A/N: Hello lovelies. This fanfic is DMHG and continues after the war. Some things might not be the same as in the Harry Potter books for example Lavender Brown may be alive, Lucius is in Azkaban in this fanfic etc.
Hope you will enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not J K Rowling (she's the queen tho) and this disclaimer counts for every chapter of this fanfic of course (just too lazy to write it always all over again since this is quite obvious).
PS: To make it clear, this fanfic is not going to be all dramatic and emotional over the war, they are glad that it is over and mainly recovered during the summer (they had 4 months, the war ended on the 2nd of May and it is September the 1st now)
And it is M Rated because there might be some M rated chapters or some M rated moments, but yeah... enjoy!
A/N: Update Dec 2015
Hello everybody! Thank you for reading my fanfic and hope you all enjoy x
I deleted the prologue and tried to add it into the first chapter a bit, since I found the prologue rather boring... so yeah enjoy!
Chapter 1: Disappointment
.
"Look at our common room, Harry! It's beautiful!" Hermione marveled.
They entered their private common room, connected to their own bathroom and bedroom. The room was generous, it had a few sofas and two armchairs circling a small table on the left side in front of the fireplace. On the right side were bookshelves, cupboards and a modest, but neat dining table.
At the end of the room was a door leading to their bathroom and in each corner another door, on one written: Head Girl and on the other one: Head Boy on it.
She and Harry had spent the summer at the burrow, celebrating their victory against Voldemort and mourning over the loss of close friends and family members. They also had helped the ministry a lot with organizing structures or identifying Death Eaters who were on trial and some days they had helped Professor McGonagall to repair and rebuild Hogwarts with other students and teachers.
One day in July, Hermione and her best friends had received a letter from Hogwarts. It had been an invitation to repeat the seventh year and so having an opportunity to do their NEWTs. They had been inpatient since then, wanting to return to Hogwarts and craving their comfortable common room to create some wonderful memories. Hermione and Harry had also been informed that they would be Head Girl and Head Boy, if they accepted the invitation to return to Hogwarts.
It had been the most wonderful news during summer, she and Harry had been looking forward to share their common room and doing their duties together, docking points from other pupils and to be allowed to wander around Hogwarts at night.
Now, she was finally back at Hogwarts again, her second home that felt warm and welcoming which it hadn't felt like for ages.
She was endlessly happy and content with her life at the moment, they had won the war,they were back at Hogwarts, which meant staying in the library for hours, studying and discovering new books, besides, she was Head Girl which she always had wanted to be and had her own common room together with Harry, plus she was finally dating her lifelong crush, Ronald. Now was everything she wanted in life.
"This is going to be a fun year!" Harry replied excitedly.
"Look, Harry." Hermione said as she pointed to the portraits above the fireplace – there were a lot of small portraits hanging there. They reminded Hermione of those small Polaroid pictures and they looked exactly the same. They had a name and a year written on the white space underneath the moving portrait.
"These are photos from the previous Head Boys and Head Girls." she said excitingly.
Harry walked to her and looked at the photos. Then he started to smile. "Look, there are mum and dad!"
"They're beautiful, Harry." Hermione said as she put her arms comfortingly around him.
"And there's Voldemort, see, Hermione, that's how he looked like when he was seventeen years old." Harry suddenly pointed at a photo of a handsome man.
"Tom M. Riddle, 1944...Wow... he didn't look like a snake back then." she stated.
They searched for other people they knew and found some interesting photos on the wall. After a while they decided to take a look at their bedrooms.
Hermione opened the "Head Girl" door and checked out the room behind it as Harry did the same thing.
She had a king sized bed, the well chosen duvet cover was red with golden stripes matching perfectly with her house colour and made the room look warm and comfortable. The walls were mainly cupboards and shelves and she had a beautiful vanity unit. Since she had been together with Ron, she had tried to make herself prettier, her hair wasn't a bushy mess anymore and sometimes she even tried to put on some make up, but removed it quickly afterwards with the thought that it just didn't suit her at all. In conclusion, she wouldn't be using the vanity unit that often.
She started unpacking her books and placed them with care into the shelves. This is marvelous, she thought. No more being in the same bedroom as Lavender and Parvati—not that she didn't like them—but they kept talking about boys and make up and all those other things she wasn't interested in. And every time she read a non-fiction book in her bed, they rolled their eyes and continued their typical conversation. Now she had this big room for herself where she didn't have to stuff her books in her trunk or beside her bed, but had enough space for them instead.
