Matomi: Yay go me I'm back! I been gone from the fanfictioning life due to some family issues...They are all cured now So I decided to Come back ,bringing back Cross-Gendering! I know a few are happy at least the ones who actually took the time to read Cross-Gendering. I'm going to warn you it may be different since I lost the original and had to re write it. Its suppose to be funny so deal with me here people. This is my first Yamishipping so please be gentle with me! I'm so use to writing Jounouchi and Seto fics not Marik, Bakura, and Yami. Yeah read and review and if I get reviews I'll post the second chapter!
And a great thanks to my beta bitch ( XD) and best friend YamiMisao! Thanks for volunteering for the job, since well you were the one yelling at me to put this fic back up ;! I LOVE YOU MISAO! XD
Disclaimer: I alone do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the wonderful characters (Well everyone is wonderful except fucking Anzu, ANZU BASHERS UNITE! We must defeat the source of all evil! . Friend ship is not the way!) The Yu-Gi-Oh! empire belongs to a nice Asian guy living it up in Japan, most likely rolling around in a big swimming pool of the money he's making off of the empire.
Pairings: Yami x Bakura x Marik (Yamishipping),Yuugi x Ryou x Malik (Hikarishipping)
(Believe that’s right...OO...Can't be to sure...)
Warning: Yaoi (Guy/guy relationships) Cursing ( It's a yami Fic people! What kind of fic would this be without cursing!)
Cross-Gendering!
Chapter one
Yami's P.O.V:
I watched with a grin plastered on my face as my simple minded Hikari ran back and forth mumbling under his breath about how late he was. I laid on my stomach sprawled comfortably on his bed and watched in humor.
"Their going to kill me I was suppose to be there an hour ago!"
I yawned lazily and rolled over onto my back gazing up into the sweet soft face that was Yuugi’s. "Ne, Yuugi it's not that bad. Only an hour."
Yuugi shot me a death glare and stormed into the bathroom making me lose eye contact with him. He yelled harshly back at me through the blank desolate wall. "Your not helping Yami! If your going to be an ass go far, far away!"
I rolled my eyes as my poor hikari continued his bitch fest. I’ve had enough! I mean come on, they would surely forgive him for being late! I looked around and spotted a shoe. An idea ran through my head, an idea that I would just find childish and simply not Yami'ish...well maybe for Bakura and Marik ,but me, no. I picked it up and waited, waited for Yuugi to walk back into the room in perfect viewing shot. The moment I thought that he came storming in waving his arms above his head like a sissy. I looked at the shoe then back to my hikari. I closed my eyes hoping the target was right and threw. I waited a second and heard a girly scream. I opened one eye and saw a very red Yuugi and a shoe mark pressed against his face. He glared at me and in a heart beat pounced, strangling me." WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION YAMI!"
I chuckled through each jagged breath until Yuugi's weak girly arms laid at his side. I looked at his face ,which was still red, not from anger but from the shoe that had hit him right between the eyes. A gleeful smile spread across my face and in one swift movement I was on top of my hikari, pinning him down with my long slender legs. He wiggled under me and made extremely ridiculous yet funny faces. " Yami let me up I gotta go!" I sighed and reluctantly rolled off him allowing him up. He stood at the bottom of the bed scowling at me. "Really Yami was all that necessary?"
If he wanted the real answer...no...no it wasn’t. But I wasn't going to admit that and be dominated by girly man over there. I gave my best attempt to look cute. You know with the big googly eyes and the fat looking lip? I had it all. It reminded me of the owls I once saw on the discovery Channel. I love the discovery channel...but that’s beside the point! The owls had these huge eyes like they would pop out of their head. Bakura reminded me they had a glazy high or constipated look to them. I laughed, but when ever I attempt the cute-puppy-dog eyed thing I always remembered the owls. So I laid there with the constipated owl eyes and the fat lip look.
Yuugi tilted his head slightly to the left and gave me a weird look. " Yami are you ok? You look constipated." I didn't glare, because that would have ruined the effect, so I made my eyes larger hoping it would work a little bit better. Yuugi ran to the bathroom and came back a few minutes later holding a box. He tossed it at me and I picked it up reading 'Chocolate x-lax.' "What is this, Chocolate x-lax?"
