With My Heart,
She Stole My Mind
~Taya J Weasley~
I can't believe that I was able to make the biggest mistake of my life in under the time span of 3 hours... I really wish that I could turn back time and redo all of this day again, just to change what happened, but I know that I can't. I can't fix what I've done, I can't fix my mistakes and I can't fix my heart. No matter what I say or do now, it won't work, it can't save me now. It was stupid of me from the beginning, I knew that I should have said no from the start, but there was something pressuring me, something pulling me, something making me agree. It's all so confusing right now, I can barely think with this whirlwind in my mind... Not that I want to rethink of the dumb stuff I just did...
** ** **
Morning was never a good time for 16 year old Ron Weasley, and today was no exception. He grumbled as he opened his eyes to find a stream of sunlight in his face. He groaned as he moved to get out of bed and heard all his joints pop from the motionless sleep he had, but forced his body to move nevertheless.
"Thank god it's Saturday..." He whispered to himself as he tripped on a shoe and nearly fell. He made his way to the showers, only to find them all in use, so he decided he'd take one that night.
The past week wasn't good for Ron, because he was in a fight with his girlfriend, Hermione Granger. Ever since they got together (the end of 4th year summer break) things had been running smoothly, that was until they had one particular crazy Hogsmeade {sp?} Trip.
They had met a girl from England who was visiting Hogsmeade for a short time (vacation with parents for a month she said) and quickly grown attached to Harry and Ron equally. She spent the every weekend she could with them that month, and it started to annoy all of them...except for Ron. He, on the other hand, was having quite a splendid time with their new friend, and talked with her almost more then Harry or Hermione.
This was not a good sign, Harry suspected, but there was nothing he could do about it. He tried telling Ron subtly, but then was yelled at because Ron thought he was accusing him of attempting to cheat on Hermione, ("What kind of bastard do you take me for?!") So Harry decided to let learn on his own... Big mistake.
It seemed that their friend, Raginny Adams, was developing (or starting to show more) feelings towards Ron. She did everything in her power to get him away from Hermione, ("Please, I just need some advise,") even though she knew very well that they were together. But it wasn't until Raginny got some nerves, and confronted Ron about her "feelings" for him face-to-face the next day.
I don't know what I was thinking really, I mean honestly- like she would "just" want to talk over a "private" late lunch. I am a complete and total idiot... Now that I think back on it, she might have gotten the idea that I had feelings for her simply because I'm a nice person... I wish she were as dense as me and didn't see that.
When Ron suspected something was wrong, and saw the frustration and annoyance on Hermione's face, he asked her what was the matter.
"The matter is, that she has something for you!" Hermione nearly wailed, but kept her voice quiet.
"Hermione, I would never go for her you know that," Ron replied hastily.
"Listen," Hermione stared at the floor, "I know that you enjoy spending time with her, and I'm glad that you've made a friend, and that you have fun together," she looked up at him with tired eyes, "but I can also see that there is or can be something between you..." Ron opened his mouth to reply, but Hermione cut him off. "I know- I know, just go, see what you feel Ron, go see what she makes you feel..." And she turned walked briskly away. Ron stood there shocked with an open mouth. Did she just tell me to go on a DATE with Raginny??? That's- Ron stopped his thinking right then, being with anyone else but Hermione was impossible for him, so he didn't see the harm in a free lunch...
Raginny asked Ron to have late lunch with her, and wore her best outfit for the occasion. He walked in alone, just as she had asked him to. He looked around, and smiled when he saw her, and sat down across the table from her.
"Hey, Raginny, what's up?" He asked, as he reached for a butterbeer that she had already ordered.
"Nothing much, I just wanted to talk." She smiled sweetly, and saw Ron sip at his drink and smile back. She waited for him to set his drink back down, and then saw him look a bit uncomfortable.
"So, erm-, what should we talk about?"
"Well, we is a very good subject don't you think Ron?" He looked confused, and she laughed slightly. "I think so."
"Raginny...there is no "we" here." He said stupidly, he knew what Hermione was talking about now.
"No, not yet..." she smiled playfully, and saw Ron's annoyed expression. "Listen, I know that you're with Hermione, but I see how much you two fight, and I think that you deserve better then her." Ron opened his mouth- but like earlier, was cut off. "I know that she's a great friend, but she's not girlfriend material, she's just not compatible with you...So come on, let's go have some fun." She grabbed his hand quickly and led him out of the resturant, with untouched (and unpaid for) food still on the table.
That day was, awkward to say the least. The things we did together was fun, we just hung out, told jokes, and I didn't want to admit it, but it was fun. I couldn't let myself have fun with someone else...but I did. And I still feel horrible for it.
"Aren't you having fun?" Raginny asked as they fell to the grass covered floor exhausted from running around.
"Yeah-" Ron paused, "actually I am." He looked away for a moment.
"But you feel guilty about it." Raginny finished for him.
"I do..." He said softly, and then looked back to her, "I'm sorry Raginny, but I just can't leave Hermione like this. I can't leave her at all." He stood up, and she did the same. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, so am I." And she gave him a kiss on the cheek, "I'll be around if you need me." She smiled, "now, go find her." And she nodded, knowing that he really did love Hermione with all of his heart.
