So for a long time I have wanted to write about the death of Dis's husband, because I feel like it's a very important part in their story. And finally, I did! It may be a little sad, but I hope you guys still enjoy!
(Fili is 6, Kili is 5)
Thorin trembled as he reached for the door to his sister's house. He had been there thousands of times, to visit his family and taste Dis' skillful cooking. She teased him about his affinity for coming just when dinner was ready, but she knew he enjoyed their company far more than his empty cabin.
But this time, this visit, was different.
A flash of Barynn, Dis' husband, getting hewn down by orcs flashed through his mind and he flinched away from the door handle that would let him see the life his best friend had left behind. He had been forced to watch the entire thing, held back by creature after creature. He had killed sixteen trying to cleave a path to his brother-in-law, who fought the same odds but all at once. He was too late. Thorin got there in time to kill Barynn's adversaries and hold him as he died.
Thorin looked down at his hands and arms. He had been smart enough to wash the blood off and change clothes before he came. Dis finding out her husband had died was bad enough without seeing her brother covered in his blood. The orc had put an axe through Barynn's back. There was no healer that could've saved him.
Enough was enough. He needed to go inside, be strong for his pregnant sister and his nephews, and keep his promise to Barynn. Tell them he loves them, help raise the children, take care of Dis. He could do that.
He grabbed the door and pushed it open before he could hesitate. Quietly, so the boys wouldn't come running and ask where their father was. He couldn't crush their hopefulness.
The smell of baked goods wafted to his nose and he could hear Dis humming in the kitchen; she baked when she was worried.
Thorin rounded the corner into the kitchen, heart pounding as he prepared himself for however Dis would react. She froze as soon as she saw him. She knew. He hadn't said anything, but she knew. Her hands went to her belly immediately. Her mouth opened like a heart wrenching sob was about to come out, but she sucked it back in and clamped it shut. She let the tears pour silently over her face. She reached for Thorin, wobbling, and he stepped inot her, holding her close to him, and holding her up it seemed.
"I'm sorry, sister." Thorin whispered into her hair, voice cracking. "I'm so, so sorry."
She nodded, gripping his coat with all her strength as she tried to speak. "It wasn't your fault, Thorin. I do not blame you."
And with those simple words, Thorin felt the huge weight on his shoulders lift just slightly. That had been his fear. He would always blame himself, but if Dis did too he didn't know how he would live.
His own tears fell on Dis' shoulder, and he felt hers soaking his front. His heart ached so horribly he didn't know if he could ever let go of his sister, but eventually she made the choice for him and stepped back, wiping her face.
"The boys must be told." She said, eyes welling up again with the idea.
"Do you wish me to do it?" Thorin asked, dreading the task but willing to take it on for her sake.
Dis nodded. "Please."
Thorin wandered through the home, following the sounds of his nephews voices. They were in their shared room. Even though they had enough rooms for them to sleep separately, they chose to stay together. Barynn said it worked out well – he was sure the new baby was a girl, which meant she would need the extra room. He had been so excited…
Thorin blinked away the memories and entered the room. Fili and Kili were sitting on the floor, blocks of wood and little whittling knives in their laps. If this was any other day, he would have scolded them for using knives by themselves, but he didn't think he was going to be getting mad at them any time soon.
"Uncle!" Kili exclaimed, face lighting up in his impish grin. He dropped the items and ran into his uncles' arms. "We're making carvings for the baby. Where's papa?"
Fili approached slower. Just a year older than his brother and yet he seemed so much more so. "Is he hurt?" He asked carefully, questioning with his eyes.
Thorin put Kili down and brought Fili closer, kneeling down in front of them. "Boys, I must tell you something." He hesitated for just one second before deciding to tell them straight. "Your father was killed today. He died in battle, an honourable death. He wanted me to tell you that he loves you both very much, and to take care of your mother and the baby."
Kili's face crumpled, and his big eyes welled with tears. He threw himself into Thorin's chest, tears adding to his mother's. Thorin held his free arm out to Fili, but the boy took a step backward, shaking his head.
"I must be strong for Kili and mama." He said, though his shaky, tearful voice betrayed him.
"Being strong doesn't mean you never cry, lad. It just means that when the time comes you pick yourself back up and continue to live. Even the strongest warriors cry."
Tears trickled down Fili's face. "Even you, uncle?"
Thorin sighed, throat tightening back up. "Yes, Fili. Even me."
Fili slipped his arms around Thorin's neck, crying freely now. Though Thorin tried his hardest, he couldn't help but join his nephews.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Thorin leaned against Fili's bed, his nephews still curled up against him. Their tears had run out, but they couldn't yet bring themselves to let go of him. He didn't mind, for he found strength in their presence as much as they did in his.
