Secrets That Kill
Summary: Bella has been living in Forks all her life –which hasn't been good. After years of bullying she turns to something that a friend suggests. Later she is diagnosed with anorexia and she cuts daily. She's in the stage of depression. Will the new kids be able to help her out? All human.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters. I just own the plot of this story.
Ages:
Bella – 17
Edward – 17
Emmett – 18
Rosalie – 17
Jasper – 17
Alice – 16
Charlie – 43
Carlisle – 36
Esme - 35
Families:
Swans;
Bella
Charlie
Cullen's;
Carlisle
Esme
Emmett (oldest of the bunch)
Rosalie & Jasper (twins, the next in the family)
Edward (adopted in the family 3 years after the twins were born)
Alice (the youngest of the bunch)
(all of them are Carlisle and Esme's real children apart from Edward)
Bella Swan
My name is Isabella Marie Swan but feel free to call me Bella. I was born in Forks, Washington on the 13th of September 1993. (A/N just go with it. On the web it says Bella was born in 1987 so she'd be 22 but in this story she's 17.) I live with my dad Charlie. He works as chief of police and is very helpful when I need him for things.
Unfortunately mom passed away when I was 10 from a car crash that I was able to be saved from. I don't remember her much but that's when my world started to crumble and fall. I was a sad child before that because my friends bullied me and said I was 'ugly' and 'fat'. I believed them.
At 8, i stopped eating; isolating myself from everything. I wouldn't talk to anyone, I'd stay in my room most of the days and I'd just slowly walk through life. It was actually pretty sad.
My dad and mom failed to notice my sudden need to drop the (FAT) pounds. An average 8 year olds weight is around 57lbs. I was 41lbs and slowly dropping by the months or even weeks. I had a diary and reading over it now I truly thought 41lbs was obese. I still do.
Eventually people started to notice but that was when I was around 37lbs and in severe need of food. I went right down to the point where my heart and other organs were failing on me. After I was discharged from the hospital 3 weeks after having feeding tubes and other horrible stuff pushed into my body I was taken to a psych ward.
It was completely horrible, even if it was for children and many were my age.
Somehow I managed to find something that was sharp. You can probably guess what I did with the stupid thing? Yep i cut myself.
I was probably demented and in an unhealthy mental state which was later confirmed at 9. However I managed to get out of the horrible ward at 10. Still i was anorexic (according to dad and mom) but was luckily around 48lbs. Luckily I didn't go back to the ward because I started to eat again and the cutting decreased to 4-5 cuts a month.
A 9 year old shouldn't be doing any of it and the doctors and nurses said; 'I've never seen anything as bad as this so young.'
I didn't really care. I really wanted to die and at the end of the year things just grew worse! Mom passed away in the hospital shortly after the ambulance took her there on a cold December the 15th after a major car crash. She shielded me with her body and the impact hit her side; causing internal bleeding and broken bones. This was only months after I got out of the ward and when I was in there I was only aloud to see someone in my family once a month.
She was snatched from me when I didn't even have enough time to say loving things to her and apologize for being a horrible daughter.
When I saw her I said, "I know i haven't been the greatest kid but i hope you didn't mind too much; things were just tough, they still are, they still will be mom but I always turn to you with my problems. I just really wanted to say I love you and we'll always be together." She was already dead. She was led on an out of place bed in a cold room with no heartbeat, nothing. The sight of her made me bawl but I held on and told her what I should've told her before i was dragged into a horrible mess of depression.
She was the one who always told Ana to go away; (Anorexia) she'd sit with me; take me by the shoulders and say, "Ana? I know you're in there and you're taking my little girl away from me. You're making her invisible; taking everything that's left of her away. Why do you whisper lies to her? Why do you say this," She'd hold my stomach, "Isn't beautiful? Why do you say she is ugly? Do you not realize what you are doing to my sweet girl? Will you please go away and let my little girl eat something and feel good about it? We beg of you Ana, we beg."
At 11 I got over the anorexia and went back to eating small plates of food. As the years went on I started to eat average sized meals again. The cutting still continued.
