An Akatsuki's Rant

A/N: HELLOOOO! Haha new idea x3!

Ok, so, fyi, wow, so many commas lol. Anyways, Rising is up for adoption...

Ok so, crackfic only! Haha, all pairings are supposed to be funny.

The first up for a nice long rant would be Pein x3 (of course) haha.

Bare with me here, it's gonna be funny. I hope.

BEGIN! CHAPPY 1!

Pein: So...why are we here again?

Madara: ...I'm not sure...

Itachi: Why are all (counts) 5 of us here?

Madara: -eye twitch- Itachi...there's only four of us...

Itachi: Really? Cause I see two of you...and Pein-sama...

Pein: -vein pops- ...

Erun: Alright...enough intro, let's get to the rant/interview!

Pein: -same eye twitch as Madara- INTERVIEW?!

Pein: So, I am here today, by Erun's request, to inform many of what seems to be confusing them.

1) MY PIERCINGS ARE NOT MAGNETIC! God, trust me! Konan has tried many times, and Madara even went as far as placing magnets in my underwear! They. Are. Not. Magnetic!

2) No, I don't use my bodies for giant orgies. I mean, really, what the fuck?! And I know I'm being all "OOC" and stuff, but I'm ranting. Rants are supposed to be angry, right?

3) I'm not gay. Ok, so Yahiko was, and he had a thing for Jiraiya and me, but so? Just because I'm in his body doesn't mean I'm gay. (Madara: I know he isn't. He's bi x3)

4) I don't have a "thing" for Hidan or Itachi. They are only my closest friends. In truth, they annoy the crap out of me sometimes. I don't know how their partners stand them.

5) Konan is not my wife, nor do I "glue her papers" all night long. (Erun: yeah, it only last an hour or two x3)

6) Erun pisses me off to no avail. Especially when she INTERRUPTS ME WHEN I'M RANTING!

7) I don't have a thing going with Madara. I will admit, yes we get together sometimes, but we take turns topping. And no, we aren't kinky. (Madara: oh, so that was the thing we were supposed to lie about. All right! -thumbs up-)

8) I hate Deidara, for the people who pair me with him.

9) I have only read the fanfics Erun decides to email me because she inserts important information in the middle of a random sentence and I have to read it all until I know the info.

10) -.- the Pein girl body was the closest ginger available. I don't molest myself at night. I think you're all sleep-deprived and need to go to bed.

A/N: ALRIGHT! I'm making the interviews last. So, I need you guys to review or pm me a bunch of questions you've always wanted to ask every character! Pwetty pwease!

I don't own Naruto...I own Kitty Pein! Meow!