accept to live with this grief and memories…too much happened here and she's drowning, we have to do something before it's too late."
"I don't know… she doesn't know anyone in new York…her friends, family and entire life is here…"
"I'll help her try to build a new one there, I promise you if in a few month she's not better she'll come back..."
She mused and began to think of Bart's words and then said "ok. Ok. I give you 6 months to try to have her better and I f not we'll think about new therapists."
"Thanks. She'll be better in 6 months I swear…"
She sighed…she has never been a good mother but now she seemed to trust Bart on this and agreed with that.
"You know, Lily's children will be around…I mean Serena and Eric are at home every week. I'm sure she'll be friend with them."
"Well, I hope so, I hope so." She said in a low tone, not really conviced it was the best idea but the only one left now.
"Let's go and tell her the news…I have to flight to London tonight to see Chuck and Amy. I 'll be back Tuesday morning and we'll take off to New York."
"I trust you. How is Charles? And Amy? That's been a while since i've seen them…that was a long time ago…how is doing?"
"Well you know him…after his wife left him before trying to kill their child…I would say he's good... but you'll never know with him, he's my son and he's like me more than, in a way…"he chuckled sarcastly. "Anyway it's been 3 years now…"
"Poor boy and poor baby…I mean what kind of mother do that to a few months year-old baby?"
"A depressed one I think…the pregnancy was really difficult for her without drinking, smoking and doing drugs…they say it's what led to the "post partum depression"…kind of some others bullshits dumbasses doctors are saying…"
"Well, I don't even know why we are here any longer, go tell Blair she'll be living this place without even a decency cafeteria?"She hissed looking around the place as if it was a homeless shelter.
"I'lI go break her the news. Maybe if I'm lucky she'll saw some emotions…she always has hated New York…anyway I have to go if I want to be able to spend some time with my granddaughter."
"You are really proud of her, aren't you?" She smiled because she knew she'd never saw Bart Bass himself melting only when he was with Amy.
"Yes I am, I am. If somehow Chuck could move back to the UES, I would have her more…"
"Well maybe one day he'll come back…give him time Bart."
"I know…" With the last words, he leaned back to kiss her cheek and started to walk out?
Tuesday afternoon.
Bart and Blair were silently riding in the limo on the way home. Blair's been sleeping all the flight and was now looking trough the window without saying a word.
They arrived at the VanderBass penthouse and Blair gasped when she saw it.
"Whoa. Whoa…"she whispered. And then turn back to Bart who has been staring at her all the time waiting for a reaction from her. He smiled when he saw her speechless. 'This is a first' his thought.
"This is your home now…get used to it an-"
He was cut off by Lily's entrance. She went to Bart and kissed his cheek.
"I missed you darling…how was your trip?" He smiled backed at her and then she turned around and hug Blair who was clearly incomfortable with this gesture.
"You must be Blair? I'm Lily Bass. You're such a beautiful woman, Bart didn't tell me how beautiful you are…you're at home here do whatever you want and whatever you like…"
"Thanks…" Blair answered awkwardly…"hmm, can I see my room I'd like to take a bath to relax after 10 hours of flight I'm a bit tired…"
"Of course dear, let's go. I'm going to show you the penthouse!" She was so jowfull that Blair could feel herself grow more ill-at-ease each time Lily gave her a puppy look.
They began to run the stairs and Lily was showing the different rooms of the house.
"This is Serena's here and there it's Eric."She showed her children's bedroom with pride and love in her voice. Something Blair knew she had never heard in her mother's voice. "They come often here and even though they're grown up I couldn't …"
"You only have 2 children?"asked Blair trying to sound interested but the only thing she was dreaming about right now was to take off her clothes and take a hot bath with vanilla candles while eating macaroons she brought from Paris. Lily didn't seem to sense Blair's mood so she answered smiling.
"Yes. Serena, my daughter, she's 26 and went to Columbia before dropping out and decided to became a model. She is here every week especially when she argues with her boyfriend Dan who is also her photographer…and let me tell you, she argues with him a LOT. You'll see her very often. Eric is 24 and a French teacher…he's the opposite of his sister ."
She continued to show her the house and Lily stopped outside Chuck's room.
"This is Charles's room. He's Bart's son biologically but I'm his mother. We married when he was 7 so he considers me like his mother and me like my son. You probably have met him during all those years?"
Blair turned around to see the woman and asked "Evelyn was an incredible woman although I've never met my godfather's son…he always came to France alone to see us…"
"Well, Charles is 28, he lives in London and I don't think you'll see him, maybe on holidays, IF he takes vacations….he's like his father always working hard and never resting or taking time for him…what can I do?" she laughed.
Blair smiled and then stopped dead in her track when she saw the next room near Chuck's. She gasped at the sight and kept staring into the room blankly, tears filling her eyes but trying to control herself to not break down in front of a stranger, in a stranger home.
"It's Amy's nursery. Charles's daughter. She's 3 years old and the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen…not because it's my granddaughter but when you see her dad you understand…"She laughed to herself and didn't notice when tears began rolling on Blair's cheeks silently. When she turned around and saw the girl in front of her crying and breathing soundly she said…
"Sweetie are you ok? I didn't mean to upset you…I just…"
"It's ok Lily… Can you just show me my room please I'm tired and I'd like to take a bath…"
"Of course dear…there, it's this room…"Before walking away she added "if you need anything we'll be downstairs. Don't be shy, you're family, you're Bart's goddaughter…" And then she was gone.
When Blair entered her room she gasped, that was a room twice bigger than hers in Paris. She rapidly turn around to make sure she was alone…In fact, she didn't want to talk and keep the pretence to be ok in a country she didn't know, with people she didn't know . She then started to walk through the bathroom, took a bath and return to her bedroom. She sat on her bed rubbing her wedding ring and began to cry. That night she cried and sobbed until she fell asleep. That was going to be a long, a very long journey.