At 16, early last year, Ana came back to haunt me after the bullying started again. I didn't want to worry and cry at dad because of people in school so each day I endured it and tried not to eat anything just to drop the calories that were in every meal.
I sighed and made my way down the stairs to set off for school. Charlie has already gone to the police station so it was just me in the house. That didn't bother me; I didn't have to make up some lame excuse about not eating.
I walked straight past the kitchen and out of the door towards my Chevy truck. I sunk into the thick leather and pulled the vehicle in drive.
I arrived at the school at exactly 8:10am. I still had 20 minutes of free time before the first bell rang. I sighed and got out of my truck, settling for a bench under one of the huge trees. It was out of the way so anyone passing would have to be looking intently to see me. I didn't like attention.
Unfortunately I hardly had anything to do than sit there and read. Don't get the wrong idea, I love reading; I really do but the books are always filled of happy endings or nights in shining armour. They were never really real life. I wasn't in the mood for reading today so I stared at people as they walked past and tried to calculate the amount of calories that they carried in their hands.
After the 54th person the first bell rang. I didn't even bother getting up; many people seemed to follow the warning bell. Though after another 4 people they finally stopped; no one else walked past the bench that I was occupying in the far corner. It was pretty sick that they couldn't see me staring at them, well their food.
I got up and pulled my rucksack on my back and started to head across the grass and onto the soft gravel in front of me.
"Hey wait up!" A bell-like voice called out. It was high and very musical. I hadn't been directly talked too since 4 months ago when Lauren and Jessica – the worst gossipers in school – told the school that I was a whore.
I froze with my right foot in mid step and slowly turned around to see 5 gorgeous looking students stood before me. They made me want to chuck away the granola bar I had in my bag. They were so beautiful and thin! Maybe I'd be like that one day and not a fat walrus. "Yes?" I said weakly. Wow, did my voice always crack like that? And was it ever that quiet? I had intended for it to sound strong and loud.
The black haired pixie – well not really a pixie but she looked like one – grinned and bonded up to me. "I'm Alice!" she chirped.
I just stood there like a complete idiot for a while. "Bella." I managed to choke out after a bit. I wasn't very good at socializing.
"Right, Bella pretty name!" She carried on in that shrill voice. "Me and my siblings," she gestured to the 4 behind her. "Are new here. May you show us to the main office or whatever you have here for new comers?"
I sighed. I was late anyway. I shrugged and clenched my pale hands around the strap of my bag to stop my panicking. I hated people talking to me or people getting to close. This girl was inches away. "You'll have to go to Mrs. Cope. Follow me; I'll take you."
I quickly strode up the path and pushed open the main door. It was so heavy that it took a lot of strength from me to open it, or maybe I was just small. No Bella, I began. You're fat! A chubby whale! You're not small at all! I groaned quietly and muttered under my breath. "Shut up Ana!"
I sighed again and led the siblings down to Mrs. Cope. "Mrs. Cope!" I called from the doorway. She understood that I didn't like to be touched.
"Bella dear! What's brought you here? Do you need a late pass?" She came around from her desk and came towards me, thankfully stepping about 4 inches away from my right side to give me my space.
I shook my head. "No, Mrs. Cope I was just bringing the new students here."
She nodded in understanding and went back to her desk; rummaging around for 5 time tables and 5 hall passes. I stepped from the doorway and the siblings piled in behind me. Great; I had to be in the front.
Mrs. Cope came back and frowned when she saw the siblings were too far to the door for her to hand the stuff in her hands too. She smiled sympathetically towards me and gently laid the stuff on the ground. She took a step back from them and I bent down, scooping it all into my hands.
I bit my lip and turned back to the 5 behind me. I gently held the papers out at arms length to Alice and she took them off me, thankfully not making any skin contact.
I breathed out in relief and grinned proudly at Mrs. Cope. I had never handed a stranger anything for years!
"Now the time tables should be fine but if you have any problems with them just come back to the office at the end of the day," Mrs. Cope spoke to the siblings. "And the hall passes are to be used for going to the toilet or being excused from lessons for a medical reason or anything emergency-like. Bella here will take you to each lesson and show you around and will report you back here at the end of the day."