Yuugi smiled that stupid goofy smile." Its for constipation silly! I mean it's a proven fact that you should take 4 healthy shits..." I held my hand up to silence him. I really didn't need to hear any of that. I might just save the box for Bakura, he does get a constipated look a few days out of the month. " Ok well I got to go bye Yami!"
I jumped up and tackled him wrapping my arms around his legs. I wasn't ready to let him walk out that door quite yet." Don't leave! I mean why do you always have to be stuck up those damn twerps asses everyday anyways! I mean it's not like their interesting unless." I did a dramatic gasp. The thought that my little Hikari was actually sexually active was a shocker! I didn't want to believe that he was having sex! Even if he is twenty-one I didn't want to believe it! I looked at him through slit eyes. " Are you doing the dirty dance? Did those pesky little kids get you... Oh my god they did, didn't they! I knew I should have never let you outside to play with that bad old Malik and Ryou!"
I hugged him bringing him close to my chest and petting his soft spiky head. "I knew I should have been worried when you said Bakura made you watch gay porn! They deflowered you! They snapped your ginger! They backed your cookie! Oh my Ra, you could get pregnant! Then they would leave you alone in life to fend for yourself and your baby named Ralph! You'd have to go on welfare!"
Yuugi wiggled free from my grip as I watched his eye twitch. His eye did that from time to time when I kind of went overboard. I didn't go that far overboard...did I? "Yami...I'm twenty-one I was going to be doing things like this sooner or later...and why do you care! I walked in on you and Bakura in MY bed doing it! I'm still finding melted marshmallows and chocolate in the sheets!"
I sat there looking up at Yuugi. He was adorable when he was pissed. He looked so grown up! A thought ran through my mind." Do you want me to teach you how to use a condom and the precautions of safe sex?"
Yuugi growled and turned away, he opened the door and walked out slamming it behind him as hard as he could. I sat on the floor and sighed. I was bored now. My eyes glanced over to the phone, maybe I should call Bakura….
Bakura P.O.V:
"Stop moving or may the hand of Ra smite thy ass!" I looked into the glaring eyes of Ryou who stood in the doorway, hands on hips. I wasn't going to let him waltz right out of the house without a good explanation to why he was leaving with spiky head and Mr. Know-it-all goody two shoes!
Ryou studied me for a minute….then laughed, crossing his arms. "Bakura all I'm doing is going on a date with Yuugi and Malik. Nothing wrong is going to happen. We’re only going to the carnival."
I looked at him and gave him a look that meant 'I will smite you if your lying.' He sighed and grumbled.
"I don't have time for this! I'm late as it is! I was suppose to be at Malik’s an hour ago. Good bye Bakura!"
I watched as his hand touched the doorknob. I yelled, acting all superior. "Don't you walk out that door I am god in this house and you will listen to me!"
Ryou turned his head and glared. "Good bye Bakura, be good and don't force anyone to watch gay porn like you so cruelly did to Yuugi. " He slammed the door, leaving me to yell at it.
"I was simply showing him the educationally funds of homosexuality! It didn't phase him that much! He's with you!" I crossed my arms and pouted. I never got my way. Ok once or twice with Yami but he was drunk and screaming about how he was a pretty lady and the queen of the fairies, but I had so taken advantage of him! I looked over at the phone which had been currently ringing. I stormed over to it and yanked it up almost ripping it off the wall. "What!"
"Well don't you sound like a happy camper."
I cooled down at the sound of Yami's voice. I leaned against the wall. "What do you want? To make fun of me cause I told you last night I didn't mean to moon that old lady! I told the paramedics that she was on the ground and having a heart attack way before my pants were down!"
Yami broke me off before I could finish my tyrant rant on the points of mooning old ladies how could easily have strokes at seeing a pale ass." No...but that was funny. I called to see what you were doing."
"Nothing, so bye!"
"No, not bye! I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me!"
I lifted my eye brow in confusion. Yami wanted to go on a date? We been lovers for 4 years, slept with each other and now he wants to go on a date? Everything seems kind of backwards right now. "Err…why?"
"Well our Hikari's are, so why not us? I mean we deserve to go on a date right? We also have lives! We just don't sit in front of a TV watching the re-runs of friggin Scooby Doo, you know the one where they went to Tokyo?"
