I don't own anything! All characters belong to GRRM except Sanjay Waters and Ellyn and some others that will appear later on, that are my oc's.
This is a spinoff of my first fanfic, the Crime of Love. If you haven't read it and want to read it, or are going to read it, then don't read this one yet because there are spoilers everywhere!
I was convinced by some people to write the story of my oc Sanjay Waters, and what his life was like growing up, so here it is! The first chapter!
This first chapter is more of a prologue, and it is a Cersei POV of chapter 10 and 15 from the Crime of Love, just to explain how things happened a bit better. After this, it will be Sanjay's POV, and there will be also Sansa POV sometimes. There is SanSan, but it is not a SanSan romance story, this is the story of their son.
I hope you enjoy it! :D
Prologue.
Sansa's screams tore the relative calm of the road outside the inn. She screamed at the top of her lungs and fought with all she had against the man who wanted to take her away by force, but there was nothing that she, a fragile highborn girl, could do against the Mountain. He took her with one enormous hand only, lifted her up and placed her on the saddle of his horse and tied her to it with rope, so that she couldn't move. All that she could do was keep screaming as she was taken away; she pleaded for mercy, she begged, she cried…
… but no one listened.
One last teeth-wrenching scream was heard before she became suddenly silent and disappeared into the distance atop the Mountain's destrier.
"NED!"
Cersei Lannister could understand how Sansa felt at that moment. She had also had had a child taken away from her, though in not quite the same way. Myrcella had been taken away to keep her safe from the dangers of war. Sansa's child, on the other hand… Well, only the gods knew if she would ever see him again.
Cersei had to admit, she was admired. She had always considered Sansa, that little dove, to be a stupid, worthless, useless girl… But in the moment that her newborn son had been violently ripped from her arms, she had fought like a mad wild beast. There were visible marks that she had left on Joffrey's skin when she had thrown him to the floor and had started beating him in a fit of mad rage and grief. The King's face, neck and hands were scratched and bleeding. It was most likely that he would also have a blackened eye later that day. Cersei would have never thought that the Stark girl would have such spirit, that there could be such strength in her. When she had fought for her son, the wolf inside of her had finally truly fully awakened.
But then again, she had just become a mother. And mothers did anything they had to do for their children, Cersei knew that very well.
They were all riding in silence, travelling through the Riverlands to return as soon as possible to King's Landing. The baby had been crying when they took him out of the inn where they had found him and his mother, thanks to the information provided by Gregor Clegane through a raven that he had sent to the King. However, the little bastard, Eddard, was now peacefully quiet in the arms of on of the members of the Kingsguard. Cersei could see him from where she was, and she couldn't help but notice the babe's widely open eyes. They weren't like the eyes of most newborns, unfocused and half close and grey of colour, no. This babe had big blue eyes of the same color as the sky, and they were staring right at the face of the knight that was holding him. That blue colour… Tully blue. It was easy to see that he was the son of Sansa Stark, but ahrd to imagine that he was also the Hound's offspring.
He does have the Clegane size, she thought, noticing how the baby appeared to be several moons old, instead of merely ten days old. He was a very big, strong, healthy babe. It made Cersei despise him all of a sudden. Of course that perfect Sansa Stark had to have a perfect babe, it couldn't have been any other way! A sudden bitterness invaded Cersei's heart as she looked upon the babe, but also, the fact that he seemed to be so perfect made the satisfaction of having ripped him off his mother's arms so much bigger. Cersei urged her horse to get closer to her son Joffrey's, andonce she was by his side she stared at him with a stern face.
"What are you going to do with him?" she asked.
Joffrey stared back at her with an annoyed expression. He was still furious because of the way in which Sansa had beaten and humiliated him back at the inn.
"What?"
"The bastard," Cersei said to clarify her question. There was a ring of disgust in her voice when she pronounced that word, and her usual tone of superiority was noticeable as well. "What are you going to do with him? I suppose that the most obvious course of action would be to kill him… Or better yet, leave him in the woods and let the wild beasts do the job for you."
"No," Joffrey said, rather harshly and aggressively. His response shocked his mother, who did not understand.
"No?" she asked, confused. She tilted her head to the side a little as she looked at her son and frowned. "Then what are your plans?"
"I will find some wench to take care of the bastard. But I'm not going to kill him. I promised Sansa that she would never see him again, so he will be away from court."
