title: ClockWork
pairing: SasuSaku, possible others
notes: AU…might be fun to write
disclaimer: …..uh. Yeah…I think it's pretty obvious I don't own Naruto….duh.
i.wake up
When it happened, I wasn't ready for it. At all.
I expected it as much as I would expect to win some Miss World Pageant. Which obviously is a negative one hundred percent chance that something like that would ever happen to me.
So when my mother died, I reacted like when a deer is in the headlights of a semi truck: dumb and staying frozen.
Mind you while receiving the news I was in a pair of Jimmy Choo's that probably deformed my toes and lent me the posture of early man, therefore making me even more morally revolting as a daughter than I already am.
Now, no, my day did not start out with this horrifying piece of information.
At ten in the morning I sat in bed reading Persuasion, sipping at chocolate milk with a cool twisty straw in it, not wanting to go to work and above all trying to come up with an excuse why I would be four hours late to work in the first place.
When I got to work Tsunade looked angrier than usual and like she wanted to skin me alive.
What excuse did I come up with for my late arrival? My (non-existant…I'm on the verge of pathetic…not quite there yet) boyfriend dumped me and I needed the morning to make sure I wasn't pregnant.
And what always happens when I lie? People believe me.
"Sakura we all know that every woman has troubles like yours but it isn't an excuse to be very late to your job. I need you to pick up nine cups of coffee for our conference meeting, which is in half an hour and I need you to copy that folder over there full of next months ideas. If you don't do that don't be surprised if someone else is at your desk tomorrow. Hurry up! What are you standing there for? You only have thirty minutes to do all of this!"
Unfortunately I am normally met with this greeting every weekday of my life. It's getting almost routinely. The only reply I can come up with is "Okay." so she won't yap at me some more.
I actually kind of idolize her attitude and bossiness. I mean, I don't idolize the fact that many people hate her, but all the confidence, yes.
By the time I get back with simmering hot coffee in my arms the conference meeting has already started and I feel like a waitress setting down coffee and papers in peoples spots.
I don't feel like my job is ridiculous. The working hours can be a little ridiculous, but other than that I at least get some freedom.
The lucky job I have graced my presence with is(drum roll) journalism.
Yes, writing has captured my heart.
Although it's mainly about fashion, cosmetics, health and so and so, I still get to voice my opinion through my writing. Very interesting. I am definitely not ready nor am I skilled enough to become a full-fledged writer.
By the time the conference meeting was over it was three forty and I was getting ready to go home and buy some cat food for Tubby, my cat. Tubby's mouth could probably cover my entire fist and he weighs more than I did in third grade (That's obviously why he's called Tubby).
"Sakura will you wait a second? Hinata says there's a call for you. She's at her desk I think." Tenten called, picking up the phone on her desk and pushing a number.
Quickly, I picked up my tote and headed for where Hinata was.
"There's a call for me Hinata?" I say, standing beside her desk.
When she looks up her expression makes me want to stand there and say nothing. It's obviously bad news but I do not want to know about it. Like those moments where you're not sure if you should comfort the person (even though you really don't know how to) or just shut up.
"Y-Yes?" I squeak out nervously. "What's wrong?"
Her eyes are filled with tears and she shakes her head. "Sakura, I…I'm so sorry. Your mother…your mother is dead."
What?
Hinata's words float around me like clouds. Not fully penetrating my skull, which is pretty thick.
"What?" My voice sounds funny. Like it's the first time I've ever heard myself speak.
"Your mother is dead." Hinata's voice cracks two times throughout the entire sentence.
My mother is dead. My mum. My mummy. My mummy. But…but she wasn't dead yesterday. How can my mother be dead? Dead is old other people like Jerry Lewis, and people from the 1920's. It doesn't happen to me. Or my parents. Or anyone that I know.
"Wha-What? When?" My mouth is like jell-o that's been out for longer than two days. Hinata looks worse than I do. And this isn't even her mother!
Breaking any sort of bad news to anyone is like purgatory for Hinata. When she told me that she just stopped by my flat to drop off some food and found Tubby underneath my sofa and my brand new curtains found torn in shreds, she panicked and ran out to go buy new curtains that looked exactly like the ones I had, she was stuttery and full of panic with the stress of prior knowledge.