Ron didn't need telling twice, and he nodded back, and took off running.
When I got back, I searched the castle for two hours, and I couldn't find her. Desperate, I went to the library again, and wasn't there. Harry was sitting at a table, eating some Bertie Botts and working on potions homework, so I sat in the seat across from him. He didn't look up, but said a brief hi, I knew that he was disappointed in my for seeing Raginny.
"Hermione *told* me to go with her!" I yelled in a whisper.
"I know she probably did, but you weren't supposed to listen." He said, weighing something on a two balance scale.
"What?!"
"Girls talk in code Ron, you need to learn to decode it." He sighed and finally looked up at him. "So, what did you feel? When you were with her I mean."
"I felt..." Ron paused, "I felt...good. I was happy, just fooling around, not caring about anything."
"What are you going to do then? You're going to have to choose." Ron just sighed in response, Harry got an idea and cleared off his two balance beams. "Okay, I ask you a question, and put one beam for the person okay?" Ron looked at him weird. "Who else is going to decide you future? You?" Harry grinned.
"Fine..."
"Good. Now, who are you more comfortable with?" Ron thought for a second and then said Hermione. "Okay, so I put one jelly bean here." And he placed a jelly bean in one side of the balance beam.
"But conversations just flow smoothly with Raginny..." Harry reluctantly dropped a bean in the other side of the beam.
"Who makes you laugh?"
"Raginny, she has a great sense of humor..." Harry dropped a bean on her side.
"But Hermione is just too cute not to make me laugh." Harry happily put a bean down.
"Who do you trust more?" Ron sighed again at this.
"Hermione has told me everything since first year, even when we hated each other." Before Harry could drop a bean he said, "but since we met Raginny has been open with me..." He placed a bean on both sides.
"Very important: who do you see yourself with in the future?"
"Hermione, she's always been there and always will be." Harry happily dropped three beans in for the last one. "But-" Harry looked dejected, "Raginny and I just clicked..." He put three beans on Raginny's side.
"It's a tie. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Harry said getting ready to clear the beans.
"No, this was a great idea." Ron finally looked straight at Harry. "They may both be equal like this, but I realized, Raginny can never compare to Hermione." He smiled, took the bag of Bertie Botts, and placed it on Hermione's side. "There's no competition."
I was so happy at that moment, I finally realized, that there was no one better then Hermione for me. No matter how much we fought, yelled, screamed or cried, we were meant for each other. I thought so, but I don't think she did... I met her in the common room that night at midnight, when I was just staring at the fire, I was glad to see her walk down the stairs. I remember standing up immediately, and I took her hands wordlessly and led her to the couch.
God, Hermione, I am so glad that you came down." Ron said as he sat her down. "There is so much that I need to tell you." He went over the events of the day with her, even though it brought her pain, and it showed on her face. "I'm not going to lie to you, I had a great time. It was fun-" he paused, "but, I couldn't have the best time, because Raginny wasn't you." He cupped her face with one hand, and held hers in the other. "I can't live without you 'Mione, there's no way I could, and I don't want to let you go. I don't want you to be mad at me Hermione, I just want us to stay us, to stay together forever. I can't see my future without you."
"I see..." She said slowly, "is that all you have to say?" She stood up slowly, he had confusion in his eyes. He walked next to her and put his arms around her.
"All I need to say is that I can't live without you. Yes, that's all I have to say." She got out of his grasp.
"Then I need to tell you," she paused and took a breath, "I can't be with you, Ron."
"Wha-what?" He asked confused. She had a tear slide down her cheek. "What do you mean?"
"Do you know how many guys hit on me, Ron? Now that I'm not just a braniac, everyone sees me as something...But I can look past them, because I have you. I never needed to test my love, I knew I would be with you forever." But she looked up at him red in the face, "But you had to test your love, Ron. You did."
"NO! You told me to go out with her Hermione! You told me to!!" He yelled in anger, though quickly subsiding with the look on her face, he softened. "I love you Hermione... I love you."
With one more look at me and a kiss on the cheek, she walked away with no response, back to her dorm. I sat down there until the sun came up, just staring at the smoldering fire. I finally moved and walked up to my own dorm, and closed the covers around me. I couldn't let anyone see me, especially if I was on the verge of tears. That's right, I was crying, I never admit it to anyone of course, but I was. I lost her, just because I couldn't understand her. I'm still sitting here on my bed, classes long past. It must be almost lunch now, but I can't leave here. This is my sanctuary now, my only hope of survival is Hermione...and she was ripped from me. I can't think straight anymore. Everything is just running together... With my heart, she stole my mind...
*All we do is flirt now
The love we had is gone
There's nothing I can do about it
Yet my love goes on and on
*I guess hope is worthless
I shouldn't wait for you
But always remember, never forget
That my love for you is true
*You left me a long time ago
All my memories left behind,
But this love is driving me crazy
With my heart you stole my mind
END!!!
Yeah, that was sad and messed up I know, but I had to write that. I got the idea from *Boy Meets World* if you've ever watched that you recognize the plot. Please don't flame, but I just my creative juices flowing again. If I get at least 10 reviews I'll write a second chapter and try to make it better.
~Taya J Weasley, The Author
AkA
Taya-Plushie =)
