A/N: And…This is randomness. And when I say random, I mean COMPLETELY and UTTERLY randomized randomness! Now, I don't know why I decided to just…spew random thoughts on Finny…It just sort of happened…I feel like he has a lot to say, especially about Bard. And so this was born. I hope you like it. I will continue to work on True Transition…writer's block sucks, let me tell you…

Disclaimer: I do not own Black Butler. I am not making a profit of any kind by writing this ff. I only created it so that my little lovelies have something to do and procrastinate with when they're supposed to be studying, lol…

Chapter One

Everybody loves Sebastian Michaelis, the Wonder-Butler…

Everybody that is, except me.

Now, mind you, I found it quite ridiculous when Mey-Rin (bless her heart) pulled me aside one day in the drawing room to tell me about her infatuation with said butler. I knew about her feelings, only because she's not very good at keeping things like that to herself. She was very cute about it, though. And I had confirmed with her that I was not bothered by it, and that if she never needed my assistance getting him alone with her, I'd do my best. Whatever to get him out of hair, I say…

And I always knew Ciel, the Young Master himself, had had a soft spot in his heart for the older male. Which….was quite odd, if you asked me. The way he was always demanding to be alone with him made me question the Master's sanity. Who'd want to hang around with that red-eyed demon? Figuratively speaking, I mean.

And whenever Grell came around, he never was one to hide his adoration. Him and Mey-Rin would always gravitate towards each other to gossip…

Countless others liked looking at the butler, too. Male and female alike. Whenever the (rare) occasion arose when the whole Phantomhive would venture out to London at once, I couldn't help but pick up on by-stander's wandering eyes. And on everyone's moods; especially the Young Master's. Obviously, he isn't one to handle jealousy well.

Just like me, which brings me to the biggest dilemma.

Now, whatever; I'm fine with said people up above liking Sebastian, but what gets me…what ABSOLUTELY blows my socks off…is that…

This is very hard for me to admit, even without spoken words. I feel a little feverish every time his name is mentioned, and I can't stop the tips of my ears from turning pink. I…I've felt this way about Bard for a long time, but have no real explanation for it. Is it not morally incorrect for me to feel for him what I should for women? And, why? Why do I feel this way? I know that I spend a lot of time with him, and that he actually pays me attention unlike others…

I guess I'm just confused now. And I know what I feel is fruitless because he could never return my affection. Ever. These thoughts are far above him; he probably has some lady-friend I'm not aware of…

I will, though, not burn Sebastian in effigy. He saved me, yes, took me from that horrible place…But other than that, I owe him nothing.

People can like Sebastian, idolize him, even. I'm not kidding when I say that I really don't care. But…But I draw the line when…

…Bard. I cannot STAND for that…

I'll admit it, I'm JEALOUS! I, Finnian, am guilty of those thoughts. It just pisses me off beyond belief to see…to hear…

I discovered their secret meetings in the kitchen by accident one dreary day at the manor. I had just walked in from the foliage of the garden, looking for a snack. I figured Bard would be in there, which was kind of an added bonus. Just a quick hello, no longer than 5 minutes, I promised myself…I would not let my eyes wander too much…

Right as I was about to turn the door handle, I heard voices coming from behind it. That…made me concerned. I hadn't put two and two together that he was with Sebastian. I figured it was that lady he kept talking about in his sleep. Yeah. It's hard to share a bedroom with the boy of your dreams, I tell you…Especially when you yourself are thinking not-so-innocent thoughts about the person to your left…

I take it back. It wasn't exactly voices I heard; more like laughter. And not Bard's laughter, either. Foreign sounding giggling. A male, no doubt. Now I had to know.

When I pushed the door in and stepped forward, I was greeted by Sir Black-Attire himself, sitting in a chair, looking like he wasn't about to leave anytime soon. Bard was on the other side of the counter, frying something up in a skillet. Both of them were smiling like they were in on some insider.

"Uh…Sorry, I…I was jus' hungry and…" I sputtered out stupidly.

