AU: No sburb

A/N: My headcanon is that Jake lives on Cocos Island, it's off the coast of Costa Rica. It's my headcanon for him because it's an uninhabited, jungle-covered island in the pacific. Perfect, right? Also, I'm sorry for OOCness I just had this idea and I had to.

I don't own homestuck, no matter how much I wish I did.

1,752.3 miles. That's how far away your boyfriend lives. You'd never even met him. Hugged him. Kissed him. You'd been dating for almost a year, and have known each other for four, but you've never seen his face without the grainy quality the webcam and his shitty internet produce. Normally, you can live with that. You can wait until you're eighteen, and you can go visit him. Your bro won't let you go to some uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean and he's too afraid to tell his grandma he has a boyfriend, and that she'll never have grandchildren. He may be a bit daft, but he knows that being gay, while not as bad now, was a taboo in her youth, and she might not be as accepting, especially given her distance from the rest of humanity.

Normally, you're okay with this, or you can at least hide it. Normally, you just keep your emotions in check behind your shades, and he can't see what you're feeling, but today is different. Know why? Because it's Valentine's day. And no matter how much you try to hide it, or how much you hate yourself for it, you love the idea of Valentine's day.

Completely unironically.

You'd never tell anyone this, because if your bro found out, you'd never hear the end of it. You'd only told Roxy, and that's only because she literally drilled you about your feelings for this day about a year go. Your bro would be especially cruel given the fact that there is no possible way you can see your boyfriend today. Because, as you pointed out earlier, he lives 1,752.3 miles away. In the middle of a goddamn ocean.

And you hate it.

You look out the window of the plane, traveling over Mexico, and wonder if he'll want to see you.

Jake hasn't messaged you all day. He'd said good morning, but that he had to go, he was doing something with his grandma today, and left again before you'd even woken up. Not only can you not see him, but you can't even talk to him today. You're bored out of your mind. Maybe you'll go work on some robotics, just to keep your mind off of him.

Will he take off his shades for you? He'd never done that before

You're glad AR is leaving you alone today. He knows everything about you, and you think you'd just lose it if he started teasing you too. At least you can finally get around to updating Sawtooth. His rap skills are getting outdated and you need to introduce him to everything that's happened in the world in the past year, so he can get to rapping about Steve Jobs' death and Justin Beiber being a total dick.

You've landed. You get off the plane and head to the doorway. Roxy had told you how to do this. She'd told you how to hail a cab, and given you the address to give to the driver. She also made sure you brough enough cash to pay for this.

Sawtooth is updated. If you weren't so bummed out right now, you'd turn him on and get into it.

Alright. That was a really bad choice in words. But you really don't care.

You're standing at the door. You have a bouquet of roses, Roxy told you he'd love those. You knock on the door. His bro opens and asks your name. You tell him, and he raises both of his eyebrows, and asks 'how the fuck did you get here?' You tell him this is a surprise and ask if you can see him. He nods and opens the door wider, telling you where to go.

Bro is knocking on your door. Nevermind, he's opening it.

"Bro. I'm not in the mood. Get out." You hear someone's breath hitch. Bro doesn't do that. Who knows maybe he found some awesome beats on his phone or something.

"Bro, I'm serious."

"Strider?" That's not Bro. That sound's suspiciously like… no. It couldn't be. Could it? Stop thinking and just turn around and check. So you do.

And you stare. God, do you stare. Because this man, standing in front of you, was your boyfriend Jake English. Who's SUPPOSED to be 1,752.3 miles away from you right now, but seems to be less than 10 feet away instead.

He's tanner than you thought he was, but that was probably just his shitty webcam acting up. He was surprisingly small and unmuscular for someone who does as much adventuring as he says he does. Definitely not as tall as you. His hair is crazy but together at the same time, and you doubt the fact that he needs his glasses given how scratched up they are. He's wearing khaki shorts, a white tee shirt with some sort of skull logo, and a green button-up that he left unbuttoned, as per usual if you're to believe what he says. He has on black sneakers and seems to be missing his guns.

"Why don't you have your guns?" Shit. Shit shit shit shit. You've never met the guy, he's your boyfriend, and it's valentines day, and THAT'S the first thing you say? He seems to think the same thing, but instead of being angry, he just laughs.

"Dirk!" he says, red faced and obviously trying not to double over laughing, "I come all this way to see you, on Valentine's Day no less, and that's the first thing you say! Golly, you're too much!" You turn red.

"Well excuse me for wondering about something you seem to always have with you not being there." You try to glare at him, but it's hard.

"TSA took them. Said I was a 'terrorist threat' or some malarkey like that." At this, you were the one laughing.

"English, you tried to bring guns on a plane? Oh my god they must have been terrified. You're gonna be on the terrorist watch list for like ever now. Better get ready for full body searches at the airport." You said, while trying not to double over.

"Shut it Strider." he said as he punched you on the shoulder. Wow when did he get so close to you. You stood up, being a good 3 inches taller than him, and looked down at him. Oh god, he's so close, what do you do you're gonna fuck this up so badly. You're probably going to say something trying to be seductive and he'll be all weirded out. Okay. Say something cute, and not creepy, and not likely to make him leave.

"Make me, English." Goddammit.

"And how am I supposed to do that Strider?" he says, sporting a smirk to match your bro when he wins the strifes. To hell with impressing him, if he hasn't left yet, he's not going to.

"I have an idea," you say, going in to kiss him for the first time ever.

It's just as perfect as you imagined it would be.