Hi all!

This is my non-canon version of the Chryed storyline that people have asked for alongside my canon version ('The Way I Love You')

I have no idea where I'm going to take this one, I think I'm just gonna see how it rolls.

I'm gonna rate it as M, just because it will more than likely end up with them getting it on sooner or later!

Hope you like it!

xoxoxo


Syed POV:

I threw my suitcase into the back of the cab and turned to hug Tamwar goodbye. I knew that he didn't want me to go, and I knew that my dad didn't want me to go either, but I had to get away from this place, and all of the memories which came with it. Roxy was right; it wasn't fair, on me or on Christian. It wasn't doing either of us much good, being around one another all the time. We both needed to move on, and there was no chance of us doing that when we were constantly bumping into one another. I had tried, I really had tried. But since I'd moved back home, I'd had to put up with my mother's snide comments, and Roxy was still hostile towards me, along with half the Square. Besides, Roxy was right. Everytime Christian saw me, it knocked him back. He had been trying hard with Alex, but I knew that he wasn't fully happy with him, not with me living around the corner.

"I don't want you to go..." Tamwar's voice broke through my thoughts. I turned back to him, knowing that I couldn't allow the expression on his face to change my mind.

"I know you don't, Tambo. But, let's face it, mum's never going to accept me the way I am. Half the Square's turned against me, the man I - " I stopped in my tracks with a sigh. I couldn't believe I was saying this, not to my brother.

"Syed? Are you alright?" His voice was laced with concern.

"I can't do it, Tambo," I shook my head, as though it could make my feelings disappear. "I can't not love him. Christian. No matter what I do. I just can't..." I turned to face my brother, expecting a look of hatred, or disgust at the very least. But all I saw was love and understanding.

"Who you are...who you love...it doesn't make you any worse of a person, not to me. You're just Syed; you'll always just be Syed. My big brother who sometimes makes the wrong decision, but always tries to make things right."

I pulled him in for another hug, my eyes shining from my tears. All of the support which I expected from my mother was being given to me from my baby brother.

"Thank you, Tambo. It means a lot, really. But it's not gonna change my mind. I need to get away for a while, clear my head, you know?"

He nodded as I released him, and I got into the cab before he could say anything else which would also change my mind. I waved goodbye to him from the window as the cab pulled away, knowing that he would try to keep my family together as much as he possibly could. I looked out of the window as the cab made it's way down Bridge Street. As we passed through Turpin Road, my gaze automatically fell to Christian's flat. My mind automatically flashed back to some of the times we had shared together in there. I couldn't believe that I had just revealed to my brother, of all people, that I was still in love with him. But it was true. No matter how much I tried not to be, no matter how many times I prayed to Allah, I couldn't stop loving him. In my heart, that was all I wanted. My heart never wanted me to stop loving him. My head, however, needed me to stop loving him. It was the classic heart vs. head debate, and I didn't know which one I wanted to win.


Christian POV:

I was sat in the Vic, an hour-old drink in my hand, my head all over the place. I had ended it all with Alex; it was never going to work with him. I was still hung up on Syed, and as much as my mind wanted me to fall for Alex, me heart wouldn't let me. He wasn't Syed, and my heart screamed in protest everytime we touched. Syed was part of my heart and soul, just like I was a part of his, even if he did refuse to admit it.

"Penny for 'em?" I looked up to see Roxy looking back at me, full of concern. I knew that she hated to see me like this, but I just couldn't help myself. It was as though the pain was a way fo keeping myself sane. Of reminding me of how much I had given up when I told Syed that I never wanted to see him again.

"I ended it with Alex," I wasn't planning on telling her so soon, but I knew that she'd drag it out of me eventually anyway. "Oh, don't look at me like that!"

"Christian! He was good for you! What happened?" I sighed, knowing what her reaction would be.

"He's not him, Rox..."

She sighed, turning from me and handing me a vodka.