Sebastian had acknowledged me with a glance when I had first come in, sensing that I was there, but once I spoke, and I could tell by Bard's expression that he hadn't known I was there. "Oi! Finny! Hungry, are ye'? If ye' wait a minute longer, I can give ye' some of whatever I'm makin'." He held up a bowl of mixture he had most recently stirred. I felt ill all of a sudden.

"Oh, no. I think I'm intruding. I'll just…take a biscuit or something. Don't be concerned wit' me, Bard." Was I blushing? Judging by Sebastian's smirk, I must've. He looked absolutely smitten with himself, sitting there with his legs crossed.

Bard looked disappointed. "C'mon, Finn. I made those biscuits two days ago. They must taste like petrified coach stuffin' by now. Lemme cook you up somethin' real quick." That was an order, not a request.

But after a moment, I could sense Bard's change of posture. He looked up to Sebastian, and with his eyes seemed to ask 'Oh, is that okay, Sebastian? That Finny just joins in?' Like he had a right to say if could stay in the kitchen or not! The audacity!
Sebastian merely nodded, and with bright red eyes, beckoned me closer.

I took a seat next to him on a separate stool, grumbling to myself. "I'm really am not intruding though, am I?" I asked as a side thought, my voice sounding meek even to me.

Bard hadn't the time to respond before Sebastian spoke. "Oh, Finnian. No. Not at all. I was just chatting with Bardroy whilst he was busy making the Young Master a post-luncheon treat. Macaroons, you said? Or shortcake?"

Bard shrugged. "Why not both?"

"Good answer." Sebastian examined his gloves carelessly, then sniffled. "No, you were not intruding. Mindless chatter was all we were taken part in. But, may I ask, why are you here when you should be outside tending to the garden, Finnian?" He flashed me a devious smile, and I just…I just knew that he knew about me. I hated those types of people; who assume they know you without really getting the whole story…and they're usually spot on about how you're actually feeling…Oh, he just drives me crazy!
"Well, sir. Like I mentioned to Bard, I was nearly famished-"

"You don't really exert yourself too often." Sebastian countered. "How can one be so famished as you say when all they do is take shears to hedges?"

He was actually trying to blow my top off, wasn't he? Get me riled up for no reason! What did he have to prove, huh?

"Well…I didn't eat much for breakfast…" I felt myself retreat slowly. Sebastian always made me feel inadequate like this.

All the while, Bard had stopped cracking eggs to eye us both, looking perplexed. He puffed his lips out and expelled some breath. "I told ye' to eat more, Finny. Ye' never listen now do ye'?"

Bard HAD told me this morning to eat something, but…We were alone in our room together, and he was changing and I was so flustered by his bare chest that I wasn't really listening and…

"I…I know. Thank you, Bard. You always feed me so well." I added with a smile, which seemed to change the atmosphere. Sebastian went back to peering at the granite tabletop, and all was silent.

Bard had gone against what he had said and made a decadent flourless chocolate cake for Young Master. He hadn't enough ingredients to make me my own, and although the Young Master would never be able to eat all that Bard had made, it was improper for me to eat from his portion. Bard, though, insisted on curbing my hunger pains and had conjured up some fry-bread, which I ate happily.

Sebastian left shortly after I had eaten to take the cake and a spot of tea up to the drawing room, which left me with no choice but to return to the garden. I sighed and placed my hat back on, turning my back to Bard. I wondered if the numbers on my neck were visible. Although I was still rather insecure about the whole thing still, I hoped he could see them. Maybe he'd be reminded how strong of a person I really was.

"Thank you, Bard." I mumbled before walking towards the door. He called to me before I could leave, making me stop in the door frame.