But this is entirely different. "I-I, I'm so sorry! I tried to call you but your mobile was off and you were in the meeting and I was afraid that if I bothered you I'd be fired and I tried to tell you as soon as possible but Lady Tsunade wouldn't let me into the conference room so I started tapping on the window but you didn't seem to notice and then I couldn't find you after you got out of the meeting! I'm so sorry Sakura! And apparently your mother is at the hospital right now! They said a car hit her! I'm so sorry!" All of this was barely comprehensible because of the fast pace Hinata was talking in, and as she was saying all of this a large fleck of spit lands on my cheek. I try to nonchalantly wipe it off without her noticing.
I probably look like a shocked goldfish.
My hands are shaking now. But I'm not crying. I'm in shock.
Hinata insists on taking me to the hospital just to see my mother.
But I don't want to see my mother dead. I want to see her alive. Talking. Smiling.
Hinata drives into the parking lot and I hop out before the car is even parked, hobbling into the lobby with shoes that I've decided are only meant to be looked at, and start rambling to the first uninformed nurse I see. The man nurse sends me to the Emergency Room, having no idea what I'm talking about, and I panic.
I hate hospitals.
Sure they help people, but they also put them in an enormous amount of pain, and there's no guarantee that anyone with a serious problem comes out alive.
Like my mother.
When I get into her hospital room (after peeking into every other hospital room and asking if my mum is in there) her eyes are shut and there's a doctor and a nurse in the room. Hinata comes in after me a while later and grabs my arm, giving it a small squeeze. My grandma is there too, sitting in a small, dainty looking chair that she seems uncomfortable in. Ino's mother is there as well, her eyes swollen and red.
For some reason I'm not crying. I don't understand why I'm not. I love my mother dearly. Without her my world is like a landslide.
"Wh-When did she die?" I breathe out.
Mrs. Yamanaka walks towards me and tries to embrace me in an awkward pat back hug. "Your mother was driving and I was in the car with her. We were heading to the Dulceria Amor and then a car had rushed in and hit us from the front. Your mother …she died from the impact of the airbag on the steering wheel. I…"
I gaze at my Nana. Her eyes are saggy and her lips are pursed so tightly together that it looks like she doesn't have lips at all. Kind of like an angry fish. I feel a form of pity in my chest for her but know better than to voice it. As always, my Nana converts her sadness into a form of harassment. And this time the victim is the uninformed male nurse who just happened to walk in.
"Your hair is much too long, it makes you look like a young woman. And what are you wearing?" Is one of her kinder observations.
She doesn't look at me. Not once. But I know it's because she doesn't want to cry. Everyone says I'm the spitting image of my mother.
Everything feels odd and unreal. Or like I'm out of place.
My mother is supposed to be at home. Sipping tea with her 'proper' friends. Yelling at me to actually have breakfast because it's a necessary meal.
Mothers and fathers are just there, constant.
I ask the male nurse to please get me a glass of water to help him escape the wrath of my Nana.
He leaps out the door and says "Not a problem!"
At times I feel sorry for my Nana because she hardly finds anything in life to smile about. She's not one of those grandma's who's always jolly and has plump legs and seems to smile about everything and always makes you cookies whenever you come over, or no going through yellowy green crackly photo albums of the 'old days'. She's the complete opposite. Whenever my mum would talk about her she'd say, "Your grandmother's had a pretty hard life."
What old person hasn't though? There's no need to be a cranky old goat about it.
I don't recognize my mum until I stare at her for five minutes.
While I am mute with complete and utter shock I notice my mother has dried drool on her bottom lip.
Another nurse (female this time. Now my grandma can't criticize that much) comes in and explains what happened internally.
"You mum is dead." Surprise! Then she explains in the vocabulary of a four year old what happened to her body. Could've been a heart attack. Kidneys failing. Ribs are cracked. No magical crystal ball.
I grab my mother's cold and lifeless hand and try to repress a loud cry that I know will sound like an ostrich in pain by nearly biting my lip off.
My mother is dead. She died in the Leisure Hour. Where there's nice weather and everyone is out walking their dog, playing in the park, or riding their stupid colorful bicycles. At four o nine pm.
Today had seemed beautiful but my mother is dead.
A/N: Well I didn't want the ending to be this sad but I knew how I was going to start this story. Now no, this story will not be some angsty thing because as you can see I tried to add humor here and there. But no really you guys, death is a pretty damn sad thing.
Oh and Sasuke will show up in the next chapter. I think.
Ok…so…uhhh… how would you lovelies like to push that very fine and attractive review button? Hmm? Sounds nice right?