"Here. Dull your aching heart." I grinned slightly, taking it from her and dowing it in one.

"Pathetic, isn't it? You'd think I'd be over it by now. Over him," I sighed. "It's been week, Rox." I was tired of feeling this way. I was tired of having to fake each smile, each laugh. I was tired of wearing that carefully composed mask, and feeling it slip each time I saw his face, heard his voice, or heard his name.

"If you love him, you do. You can't just switch it off, Christian." She was right. I knew she was. I couldn't just stop loving him. I couldn't turn off my feelings for him, and I couldn't ignore them either, no matter how hard I tried.

"So, I'm just doomed to unhappiness, is that it?" I had asked myself the same question over and over again, and I hadn't come up with an answer. "I'm left holding a torch for a man whose mother won't let him go? How much gayer could this get?" I laughed. Me, Christian Clarke, self-confessed gay-boy was being made to suffer in the most gay way imaginable. Left to pine for a man who couldn't be brave enough to leave his mother's nest.

"Stop it, OK?" Roxy brought me back to reality, and I realised how much my behaviour had affected her recently. "Don't do that self indulgent queen thing. It's time for you to move on, Christian," I sighed, knowing that she was right, but still unsure of where to start. "Syed was the past. Alex, well, he should have been the future. From now on, you need to look to the future. Deal?" I sighed, not answering her before I got up and left. I knew what my answer was going to be, and I knew that she wouldn't like it.

I took a deep breath as I left the Vic, trying to get my head straight. Unfortunately, it wasn't my head I wanted to listen to. I knew how much I had suffered at the hands of Syed's family, but I also knew that he wasn't responsible for any of it. When Amira's father had first beaten me up, I had been so ready to blame Syed, telling myself that if he hadn't married Amira in the first place, then none of this would have happened. But, over time, my head had clearer, and I had realised that none of this was Syed's fault. Amira's father would have come after me no matter when the secret had come out. Unfortunately, by that time, I had already told Syed that I never wanted to see him again. I took a deep breath, listening to my heart for the first time in weeks, months even. My heart was almost broken from the amount of times I had ignored it. With every beat it was there, and I knew what I needed to do. Thump - Syed - Thump - Syed - Thump - Syed...It was never ending, and I knew that it never would end if I kept ignoring it like I had been doing. Before my head could intervene, I ran down Bridge Street and Turpin Road, almost flinging myself into the door of Syed's flat. I had to know. If there was no way we could get back together, it might make it easier for me to make a fresh start, to move on.

"Syed!" I pounded on his door, yelling his name before leaping backwards and looking up at his window. There was no movement from inside the flat, and everything was dark. "Syed!" He couldn't be gone, he just couldn't -

And then I remembered. He had moved home. I had heard the gossip that someone had saw him lugging some black bags back to Masood's. I ran back down Bridge Street, almost knocking Tamwar over in my hurry.

"Sorry, Tam!" I made to leave, but he yelled after me.

"In a hurry, Christian?"

"Actually, yeah...Where's your brother?"

"He's...er..."

"Tam?"

"He's gone, Christian. He left town." I couldn't believe it. I felt my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces as I realised that I had blown it for good. Without another word to him, I fled back down Turpin Road, yelling his name the whole way. It was over. My heart had lost and my head had won. My head had been so ignorant of the needs of my heart, and now it was too late to make it see sense. My head could feel the pain of my heart now, and it was deeply regretting how it had made me act.

"Syed!" I gave one last strangled cry as I fell to my knees outside my flat, letting the anguish and the tears wash over me. I heard someone standing behind me, but I couldn't make myself turn to face them. I knew it would only be Tamwar or Roxy, trying to console me, or, worse, Zainab, gloating at me once again.

"Christian?"


Thought I'd leave you with a nice little cliffhanger!

Who do you want it to be behind him? Who do you think it will be?

Let me know your thoughts!

xoxoxo