I couldn't stop the heavy feeling in my chest from growing bigger and bigger within me as it flashed hot and white, flushing through my body like lava. The tears were constant and my whole body shook as I sobbed for all I was worth in the middle of my floor. My fingers felt like claws as they tried to hold my torso together as I felt like I was being ripped in two. Vaguely, I registered the sound of wailing and choking around me, but I couldn't stop. It was like a dam had been opened, the faucet left to run freely. It wouldn't stop, even as I was gasping for breath. It was agony.
"Bella?" I curled into myself, tighter than I thought I could at the sound of a voice at my window. This raw and primal feeling that had overwhelmed me must now be causing me to have some crazy real auditory hallucinations. "Bella! Please!" I must really be a glutton for punishment because the voice was getting closer and closer. I shook my head back and forth, trying to dispel whatever had gotten a hold of me, but it didn't seem to work as a heavy hand landed on the top of my bowed head. A heavy cold hand.
"N-not re-re-real!" Fluid leaked from every orifice I had in my face as I drooled, tears pooling down my face and onto the floor. I barely registered the fact that I was being picked up, I just clutched to the strong body that was holding me tightly. My fingers curled and gripped the fabric of a shirt so tightly, I was sure my knuckles were white as I buried my face into the crook of their neck, my whole body rocking with sobs. Hazily, I could feel an arm gently bumping me up and down as it rested under my sit spots, the other carding through my hair and down my back. "Hush. Hush."
It felt like I had been crying for hours when the emotional onslaught I had been enduring was starting to taper off, leaving me with a wet face, hiccups and sniffles. I probably looked as raw as I felt on the inside. I was a fucking mess, but the bumping and soft pacing never let up. It had been so long since I had been picked up like this…held like a child and comforted like this…I was exhausted. My fingers hurt from how hard they had been clutching at the shirt under them and my eyes felt like they had been encased in sand. Absentmindedly, I lifted my hand and started playing with a strand of honey blond curl as I tried to calm myself down.
With shuddering breaths, I rubbed my cheek against the rock hard chest under me, my eyes drifting closed. "Are you alright, Bella?" I couldn't stop the sniffles, or the few tears that had escaped down my cheeks as I tried to swallow. "I'm s-sorry, Jas-Jasper…" His nose ran along the side of my forehead and I felt him give a soft exhale. "Don't apologize, darlin'." His lips pressed against the top of my hair and we fell into silence, pierced only by my occasional sniffles and huffs, as he kept up the pacing and bumping.
Again, it felt like we had been doing this for hours, when I finally took in a deep breath. "Jasper, a-are you leaving me, to-too?" Pushing me away from his chest a bit, he looked down into my face, catching my eyes with his own warm harvest gold orbs. "No, Bella. I won't leave you unless you want me to." Searching his face, I must have found the truth in what he was saying because he pulled me back to his chest as my body sagged in complete relief. Relief in the thought that I wasn't abandoned by all of the vampires I had come to call my family. Once again, silence blanketed us and I continued playing with Jasper's hair, a yawn splitting my mouth open wide as my eyes drifted back to being closed.
I wasn't aware of when I had fallen asleep in Jasper's arms, but I felt the wet washcloth gently trailing over my face, wiping away the traces of my meltdown earlier. I heard it flump to the floor as it was tossed to the hamper and was aware of the softness of my bed hitting my back. The shoes I had been wearing were slipped off of my feet and my legs were tucked under the duvet. When I was fully tucked into my bed, I felt his lips against my temple and panic shot through me as I reached out and caught his shirt in my hand. "Please don't leave!" Jasper's cold fingers gently extracted my own from his clothing and held it, his thumb rubbing over my skin. "I won't."
Slowly, he crawled over me and settled into bed with me, above the covers to keep me warm as his arm wrapped around my torso and held my arm close to my body with his own. "Hush now, Isabella. Sleep." And I did. Despite the fact that this was the vampire that had lunged at me for a mere papercut at that farce of a birthday party, and despite the fact that others had said his control was absolute shit, I fell into a deep and peaceful slumber. Because when it all boiled down to it, I trusted this vampire, this man, implicitly. Because he had protected me from the nomads, and he had killed for me.
He would never hurt me…because he loved me.