"But why keep him? If you don't want Sansa Stark to see her bastard ever again, the easiest thing would be-"
"If I don't kill him, my punishment to Sansa will be far greater than it could ever be if I get rid of the pup," at that moment, Joffrey's features were twisted by a sinister grin that spread over his face. His eyes were taken over by the same dark shadow that was in them when he ordered Ned Stark's execution. Cersei had to admit, it scared even her to see her son with such an expression. "Only I will know what truly happened to the little monster."
Cersei understood then.
"You are going to do the same thing you did with Sandor Clegane," she murmured, and Joffrey nodded.
Upon discovering the affair that his bethroted and his sworn shield were having behind his back, Joffrey had been angered. He wanted to punish them, and while in the not-so-distant past his idea for the perfect punishment would have been to execute them both, his mind had become more twisted recently. He had made Sansa believe that her lover was decapitated, when in truth he had been sent far away to the Wall. Sandor Clegane was alive, but Sansa thought him dead. Now, Joffrey planned to do the same thing with the Hound's bastard pup.
Cersei kept silence for a few seconds, pondering over what Joffrey had said. He wanted to make Sansa suffer beyond any limits. It was his right; after all, she had committed treason against him, the King, by lying with another man. She deserved it.
"You want to make Sansa believe her babe is dead."
For a moment Joffrey didn't respond, but his grin widened.
"That is the thing, mother… She saw me taking the babe, not killing him. She believes that bastard is alive… Knowing Sansa, she has hope. But no one else knows about the babe, nor will they ever know about him. They won't see him, hear of him. It will be like he doesn't even exist. So when Sansa tries to find the pup, or have any news of him, everybody will think that he is dead! For all they know, she ran away from King's Landing pregnant and in great distress. Gregor Clegane found her in the woods, alone and not pregnant, and the babe was nowhere. He was born dead. And I was never here."
Just as Joffrey finished saying those words, there was a loud noise and screams started to be heard behind them. Cersei looked back, and her eyes found the image of the inn that they had just left being devoured by flames, burning to the ground. Some screams were coming from inside the place, and two members of the Kingsguard that had stayed behind were walking away from the fire. Their swords were dripping blood.
They have killed them all, Cersei realized, staring at the raging flames in the distance. Those who had survived the slaughter were being burned alive at that very moment.
She did not care. She did not feel a thing; those people were only peasants, no more valuable than cockroaches. But it did shock and impress her how many precautions Joffrey was taking to make sure that Sansa would never, as he had promised, find her way back to her son again.
"No witnesses," she whispered, and Joffrey nodded with pride.
"Exactly. No one and nothing left to prove to Sansa that what she remembers is real."
"You want her to think she is mad."
"No. I want her to become mad."
A chill ran down Cersei's spine and she shivered, moving uncomfortably on her saddle. She had to admit that Joffrey's intentions were... monstrous.
She deserves it, a voice said in the back of her mind after she imagined even a bit of the horrors that awaited in Sansa Stark's future. She brought it upon herself, for being a whore. what Joffrey is doing is the right thing.
That night they reached a second inn, but they did not go inside. Joffrey made everyone stop riding before they reached the inn and then he sent one of the knights that was accompanying him (who wasn't a member of the Kingsguard and thus drew no attention from everyone else) to go inside the inn. He gave orders to the knight to fetch a certain person. Cersei did not recognize the name that her son said, and she wondered who that person might be. It was a woman's name, and she felt curious.
She came to realize on her own who that person was went the knight came back with a young woman. She was normal looking, with long straight hair and big dark brown eyes. She was dressed as a simple peasant, but she looked healthy. Cersei knew then what her son Joffrey wanted her for: to take care of the little bastard, away from Court.
When the young woman, Ellyn, was in front of the King, she knelt on the ground and bowed her head.
"Your Grace..."
"Stand up," he ordered, and so she did, but she kept her head bowed. "I was told that you were fit to take care of a babe?"
"I... yes, Your Grace."
"Do you have any children?"
"My... newborn died... a fortnight ago, Your Grace," the young peasant woman said, trying to keep her voice from breaking after recalling that painful event. Joffrey was not moved by that confession.
"Then you can still nurse a newborn babe. They told me you had already been given information about what your job would be and some instructions. Did you tell anybody that we were coming?"
"No, Your Grace, I didn't tell anyone, I swear," Ellyn said, shaking her head.
"Good. Not take the babe and make him shut up!" Joffrey ordered, annoyed. The baby had started crying half an hour earlier, and by now he was kicking and screaming. More than once, Joffrey had appeared to be tempted to leave him alone in the woods for the wolves to finish him off, just like his mother had suggested earlier that day. Cersei knew that the babe was kicking and screaming that way because he was either hungry or had soiled himself, but she couldn't take care of the babe's needs. And even if she could, she wouldn't do it. She did not want to touch that bastard or have him near her. She did not want to look into those bright blue eyes of his.
