I know exactly what people think when they see me
Fixer ~ Savior ~ Perfection
Like an angel bathed in a white after glow
With the strength to desecrate problems and create new beginnings.
I am on a pedestal, high above the mortals below
I am a spectacle in a theater of cruel satire
The applause is momentary with a bitter aftertaste.
He thinks he knows me but he doesn't
He loves the persona I have created; the illusion I've invented
The reality is much less bewitching.
In truth, I am straining under the weight of his love
Trying to be who he wants and what he needs
Struggling to save my own morality from a bottomless quagmire.
I'm slowly falling off the pedestal; an angel without wings
The flaws in my character are acceptable to me
But unbearable to others, especially to him
Someone take this white hat off before I scream!
How does a Gladiator learn to love
Recklessly, Unreservedly, Unconditionally
Lest I display a weakness that betrays a lack of confidence
That would disqualify me from a starring role in his life
Who will save the Gladiator but herself?
Who will pick her up when she falls but herself?
If I love him completely will he bear the burden of who I am?
Or will reality become a crushing mass of indignation
Sinking our love to an unrecognizable oblivion?