They were his nephews, but they were his to look after now. He could never replace Barynn, and he would never dare to try, but he would keep his promise. He would help carve these boys into the princes he knew they could be. Barynn would be proud of his sons.
"Thorin!" Dis' cry came from the kitchen. She sounded scared – panicked, even.
Thorin set his nephews on the floor and ran to his sister. She was crumpled on the floor, holding her belly.
Thorin knelt beside her, pushing hair out of her face. "What is it, Dis?"
"The baby is coming." Dis whispered, eyes filled with fear. "It is too early, Thorin."
Thorin nodded, thinking quickly. He did the calculation. Dis still had at least another month to carry this child. "I know. I'll get Oin. He'll take care of you, just like with the boys." Thorin slipped his arms under Dis.
She grabbed his shirt. "I cannot lose this baby, brother." She whimpered.
Thorin stood up, holding her close. "You will not, Dis." He hurried to her and Barynn's room – just her room now, he reminded himself – and laid her on the bed, pulling a blanket over her lower half. He turned around to find Fili and Kili in the door, fear splayed across their faces.
"Is mama okay, uncle?" Kili asked.
Thorin hurried them out of the room and closed the door. "The baby is coming now."
Fili's brow tightened. "But it's too early, uncle."
"I know, lad, I know. I'm going to get Mister Oin. I need you two to stay here." Thorin looked at their scared but set faces. "I'm proud of you, boys. I will be back soon!"
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Thorin took the squirming bundle of baby Oin offered and sat next to Dis, who was leaning against some pillows. She was sweaty and tired from hours of pushing a tiny dwarf from her body, but she was alive, and Thorin was grateful. There had been a moment where he thought she was going to leave him and the children. He had sat outside the room with Dwalin and Balin and the boys, but he could hear the commotion inside and the midwife's fear that Dis was fading. If things hadn't been so serious, he would have reprimanded her for speaking loud enough that the boys could hear. He had kept himself seated for hours, but when Dis called for him he all but burst into the room and past two midwives before telling Oin that if he wanted him out of the room they would have to kill him and drag his body out the door.
He was allowed to stay.
Thorin passed the baby to Dis. "A girl, sister. Just like Barynn said."
Dis nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks once more. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"
"Aye." Thorin murmured as the girl opened her eyes. "Look; Fili's colour. But Kili's shape."
"That stare rivals your own, brother." Dis smiled up at him. "She must get it from you."
Thorin felt his heart warm as he looked at his niece. "She looks like her father. What will you name her?"
"We hadn't decided." Dis trailed the tip of her finger down the baby's forehead and nose.
Thorin took one of the miniscule hands in his own. "What of Brynn?"
Dis thought about it for a second, studying her daughter to decide if it fit. "I like it. Brynn"
"The boys will need to look out for her. She's bound to capture many a dwarves eye."
"Oh, I have no doubt they will take care of her. Bring them in, Thorin. It is time they meet the one that will make them a trio."
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Thorin stood in front of the plaque that showed the tomb to be Barynn's. He had gone to the funeral with the boys, but Dis was too weak and the baby stayed with her. She would come make her peace later, when she was strong enough.
Thorin looked down at the peaceful Brynn, staring up at him with her big blue eyes. She was a quiet baby; easy to handle. He loved her with every ounce of his being. She had come in a hard time, but she had brought joy to them, and so Thorin figured she was sent by Mahal. She was little, just barely the length of his forearm, and Oin was worried about chills, so she was currently bundled in three blankets. But she was a fighter. Thorin could tell. He brought her closer to the rock covering the opening to Barynn's tomb. He touched his brother-in-laws name, then touched Brynn's forehead.
"This is your father, little one. He was a good dwarf – a great one. You came into life the same day he left, and I believe that he transferred his strength to you. I can see it in your eyes. You will be a force to be reckoned with, if you take after him. He loved you very much, and I promise, that love will never leave you."
Thorin carefully knelt down and sat against the wall, laying Brynn in his lap. He cradled her head with his hands. Her stare was stoic, but he could see a light behind them. She was intelligent, this one.
"You are royalty, dear one. You are a princess, a leader of people, a ruler of a mountain kingdom. Erebor, is your home. I swear to you, one day I will reclaim it for you and your brothers. You will see the sun set on the land you own." He touched his forehead to hers. "I will do this for you, love."
Brynn's eyes sparkled, and her tiny hand waved in the air until Thorin caught it. She tightened her fingers around one of his.
Torchlight illuminated the tunnel, and Thorin looked up to see Fili and Kili come around the bend. Fili was holding the torch, his other arm wrapped around his brother's shoulders. Neither of them liked to come to the tombs – they were still young and easily scared. The fact that they had come alone was a sure sign of their early maturing. Death tended to do that to children. Thorin wished it wasn't so for his nephews.
