Maybe
Lorlelai woke up to birds chirping, the sun shining and a feeling that a weight had been lifted off of her, finally. Opening her eyes she remembered why.
She reached over to run her fingers down his body. He slept peacefully, snoring softly and with a slight smile on his face. They had fallen asleep only two hours ago. It had taken a long time to make up for all of the time spent apart. Never had her life and her bed been so empty and now so full again.
Yesterday had been a terrible day at the Dragonfly, too many bills, too many cancellations and not enough staff or time to get everything done. She had worked a very long day with no coffee and very little food, par for the course the last few weeks, no diner, no appetite.
She dragged herself home after eight and changed into sweats and pulled her hair high on her head. She'd taken a few bites of a burrito bought on the way home from Al's. How did that place stay open serving such terrible food? Luke was right….Luke was somehow always right.
Turning on the TV and wrapping a comforter around her slim body (slimmer now since food was just a nuisance) Lorelai settled in for another long boring evening. They all were the same now….TV and then tossing and turning through the long sleepless night. Morning was always welcome, time to get out of her lonely empty bed and go on with her lonely empty life. At least she had the Inn and Rory. Rory had been her rock, calls morning and night, reports of her Yale life, little snips of her new personal one. She even came into town several times a week. When had Rory become the mother?
Lorelai had been dozing in front of the TV when a solid knock at the door had awakened her. It was late or so she thought but a quick look at her Hello Kitty clock said nine thirty. She pushed off the comforter and walked to the door, not caring how she looked or even who she might be opening the door to. What difference could it make at this point? Her life was down the tubes anyway. She walked to the door and opened it and there he was, her ex. God she had always hated those letters together….ex…excise, exaggerate, exploit, explode, expire….hated them all. Her mind went immediately to how she must look. She had been keeping up the front outside in the real world. New clothes, high heels, smile always pasted on her face, hair perfectly curled….while inside she was dark and unkept and deeply messed up. And now here he was seeing the real person…as always Luke was the only one to see the real person.
Lorelai stepped back and let him walk into her living room. He had a surprised look on his face, not in a good way but more like concern. She didn't think she looked that bad and she knew the house looked good. Rory had cleaned every time she stopped by. Luke handed her a bag. She had noticed the aroma as soon as he had walked in….it was the first time she had felt the need for food in a very long time. Lorelai took the bag and thanked him quietly. He took it back and walked into her kitchen and soon returned with a plate full of food. He said two things, "Your welcome" and "now eat." It wasn't a suggestion it was a command…a command from the ex.
Lorelai picked up the burger and took a small bite and tried not to smile too widely. It tasted so good and he looked so good…. She took a fry and dipped it in the salt/pepper mix and then the ketchup. She tried to offer him one but he refused. "You're too thin. Eat." Talk about a man of few words.
She sat quietly eating and watching and trying to think of something to say. Good old Luke, always there when you needed him. She needed food but she also needed him….desperately. She had blown it and now she was paying. But for now, just for this hour, he was there in her house beside her on the sofa and she could pretend just for a few minutes that he was there for her.
Luke watched her nibble at her sandwich. He tried to hide his concern at her appearance. She didn't come to the diner any more or even into town. He had seen Rory at Doose's buying food and other things. And when he had caught distant glances of Lorelai she had looked spectacular, bouncy hair, short skirts and a jaunt in her step. How could she look that great while his heart felt like there was a vice slowly tightening around it….every day a little tighter. Every day he cared a little less about life became a little more numb. But today he had heard Patty and Babette whispering about Lorelai. He heard snippets of too thin, too much time alone, lights on during the night. And he had come to see for himself and was shocked. The light was gone from her eyes, her clothes hung on a bony frame and her usually zeal was just gone, along with her appetite. She had taken a few bites and then put her food down.
"Thanks Luke, this was nice. Good to see you…you look good."
Luke knew he looked the same on the outside but inside was a whole other matter.
"You look …. hell, you look too thin. Doesn't Sookie feed you out there at the Inn?"
"She tries but I've been busy." Busy running around trying to keep my mind off you, busy avoiding any contact with you.
"You should come by the diner. I don't bite and well, I miss you. Just because you don't want to be with me anymore doesn't mean you have to stay totally away you know."
"I don't want you?" She looked at him mystified.
"You said…"
"No you said…"
Luke tried to look at her but it just hurt too much. He had to get out of there.
"I have to go. Caesar, the diner, closing…."
"Yeah, I know, important things. Thanks for stopping by and thanks again for the burger. Nothing quite like a Luke's burger." Nothing quite like Luke period.
She followed him to the door and gave him a small smile. It almost hurt to use the muscles again but it felt so much better than her constant use of her tear ducts.
He turned to say goodbye and saw her smile fade and he couldn't take it anymore. He reached for her and pulled her into him. He expected a fight, he expected her to pull away. But instead he felt her small frame lean into him and heard a small sigh escape her lips. They clung to each other for a moment and then as if realizing what she was doing she quickly pulled away.
"Thanks again. You're a good friend. Maybe I'll stop by the diner sometime." She knew it was out of the question and he knew she was just saying the words to get rid of him.
Luke opened the door and started to leave but he this time he just couldn't. He knew if he left this time that he would never get up the nerve again to come back. His one lame excuse had been used. He turned around just in time to see her wipe a tear away…one lonely tear running down her check. Her eyes led him to believe there had been many shed before that one. Damn this just isn't the way it's supposed to be.
This time Luke wrapped his arms around her and was determined not to let her pull away. He held her so tightly he was afraid he would crack her ribs. She was smaller than he remembered and oh so fragile and wow did she feel great in his arms. He had missed this even more than he had thought. Luke pulled slightly away and looked down into her eyes. They were full of tears and he felt pretty close to that state himself. And without a word he bent down and captured her lips in a soft, sweet questioning kiss. The question was soon answered. They couldn't get enough of each other from that moment on. He scooped her up and headed upstairs. Her room was a mess…tissues everywhere, the bedding in a jumble (much like his at home) and her television droning on at the end of her bed. All the tell tale signs that she hadn't left this room much in weeks. No wonder he hadn't seen her around town, she had been spending her time alone here. Seemed fair since he had spent every moment that he wasn't working alone in his small apartment watching mind numbing television. Luke gently pressed her down on the bed and slowly stripped her clothes away, again surprised that her body had changed so much in such a short time. He ran his hands over her body as he kissed her and actually saw the light come back into her eyes. He smiled as she returned his touches, his kisses, and as she eagerly molded her body to his. It had been far too long…..
They made love for hours. Gently at first and then wildly and then gently again, talking practically the whole time, whispering words of love and longing and apologies….words of their stupidity and words about all of the time they had wasted. Snuggling close and feeling confidant and finally satisfied, they spoke of how stubborn they both were and how simple communication would have resolved all of their fears. They made promises to try harder, to love better and to never hold back hopes or fears again. Lorelai had wrapped her body around his and they had fallen asleep. She remembered him waking her up once during the night and taking her gently and mumbling something about this being a dream and not wanting to wake up. But she had just woken up to birds chirping, the sun shining, and her wonderful ex by her side. Extra, exalt, exceed, excellent, exhilarate…..and he was kissing her again and it was exactly what she needed…..extraordinary.
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Just had to write something…..and it will be extraordinary when it finally happens!