"Hermione, are you ready? I'm getting hungry and Ron's probably waiting for us already." She heard Harry call.
oOoOo
The decorations of the Great Hall were as beautiful as always. Thousands of candles were floating in the air and the ceiling was charmed the same way as usual, yet consistently admirable. They reminded her of Dumbledore even though he wasn't the founder of the idea. The walls were fully repaired again and the castle didn't have any scars from the war anymore and it felt secure here, more secure than it ever had been.
Just as she sat beside Ron and gave him a peck on the cheek, McGonagall started the sorting of the first graders.
She looked through the crowd to see who came to repeat the year. Lavender, Parvati, Neville and Dean were at the Gryffindor table. She saw Luna, Padma and some other familiar faces at the Ravenclaw table. Her eyes wandered to the Slytherin table, which had some gaps.
She guessed some former Slytherin students were probably in Azkaban now or had to deal with family crises. She also heard that many parents wanted to send their children to Durmstrang which she found ridiculous, Hogwarts was a much better place to recover from the war.
A blonde head stood out brightly from the crowd. She knew it was Malfoy.
She stared at him, wondering about his life right now. She knew his father was in Azkaban, some of his friends, too.
He seemed kind of impassive. But he always did. She asked herself if he might have changed during the war which she knew was a silly question, everybody had changed during or because of the war.
Suddenly his eyes caught hers- her heart just jumped. Quickly she looked to the first year students. This was awkward, she hadn't 'exchanged' words with Malfoy for months, not that they ever had proper conversations, but he had seemed odd since the sixth year.
She dared to glance at Malfoy again. Dumb idea, she thought as he was still staring at her, his glare was cold, but not as cold as she expected it to be. After all, he probably had a bad time during summer and had to deal with things she couldn't even imagine. A lot of things about his family were published by the Daily Prophet, which surely didn't make his life any easier, but then again, why should she care?
She turned her head to a different direction – making her actions more conspicuous. How embarrassing. He caught her two times in a row.
Ronald looked at her and saw her disturbed face. So he gave her a wet kiss on the cheek. Hermione quickly wiped away his saliva with a slight expression of disgust, but then she squeezed his hand and smiled at her red haired boyfriend. She was happily in love with him and he with her. So why worrying about something trivial like Malfoy?
Anyway, tonight would be a special night for her and Ron. They would make love for the first time. They had planned this night already several weeks ago. At the burrow they never had some time alone and when she had known she'd be the Head Girl and would have an own bedroom, they had seen the opportunity.
She was excited and nervous at the same time. It was her first time, Ron on the other hand was already experienced which made her insecure, but people said it was better when the man had already done it sometimes. Anyway, she was looking forward to it, she loved Ron.
oOoOo
Draco was disgusted. Granger and the Weaselbee were together, eh? He knew something was going on between her and one of her idiotic minions, but he was always rooting for Potter. At least, he had some galleons.
He sighed heavily, he really didn't want to be here. This summer had been hectic enough for him. He and his father had gone to trial after the war. Lucius had been punished with life sentence imprisonment in Azkaban.
Luckily Draco hadn't got a bit of a punishment. Professor McGonagall had testified that he had been forced to be a Death Eater and to follow Voldemort's orders. This had happened all thanks to Severus Snape – it had been one of his last wishes to Minerva—that she should take care of his godson Draco.
The farewell to his father had been dramatic, his mother had cried silently for hours. Draco wasn't sure if he should be sad or if he shouldn't care too much. On the battle he had realized how a coward his father was. But it was his father after all who he wouldn't ever see again. The father who raised him and taught him good and bad.
His mother, unlike Draco, was indeed very sad, she had seemed depressed the whole summer, but she had tried to hide it and had tried to live her daily routine, which had returned to what it had been, since the mass murderer no longer lived in their house. Draco had taken care of his mother since then.
So here he was, for his mother he had accepted the invitation to repeat the seventh school year. He really didn't want to make this, he had enough of Hogwarts. But his mother wanted him to have a good certificate. "You have to think about your future" she had said, even though he inherited the Manor already.
It had been all over the Daily Prophet what McGonagall had said about him, that he had done his missions unwillingly. The new headmistress also had said to him after the trial that she would like to create a feeling of unity among the Hogwarts houses which included Slytherin as well; and he had interpreted it as a welcoming invitation to attend the last year, so it was not predictable for him how people would act around him – he didn't really care though, and he also didn't know how this new school year would be. "Especially with Potter and Granger as Head Boy and Head Girl." he had thought and fixed his eyes on them again.
It was obvious and rather foreseeable that they had been picked to do that duty, and the redhead was excluded once again. Draco smirked, the annoying little know-it-all and the Weaselbee would surely be entertaining this year.
"What're you staring at?" Blaise interrupted his thoughts.
"Look there, Mudblood and the Weasel are in love, how gross." he grimaced.