My mouth dropped open in shock and tears pricked at my eyes. I turned to Mrs. Cope in confusion and anger. How could she make me do this? "Why...but...I" I couldn't get any words out.
"Bella," her eyes softened. "This will be good for you; you need to be able to do these things at your age and besides Charlie has personally recommended it."
"Okay" I whispered and headed out of the room.
I heard Mrs. Cope in the room. "That's my girl."
I smiled inwardly for her happiness. At least someone on the planet was happy. With a bit of a struggle I faced Alice, the only one I knew so far. "Um, so who has who for homeroom?"
"I have Mrs. Edwards." Alice chirped.
"Mr. Carter." The blond haired boy said from beside her.
"Mrs. Summers" The muscular dark haired boy smiled.
"Mrs. Summers!" the blond haired girl beamed at the muscular boy.
"Mrs. Edwards." The bronze haired boy spoke softly from behind them all.
"Alright." I said. Alice and the bronze haired boy were with me. The muscular boy and the blond haired girl were down the hall from us and the blond haired boy was around the next corridor.
I quickly showed them to their homerooms and told them to meet up outside my homeroom for first lesson.
I gave my late pass to Mrs. Edwards who didn't seem bothered that I was late. She was actually proud that I was 'helping the new kids' yeah right. I said down in my seat at the back and Alice and the boy had to sit on either side of me. No more privacy anymore then. Damn.
"This is Edward" Alice said as she pointed to the boy.
I nodded and smiled as best as I could. "Hello Edward. It's nice to meet you."
He smiled softly. "It's nice to meet you too." He held out his hand in introduction.
I simply shook my head and waved at him. No touching. Easy.
He looked confused but dropped his hand.
"The black haired boy is Emmett," Alice began. "He's the oldest of us and is 18. Then there's Rosalie and Jasper; the blond haired boy and girl. Their 2nd oldest and their 17." She smiled. "Then Edward was adopted into the family 3 years after the twins and he's 17 too and then there's me!" she giggled. "I'm 16."
I was a little surprised at that. Alice was 16? "You're 16?" I asked.
She nodded. "I skipped a grade!" she clapped her hands happily. You should be in 2nd grade by the way your acting, I thought.
The bell rang 30 minutes later and then we met up with Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. I led them to classes and then the day passed quickly.
Unfortunately lunch came too quickly and I found myself leading them through the huge double doors. I normally sat right at the table at the back if I ever came in the cafeteria. I headed towards it but I felt someone grab my arm. I froze and my breathing increased slightly. A touch leads to a person. Oh my.
The person quickly removed their arm and I saw Alice looking at me. "Um...Sorry?" she said.
I shook my head. "What's the matter?"
"You're coming to sit with us!" she was back to her hyper self. I wanted so desperately to go to that corner in the back but I had to go sit at the table with them because I didn't want to seem rude. I sat down next to Edward and Emmett and tried to squish my sides into the seat as much as possible so I wouldn't be too close to them. I let my pale hands clench around the edges of the table.
I noticed that Emmett was scoffing down a huge roll with lettuce, mustard and chicken in it and the others were eating various foods.
Ewe.
I just sat there stiffly as I stared at the passers by. Too close. Everyone was too close. I sent my wide eyes over to look at the table I always used to sit at when I first started Forks High. Angela was staring right at me. She smiled at me but I made no attempt to do anything with my face reflexes. Her smile changed to worry.
People were closing in. Emmett was shuffling his chair closer to me so he could reach for Edward's chips and people were walking past my chair each second or minute. My hands clenched tighter around the table as I began to feel lightheaded.
I'd just like to clear up that the top of this is my life story though both my mom and dad are dead. Mom died in a car crash when I was 10 and dad died from Giloblastoma (Stage IV) when i was 14, and I did go anorexic when I was 8 and I did go to a psych ward and I still cut but the only thing that isn't with me now is the panic attacks, the no touching thing and the Anorexic.
My new story :) yes I like writing stories :) as you can see :) my 10th story and my 9th story of Twilight! Yay! Tell me what you think of the first chapter :) if anything confuses you I assure that it will make sense in further chapters but if you do wonder please post it as a review and I'll reply. All reviews are welcome :)
God Bless,
Savannah
