Freddie and Sam have been married for three years and just moved into their first house. Sam is five months pregnant with their first child.
Freddie is driving home from work when his phone beeped indicating a text message had arrived. Since he wasn't far from home he decided to wait and check it then. Less than five minutes later he pulled into their driveway and walked into the house. Sitting down on the couch he pulled his phone out and checked the text message. As he read the message he could feel the blood drain and his expression went completely blank.
Sam pulled into the driveway roughly ten minutes later and quickly headed inside. "Hi baby. I'm home" she called as she came through the front door, but there was no response. She turned around to see Freddie sitting on the couch but he was just staring into the distance. She hurried over to Freddie and as she looked into his eyes she didn't see the same spark that normally greeted her. His eyes were glazed over almost dead looking and Sam was terrified.
"Freddie" she said softly at first, but he did not respond. "Freddie" she said again a little louder this time, but he still did not respond. "Freddie" she said one more time but this time she put her hand on his shoulder. This caused him to snap out of his apparent trance. "Oh hi Sam…I'm sorry I didn't hear you come in" he said as he gave her a quick kiss. Sam looked at him with concern "What's wrong Freddie…you looked like you were in a trance or something" she asked him. She had never seen him like this before, especially when she came home.
Freddie got up and headed to the kitchen "What would you like for dinner" he asked without answering her question. "We can do pizza, Chinese or I can get some of those ribs you really like" he continued. Sam followed him into the kitchen, she stood in front of him "I don't want dinner right now…I want to know what is going on? I have never seen you like that before" she said.
Freddie looked into her eyes "I'm fine Sam…it's nothing" he said as he looked down at the floor. "It sure didn't look like nothing just a few minutes ago…you were completely out of it" she said. "I told you I'm fine…now what would you like for dinner" he asked her again. Sam was usually the stubborn one in their marriage but she knew he could be just as stubborn as her, she knew that he would not budge on this "how about pizza…I'll order, you go sit down" she said.
Freddie smiled weakly at her then went and sat down on the couch. Sam respected that whatever was going on was something Freddie did not want to talk about, so she decided she would drop it, at least for now. After ordering the pizza she went out and sat with her husband until the pizza arrived. After eating Sam put the dishes into the dishwasher and came back out to sit with Freddie.
They sat in silence for several minutes when Freddie laid his head on her lap. As she ran her hand through his hair she could hear him sobbing "Aww babe…what's wrong…what happened" she asked. Freddie turned to her his eyes red and tears streaming down his cheeks "I…I…can't talk about it right now…I'm sorry". She leaned down and kissed him "its ok babe…you know I'm here whenever you're ready".
Sam pulled him closer and held him. After about an hour he sat up "I think I'm going to try and get some sleep", Sam looked up at him "Ok…I'll come with…" she started but he cut her off. "It's ok, you don't have to…I know you like to stay up late" he kissed her goodnight and headed to the bedroom. "I'm coming with you…and don't argue with me" she told him. Freddie smiled weakly at her and then turned back towards the bedroom again.
By the time Sam got to the bedroom Freddie was already getting ready for bed. She watched him throw his clothes onto the floor, he would always put them into the hamper. He got into bed and just laid there staring at the ceiling. Sam could see him fighting to keep the tears out of his eyes, but he was not having much luck with it. She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek…"night babe" she said not really sure if he even heard her. A moment later he responded without looking at her "night Sam". Sam closed her eyes but sleep was actually the last thing on her mind.
At 6:30 the next morning Sam was awakened by her alarm going off. She woke up, shut it off and turned to see that Freddie was already awake and out of bed. She got up, put her robe on and headed downstairs. She could hear him in the kitchen and it sounded like he was making breakfast. She walked into the kitchen "hey baby…you feeling better" she asked hoping that he would feel like talking now. "A little bit" he said in a slightly more chipper tone than last night, but he still wasn't back to being himself. "Do you feel like talking about last night" she asked him. Freddie turned around and she could see the tears that had been running down his cheeks. "Not right now, but thank you" he said as he turned and hugged her. Before turning back around he placed his hand on her belly "you know I would never leave you…either of you…right?" Sam was a little confused "yeah I know that, but what brought that on" she asked him.
He didn't answer her question and turned back around to continue cooking. "How about waffles for breakfast?" he pulled a waffle off of the iron and set it on the plate next to the iron. He turns around to hand her the plate. Sam stared into his eyes for a moment and even though she didn't know what had happened, she knew that whatever it was had hit Freddie…HARD. "Sure babe…sounds great" she said taking the plate and sitting at the table. A moment later Freddie came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee made just the way she liked it and set it next her plate. He sat down as well "aren't you going to eat" she asked him. "I'm not really hungry right now, besides I need to start getting ready for work" he said numbly.
