Perhaps in another time, I'll be able to look straight ahead and pretend that I don't see them-- Pretend that it doesn't upset me...

I've never considered myself to be a close-minded person. I can see how much they care about each other-- They're in love.

But it hurts. Everytime I see them together, my chest contracts, because I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Heero.

And Heero's in love with--

I remember when I confessed, and he looked into my eyes with his own prussian blue and smiled slightly. "I'm sorry," he said. "But I can't return those feelings. I'm in love with someone else."

It hurt me so deep, I don't know if I'll ever be the same person ever again.

I cried that night. The tears started, and they wouldn't stop flowing, coursing down my face and soaking my pillow.

I can't remember the last time I cried.

I never thought I'd cry over a man. A man I'm in love with, for sure, but still...

And he's in love with someone else.

I observed them from a park bench yesterday. Heero's face looked so unguarded... I'd never seen it that way before.

I never knew it was possible.

Fate had a hand in this, I'm sure. I was never meant to see the soft side of Heero Yuy... I see only the side he wants people to see, and I'm really only around him when we have to work together...

I know now that I had never stood a chance. He was already in love...even if he didn't know it.

I had a dream once, about running fingers through his wild hair. I knew it was a dream from the beggining.

Every intimate action they share...the little glances, the kisses, the caresses...I always wish it was me instead of...

But now I know. I know that it will never, ever be me.

And I know I will never, ever forget my one, true love.

I may grow old alone, or fall in love with another, but I can never, ever forget.

You could never forget Heero Yuy.

But I can't take him away from his love. I know that. And because I truly love him, I can let him go.

A tear dripped onto my hand and onto the paper as I scrawled messisly what I wanted to tell him.

Dear Heero...

I just want you to know...You were my first love...And I will always love you. Always...Always and forever.




Most Sincerely,


Relena Peacecraft



OWARI


Note: This just Possessed my skull. It wouldn't let me loose to work on other stuff until I wrote it.