"What are you two doing down here?" He asked, voice quiet.
"Mama said you brought Brynn down here." Fili said, looking up at his father's name. His eyes began to water, and he looked away. "Did you show her to papa?"
Thorin nodded. "I did."
Fili's jaw set. "Good."
Kili left his brother's side and came to sit with Thorin. He stroked the top of Brynn's head, which was covered in warm brown fuzz. Fili smiled a little bit, as much as he could in the presence of his father's tomb, and deposited his torch in a sconce. He came over and squatted in front of his siblings, arms on knees and chin on hands. He watched over them, content.
"What do you think, lads?" Thorin asked, leaning against the wall. He wasn't concerned about the boys being careful. They already took care of Brynn with every ounce of responsibility.
"I like her." Fili whispered, running his finger down Brynn's little nose.
"She's not noisy like other babies." Kili remarked.
Thorin chuckled. "And that is why you like her?"
Kili looked up like it was obvious. "Well, if she was noisy I'd have to plug my ears every time I came around her. Then I couldn't hold her."
The reasoning of a five year old – but Thorin couldn't dispute it. He too appreciated Brynn's equable nature. Even when she did cry, she was easy to calm again.
"Papa would have loved her name." Fili commented, voice small.
Thorin's throat tightened. Barynn would have been humble, trying to refuse the honour. But, he would have given in quickly, overjoyed at the thought of having his only daughter named after him. That was why Thorin suggested it. And that is why Dis fell in love with it.
"He would have, but he wouldn't have called her that. He would have called her 'darling', like when she was in mama's tummy." Kili thought about it for a second, then leaned down and kissed Brynn's cheek. "And that is what I shall call you. You are very loved, darling."
Thorin blinked back tears. He distracted himself by helping Kili get into the proper position to hold his little sister. Brynn certainly was loved.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Two weeks had passed since Barynn's death and Brynn's birth. The family was settling into a new almost normal. Thorin had been living in the house, but they all knew he would have to go home eventually. Dis and the boys needed to be able to function without him. Still, they were taking it slow. Dis started refusing meals made by friends and started cooking again. Thorin started to go back to work in small amounts at the smithy. Fili and Kili resumed studies with Balin, though Dis and Thorin decided to hold off on training for a bit longer.
Thorin and Dis sat in the living room, baby Brynn lying on a blanket on the floor. They hadn't had a chance to talk just the two of them since the first few days of mourning.
"I'm glad the boys are back at their studies. They're doing well, but they need to get back into their routine." Dis said, sewing a hold in the back of Kili's trousers. He had apparently been jumping from a tree to save Fili from a vicious dwarf eating monster when a branch so rudely caught the fabric of his pants.
Thorin grunted in agreement. "And what of you, Dis? How are you?"
Dis put the fabric down in her lap with a sigh. "I don't know, Thorin. Others who have lost their spouses speak of still expecting them to walk through the door. But I do not. I know he's gone, and I know he will stay gone. And I don't think holding on to the feeling of his life would be very productive to me or the boys." She smiled down at her daughter. "Or Brynn. Does that make me harsh, brother?"
Thorin was quick to shake his head. "Not at all, Dis. It makes you strong. You still miss him, don't you?"
"With all of my being."
"Nothing we do will bring him back. You're right – holding onto his life would only hurt us more."
Dis nodded slowly, rocking in her chair and resuming her sewing. "Each day gets a little bit easier, but I don't think it will ever be completely painless. But I will continue on for him. When I see him, I will be able to rest in his arms. Until then… I fight."
Thorin felt his heart swell at his sister's words. He was so proud of her. So inspired by her. She was a warrior through and through, even if she didn't step on a battlefield anymore. She had more important battles to fight now – battles to save her sons and daughter. He would be there – fighting just as hard by her side to make sure she herself stayed safe.
This was his family, and he was going to make sure he took care of them – like he promised Barynn.
"We're going to be okay, Dis." He said, voice soft.
Dis looked up at him, her lips lifting in a small smile. "Of course we are, Thorin. We are Durins. Durinfolk do not back down from a fight."
Brynn babbled from her place on the floor, arms swinging in no coordinated way. Thorin and Dis laughed.
"She agrees!" Thorin knelt down on the floor and lifted Brynn into his arms, cherishing the happiness she emulated.
They were going to be okay.
And that's it! I hope you all liked it! Shoot me a review to tell me what you thought! I know it was sad, but it was a little happy too! There was a part in this that actually made my heart ache as I wrote it. Any guesses as to what it was?
Also, if you want to see Fili and Kili meet Brynn after her birth, I have a one shot from Fili's POV called The Baby Girl.
If you have any one shot ideas, send them my way! J