"Yeah they had good music in that one...I like Scooby Doo!"
"Me to!"
" Hey weren’t you bitching about something?"
"Yeah..."
"What was it?"
" I forgot..."
I stood there thinking about what had just happened. Somehow we had been discussing one thing and went to a totally different subject. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. "Oh yeah we were talking about date!"
"Yeah...well do you or don't you?"
"Sure nothing on but re-runs."
"Ok you get to call Marik!"
With that he hung up leaving me with a dial tone. I stood there listening to it and decided that they really should make it sound better. I don’t know maybe put on Green-Day or Modest Mouse. I shrug and hang up the phone. I'd call Marik in a minute, but right now I'm going to finish Scooby Doo!
Marik’s P.O.V:
I sat on the arm of the sofa chair and watched as my Hikari wagged his finger at me, like I was five years old or something." Now what are we not suppose to do Marik?"
All in one breath I recited what I was not suppose to do. "No setting the neighbors or animals on fire, no calling the fire department telling them the house is on fire, no sending the mailman to the shadow realm because he didn’t bring the new Spiderman movie, no telling the little old ladies next door that she had been infected by the t-virus and only has 12 hours to live."
Malik smiled at me and headed out the door. "Ok, seems like we understand each other Ja-ne Marik-kun!"
I watched him walk out the door. The moment I heard the door click behind him I jetted to the kitchen, heading for the phone. " Now I can call the little old lady next door and tell her that her cats on fire in the tree!" Before I had time to pick the phone up it began to ring. I cursed it for foiling my plan and picked it up. This better be good or whoever was on the other end was getting sent to the shadow realm! "Hello?"
"Hiya Marik!"
The cheerful voice of Bakura rang through the ear piece. Cheerful Bakura? Oh shit this wasn't going to be good. " You didn’t kill anyone did you? Cause last time I tried jumping the fence and the damn blood hounds bit my ass, ripping my new pants! I'm not going back! Your on your own bitch!"
Bakura growled and I think he had slammed his fist on something because I heard a big thud, either that or he knocked out someone. He did it before, wouldn't put it past him now. "No...and I told you I was sorry!"
"Like the time you punched the mailman?"
" I told you he was looking you up and down! I was defending your honor and that ass is mine not the cheesy mailman‘s! He can go to the leg-humping dogs! Or the creepy old men who lure poor defenseless fat kids to their cellars and feed the pop sickles and butt rape them!"
I stood there silent. Someone needed sleep. Or someone just needed to stop watching TV ,but I didn't say that. Bakura would hurt me...I'm not complaining, I like pain, but his pain is weird! "Ok why are you calling me?"
" Oh yeah, there was a reason for that...I forgot."
I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to sit her for a hour and wait for him to regain his poor memory. I had things to do like calling the little old lady next door and telling her that her cat was up in flames in a tree! " Well call me back when you remember!"
" Oh yeah! I remember now!"
Not the brightest crayon in the box.
" Want to go on a date with me and Yami?"
I stood there yawning. A date? Wow that was actually sudden. Kind of weird coming from Bakura, but hell I'll do anything once. " Sure why not...where we going?"
Bakura went silent on the other end. No big surprise there. " Dunno...Didn't think that far ahead."
I rolled my eyes. Another big surprise. Bakura thinking? Ha what a funny, funny day in hell this must be. I remember my Hikari telling me about this thing that children of all ages go to called a carnival. He said there were rides. He went into detail to what rides were, his definition of a ride was a mechanical device that you got on and go up or down and around some were fast and some were slow. Hw also told me never to eat before going on one. Something about throwing up." How about we go to the carnival? Our hikari's went there as a date."
Bakura went silent. My bet he was thinking really hard. " Sure...that way I can get revenge on that asshole Hikari who made a fool of me!"
Again rolling of the eyes. "Ok say we meet at my place in an hour?"
"Ok I'll call Yami and tell him what’s going on."
He hung up and so did I. I walked over to the couch and turned the TV on. " Damn another Scooby-Doo re-run..."
Yeah...hope you enjoyed the first chapter hope it was funny enough! R&R and if you care as to give me ideas that would be extremely great!