"Freddie, baby….maybe you should stay home from work today….I'm not sure you'd be any good to anyone right now" she said. What he said next caught her completely by surprise. "You're probably right, I'll go call in" he turned and headed into his office to call his boss. Sam was dumbfounded….he hated calling off, he would argue with her about calling in when he was sick, but he just agreed to call off without any kind of arguing.
The next day as they were watching TV, Sam tried to get him to talk about what was going on, but he would not talk about it. "Freddie….I'm worried about you. I've never seen you like this before." He looked at her with great sadness in his eyes "I'm sorry baby, you don't need to worry about me…..I'll be fine" he said. She was about to respond when she jumped and put her hand on her abdomen. "What is it Sam…is something wrong" he asked her. "No…nothing's wrong, the baby just kicked" she said taking his hand and placing it where the baby had kicked. The baby kicked again and for the first time in two days Freddie actually smiled.
The next few days got a little better, Freddie went to work, and he wasn't as distant as he had been, but still he wasn't completely back to normal. Freddie came home from work and to his surprise Sam was already home. As he walked into the house he could tell that she was making one of his favorite meals. He walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife. "Hey baby" he said kissing her on the neck. "Hey yourself" she said as turned around in his arms and kissed him on the lips. "Are you feeling better" she asked him. "Yeah I am…and I think I'm finally ready to talk about what happened" he said. "Let me turn this stuff off and we'll go into the living room".
They walked over to the couch and sat down. Freddie took a deep breath and exhaled. "Well…..um….." he paused for a minute "I got a text on my way home that night" he looked to be on the verge of crying again. "Babe just take your time, I'm not going anywhere and we have all night" Sam told him. He shook his head and tried to continue "the text was from my uncle….the one on my dad's side" he said pausing again. Tears were starting to form in his eyes again and it broke Sam's heart. Sam took his hand in hers and gave a quick kiss before giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I checked the message when I got into the house…..umm….he…the message said that my dad…..my dad…he died" he had barely gotten the last word out before he broke down. Sam pulled him closer to him and just held him "oh baby I am so sorry".
After a few minutes he had composed himself enough to keep going. "But do you want to know what the worst thing is" he asked her. "There is something worse than finding out your dad died" she asked. He shook his head yes and what he said next took Sam by complete and utter surprise. "I HATE HIM….I HATE HIM….I HATE HIM" "I hate that he left me and my mom, I hate that he never kept in touch, not even phone calls on my birthday" he tried to steady himself. "I...I mean did I do something wrong….why didn't he love me" he asked as tears ran down his cheeks. Sam had never heard Freddie say that he hated anything at least not the way he just had. "Oh babe, I'm sure he loved you" Freddie looked her in the eyes "No he didn't….if you love someone, you keep in contact, but he didn't even do that. I never once got a birthday card from him, no letters, nothing" Sam wiped the tears from his face and kissed him. "But to me the thing that I hate him most for is for what he's doing to me right now. I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to be sad over him, he's not worth it." Freddie stood up and started to pace around the living room, Sam followed him.
"Freddie he was your dad and even though you didn't have any kind of contact, that is still going to hit you hard, just because he is your dad." Freddie looked into his wife's loving eyes "All these years I've always wondered…did he get remarried, have another family…maybe a son that he actually loves….I mean I must have done something to make him stop loving me. I must have been a bad son." The tears started flowing down his face again. "Freddie….you were not a bad son" she told him as she gave him a quick kiss. He wiped tears from his eyes and then continued "and now I'm starting to wonder if I'll be a good father…..I mean I didn't have any kind of role model or anything" he was having a difficult time keeping it together.
Sam grabbed his hand and she led him to the kitchen table and sat him down. She pulled up another chair in front of him and sat down. She pulled his head up to look into his eyes "hey, don't you dare think that you would be anything but a great father" she told him. "But" He started to respond but she placed a finger on his lips "but nothing baby…you will be great…there is no doubt in my mind" she said lovingly. He smiled "thanks Sam….I guess all this stuff with my dad….just made me question myself." "Well you have no reason to…and I don't want to hear another word about it….ok?" "Ok…besides how can I argue with the most beautiful woman ever" he said leaning in to kiss her. "You are so cheesy, but it's why I love you" she said chuckling. "I love you too" he responded.