"Finny, tonight…" He bit his lip and looked down, gently shaking out his bangs with a swift flick of the head. "I…Come to bed tonight early, okay? Ye' were out in the garden for far too long yesterday…I don't think you slept well…"

I nearly melted right there. So, he did care about my well-being? I just nodded and smiled. "Sure thing, Bard. See you then!" I gave him a childish wink and bounded out of the kitchen, feeling elated. I loved it when Bard got like that; all insecure and cute. When he actually showed you he cared was a side I rarely saw of him. I figured he meant it in a brotherly way…Or maybe, I had had a bad dream last night and I had woken him? Whatever the reason, I was just glad that he seemed to be interested or at least concerned with how many hours I was sleeping.

The rest of the day, I concentrated hard on the upkeep of the garden. I made sure I kept track of the time, keeping my promise to Bard. By the time 6:30 rolled around, I knew I was done. He most likely already had supper on the table, and I was yet again starving. I took off my gloves and shoved them in my pockets, wiping my brow with the back of my hand as I walked back towards the house.

Halfway there, I heard my name being called. I quickly spun around to see the source of the voice, and to my horror, I saw Sebastian nonchalantly strolling over to me from the orchard. Hadn't I just been over there? How come I hadn't seen him? Had he been spying on me, the bastard?

"Finnian. May I have a word for just a moment, please? In the orchard?"

"Y-yes, Sebastian. R-Right there, sir!" I called loudly back to him, meeting him halfway there in a jog. In that time, I had forgotten about what Bard had said.

"Good." Sebastian nearly whispered, smiling just for me. "Do not worry, Finny. You are in not in trouble, or anything of that sort. I just wish to talk."

"Like you did with Bard?" I spat a little too abrasively. I just couldn't help myself, sorry.

He seemed taken aback by that. Instead of answering like I thought he would, he started up a steady pace back towards the trees. "Well, it's funny you mention Bard. This little discussion has everything to do with him, actually." He gave me a flickering smirk, then turned his eyes back to the freshly cut grass. "I've been observing his behavior."

"Oh?" What else was I supposed to say? I found it increasingly hard to keep up with him. It must've been my short legs; I couldn't keep up stride. For someone who wanted to talk, he sure didn't seem like he wanted to stick around with me.

"Yes. It's very strange, you know."

"What is?"

"That he hasn't seemed to pick up on your infatuation…" He chuckled darkly and reached out a hand to gently tap my shoulder. That was…odd, if you asked me…Being touched by Sebastian…

But, then I realized what he was saying, and that sent a new wave of panic coursing through me.

"Infatu-f-f-atuation…Whatever are you talking' 'bout, Sebastian?" I stuttered, unconvincingly proving that what I was saying was true. "Whatever made you think that, huh?"

Instead of answering my questions, he stopped walking. He turned to face me and put a hand out to my chest. "We, together, will get him to like you, Finnian. I can promise you that."

"WHAT?!"

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "You heard me."

"B-B-But…But I don't WANT to be ye' pet project, Sebastian!" I threw my hands up in the air. "Can't ye' see that?"

Sebastian gave me the worst death glare ever and groaned. "Listen to me well, Finnian. I want to help you and prove to you that I am not as bad as I see, alright? I know how you feel about me-"

"HOW?!"

"That's beside the point. I want to assist you in making the man you want want you back. I don't help people very often, and I think you know that. So. Your choice. Either, I assist you and make you happy…or you can go on with your hidden discomfort, stealing glances when he's changing and trying to start conversations about garden gnomes with him. Which would you prefer?"

Believe it or not, this was a hard decision to make. I was torn between taking him up on his offer, finally letting Bard know how I felt about him…Oh, the bliss. It was hard to fathom a world in which my affection would no longer need to be concealed…

But, what I had right now wasn't unbearable. I could survive with him not knowing. Especially since I didn't know how he was going to react to it in the first place. Better to be liked (not loved) by him than hated.

But...Sebastian was a rare case. The Wonder Butler. And I knew he wouldn't abandon me halfway through. The only bad part about saying yes would be that I'd have to owe him something large…like my life or something…

"Alrigh', alrigh'…Yes, Sebastian. Please…Please help me in getting…Bard to like me…"

Sebastian grinned and clasped his white-gloved hands together. "Very well." He said darkly. "Very, very well."