Ellyn approached the knight that was holding the babe and took him in her arms. As soon as she saw the babe's rosy face she smiled full of tenderness, feeling again a bit of that motherly love that she had lost when her newborn died.
"I will take good care of him, Your Grace," she promised, looking away from the babe just a second to stare at the King. "Is there anything else you wish from me?"
"No. Just don't tell anyone where you got him, and don't tell anyone we were here, or I will have your head and also your whole family's. And travel to King's Landing three days from now. When you arrive, there will be a house ready for you in Flea Bottom."
"Th-thank you, Your Grace..." the girl said, even though there was nothing to be thankful for. However, she did not want to anger the King.
"I will do as you say, Your Grace... But may I ask what is the babe's name?"
"He doesn't have one," Joffrey lied. Sansa had named her bastard Eddard, like her father, but that wasn't a common name and it would be too obvious. People could figure out who that bastard was just by learning his name if they knew the whole story behind Sansa Stark's pregnancy. "Name him whatever you want, I couldn't care less."
Ellyn stared back at the baby, who seemed too big in her arms. After a few moments, she smiled again.
"He looks like Sanjay to me, Your Grace."
"As I said, I don't care, you stupid girl! Just make him shut up already, before I decide to kill him and kill you as well for being incompetent!"
Ellyn took a step back, frightened, and she looked at the King with an alarmed expression. She hugged the babe- Sanjay- tightly against her chest in a protective way, and then she relaxed and bowed her head to the King again.
"I'm sorry, Your Grace... I will not disappoint you."
"You better not," he snarled before making his horse move away again. He wanted to be gone from that place and reach King's Landing as soon as possible. His knights and Cersei followed him, and no one glanced back to look at the peasant woman and the bastard baby.
Cersei had been watching the whole exchange of words between her son and the peasant girl in silence, not daring to intervene while her son spoke and gave orders, specially when he was so unnerved. When they were far away from that inn and had long ago left the woman and the bastard behind, Cersei approached Joffrey, who was now calmer than before.
"After the bastard is in King's Landing, what are you going to do with him?" she asked. "He is of no use to us, you could just tell the commoner to travel far away with him and disappear."
"He has Stark blood in him. The Starks are weak, and they value their bastards. Maybe in the future, having that bastard in our power will be a benefit for us. Besides, he also has Clegane blood, and the men in that family are strong and fierce warriors, obedient like dogs. He could make a fine sworn shield in the future."
"You want him to become a sworn shield? He is the son of Sandor Clegane, a traitor!" Cersei exclaimed, alarmed with her son's announcement. How could he want to trust his or his future heir's life to the bastard offspring of that man... and of the Stark whore?!
"Don't worry, mother... The Hound was weak in the end, but he was the exception in the family. He was given too much freedom to do what he wanted. However, if we train the basted to be a good dog like his other relatives, he could turn into the second Mountain. Gregor Clegane is his uncle, after all, there must be some of his fierceness in his blood."
"You expect the bastard to turn like Gregor Clegane? What if he is not like him? What if he turns out to have his father's weakness? Or worse, his mother gentleness?"
"He won't. We will raise him right," Joffrey said with confidence, and with sadistic enjoyment. "Sansa's child will be a monster."
Joffrey did not love to see his promise fulfilled. A couple of moons later, during his wedding feast, he was poisoned. The Imp had been accused of the murder, but the little monster had managed to escape.
Cersei was loosing everything. She only had her youngest son, Tommen, left, and a dream of revenge on all those that she believed were responsible for her pain.
She thought that the Stark girl must have been behind Joffrey's murder. For almost a year they had believed the girl to he dead after her husband, and his entire household perished when Clegane Keep was burning to the ground one day for unknown reasons. They never found Sansa's body, but they just assumed that it was one of the burned corpses that no one could recognize.
However, her spies had informed Cersei earlier that day that Sansa wasn't dead. She was very much alive, and in company of her lover Sandor Clegane. They had been reunited, and Cersei hated them for it. She hated that they had found their way to each other. Why did everything have to work so nicely for Sansa Stark, while her own world was crumbling to the ground around her? It wasn't fair!
The bad news didn't end there. Not only were the Stark girl and her lover together once more, but they were also coming to King's Landing to get their own revenge. They had travelled and managed to find the Mother of Dragons, Daenerys Targaryen. They had an army, and dragons, and they were coming to burn King's Landing to take Cersei's kingdom away and kill her.