"Imagine their children: Their hair would be a red bush" Blaise laughed.
Draco just snorted. He found them utterly ridiculous.
At least Blaise was here, he knew he would make this school year a lot easier. Disappointingly, Nott had been sent to Durmstrang by his parents. But he preferred Blaise anyway.
"And look who's staring at you." His mate's look was directed to the nearer end of their table, where a bunch of sixth year girls were sitting, most of them looked bored, studying their fingernails or watching the first year pupils being sorted.
One girl, with long brown hair and a fair face was looking in their direction while whispering and sniggering around with another girl beside her.
"Astoria Greengrass." Blaise answered his own question. "A tasty Slytherin might be interested in you."
Draco caught her glimpse. Why was everybody secretly watching him?
But Blaise had a point, she did look tasty.
oOoOo
Dinner was already over and Hermione spent her time in her bedroom waiting nervously for Ronald to visit her. After some hours he finally came, calming her impatience.
"Sorry for being late," he whispered and fell on her bed, Hermione sat beside him.
"It's okay," she replied, and her voice was trembling. This was it, this was the special moment.
After some nervous small talk, he started to kiss her. And he kissed her deeply. He laid his hand on her hip while she closed her eyes and returned his kisses enthusiastically. Her heart raced and it felt as if her gut was burning, yet happiness and anticipation bloomed in her.
Ron played with her tongue and she felt his hand wandering up to her chest. He opened the first buttons of her shirt, so he could touch her naked, creamy skin. His hands were sweaty and soft like his kisses and his scent. But it made her comfortable since it was very familiar to her.
Furiously she placed her hand where his bulge should be by now.
But there was no bulge?!
They kept snogging and she tried to massage his junk, trying to bring him into the mood, but after fifteen minutes there was still no bulge. She felt her panic rise gradually and her hands got as sweaty as his. Her movements started to get pathetic and she was embarrassed.
She opened her eyes and stopped all actions.
"Ron..." Hermione started with a calm, but worried voice. "Is everything alright?"
He removed his hand from her chest and scratched his head.
"I... I think tonight is not the right time" he murmured.
She didn't understand, they had planned this for so long. And he was always ready for it usually. She felt ugly and her heart started to beat faster, she was getting nervous, but not the excited type of nervousness, but the type of nervousness she got after she handed in an essay she only read through twice.
"But why not? I thought you were looking forward to this." She frowned. And he had been, on the Hogwarts Express he had kept making remarks about tonight, she knew he had been as excited as she had been, when not more.
"Um... uh well Mione..." he stammered. "You kiss weird." he stated then.
"What?" she gasped. She didn't kiss good enough for him... to get hard? She felt her whole head turning red. Merlin, this was embarrassing.
"You... you kiss weird and it is disturbing, y'know, the process." he admitted.
Her heart dropped realizing that this whole time he didn't enjoy her kissing him. But she didn't understand, Ron became lustful many times as they were snogging and she was usually the one who talked some sense into him, saying it wasn't intelligent to do it at the Burrow and let him wait.
"But uh.. you had hard-ons already several times..." she muttered.
Ron got up and stood in front of the bed, his red hair looked slightly brown because of the darkness. Hermione felt her heart stumble and a burn in her throat.
"Well," he started, "I could distract myself back then. But now..." he shrugged.
She felt disgusting. For four months they had kept snogging and he had not even enjoyed it. And she had no clue. She felt like a major disappointment in being a girlfriend. But why didn't he tell her anything? While she had been hopelessly in love with Ron and had felt her hormones rush through her body, he had been turned off by her?
It was like Yule Ball all over again, she felt disappointed from the moment, from herself and from her wonderfully planned evening and felt guilty and horrible towards Ron.
"Erm... I'm about to leave, alright?" he said, awkwardly.
Hermione just nodded and waited him to leave. She didn't even want to take him to the door.
He left with slow, hesitant steps and closed the door behind him.
She suddenly felt a huge distance between her and Ron. Was she so passive that she had never noticed his dislikes? She couldn't believe it, and she thought Ron was not an empathetic person. Her whole world was turned upside down and she regretted to have planned this night for so long. She knew her luck was miserable and could've reckoned with it to get disappointed.
She threw her face into the pillow. Alright, she thought, nothing to worry about.
Next time she will just concentrate on her kissing and this will only be a small tiny event in her relationship that wouldn't be a matter in one week anymore.
Right? She thought, still feeling the stitch in her heart.
A/N: yes a small Dramione moment in the first chapter already, yay! Tell me what you think of this chapter, please write reviews and tell me what was good and bad about it. Always open for critics! Thanks for reading!