She would not have it. She knew that even with the biggest army, she couldn't win against three grown fire-breathing dragons, it was impossible. If she stayed in Westeros they would find her and they would kill her.
She didn't have anything left in that place anyways. Her son was dead. Her brother Jaime didn't love her anymore. He father was dead. At least her daughter Myrcella was safe in Dorne. The only valuable things that Cersei had left with her were her son Tommen, her life, and her throat for blood and revenge. Revenge for her son's death, her father's death, the loss of everything that she had, her crown...
She wasn't going to let them defeat her, so she took part of the Lannister army. Her father had brought them to the city, and they were hers after he died. She couldn't take all of them, they were too many men and there weren't enough ships at that moment in King's Landing, so she took the best five thousand soldiers. They were ordered to board the ships with Cersei and Tommen one night, and by the time that the city was sacked by Daenerys's dragons and her army, Cersei was well away from King's Landing, crossing the Narrow Sea to reach the Free Cities.
She was happy because she and her son were safe, and they had managed to take a small army with them to defend them if it were necessary. That army would do them much good when they were in the Free Cities. On the other hand, she was also furious. She was furious because they had forced her to escape, to run away in fear like a scared rat. She was a lioness of Casterly Rock! And she would have her vengeance... She would have her vengeance of the new Dragon Queen, and the Starks, and Clegane, and every single worthless bastard that had stepped in her way!
The cry of a baby brought her back to reality after she had been hours on the deck of the ship, staring into the horizon, lost in her own thoughts. She turned around, enraged, only to find that pathetic commoner woman, Ellyn, trying to get the bastard baby to be quiet. The woman had travelled to King's Landing just as Joffrey had commanded her, and she had been raising the babe who was now a little bit over a year old. He had grown a lot and appeared to be much older than he really was. Cersei had ordered the woman to come with them because she could not bear the thought of Sansa Stark reaching King's Landing and finding her bastard son there. Cersei wanted to continue Joffrey's plan, and never let Sansa see her son again. But now, away from Westeros and lost in the middle of the Narrow Sea, Cersei hated that baby more than she had ever done before.
"Give him to me!" she hissed to Ellyn, taking the baby away from the commoner's arms. The woman tried to protest, but Cersei was already walking away towards the railing of the ship.
"Wait, Your Grace, please don't!" Ellyn cried out when she saw Cersei's intentions. She wanted to throw the bastard overboard and let him drown in the Narrow Sea, or allow the sea monsters to eat him. She had never ever desired so much to get rid of a human being, except that time when she plotted her husband's death.
"It is all your fault..." she hissed full of hate, not looking at she baby as she approached the railing and extended her arms, still holding the babe. "If it weren't for you, if you didn't exist... you who're mother and your traitor father wouldn't have come back. They would have never sought out the Targaryen girl, and I wouldn't have had to flee! I hate you..." she clenched her jaw to the point where it became painful, but she didn't care. She could just focus on her hate and her grief, and on how much she wanted to make Sansa Stark suffer. The only way that she could think of doing that right now was to kill the person that was the reason why the girl had travelled half around the world to get an army and ruin Cersei's life.
She was about to throw the baby overboard, she was ready for it... But then she lowered her gaze, and her eyes met the babe's.
They were wide open and staring right back at her. They were Tully blue, and for a moment Cersei felt like it was Sansa Stark staring back at her, instead of her bastard infant.
She remembered then Joffrey's plans for that child. He was like his mother, but he also strongly resembled his father. They only had to put a little effort into him, and make sure that he grew up with the useful characteristics of the Clegane men...
Being out the monster.
Cersei forgot all about her desire of throwing the child overboard. She held him with more care in her arms, and a sky smile appeared on her face.
"Yes..." she murmured as her plans for the future started evolving in her mind. "You will be my revenge... You, little Sanjay."
She turned around and walked away from the railing of the ship, approaching Ellyn again; the woman was watching in terror, not knowing what the Queen was going to do with the child. But Cersei had other intentions, she didn't want to harm the little bastard... Not at that moment, at least.
"When the time comes, you will destroy the Starks for me, Sanjay."
Without another word, she have the babe to Ellyn, who took him and walked away from the Queen as fast as she could. Cersei watched the commoner woman taking the bastard away, and she saw the infant was still staring at her with his big, Tully blue eyes. Instead of being bothered by those eyes, for the first time Cersei felt happy.
Oh, Sansa..., she thought. One day I will come back, and I will bring your son back to you... And you will wish that that day had never come. You will wish that he had never been born.
