The characters in this are not mine, they belong to their respective creators.


This is dedicated to those who were killed and maimed in Orlando at Pulse.


Part I

"What's the town called again?" an English lilting voice spoke into the satellite phone, over the thrumming din of propeller blades.

Another English voice answered, though this voice was clearly from a posh background compared to her subordinate. "It's bloody Purgatory. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll feel just at home."

The police girl almost cackled with this revelation, though her paralyzing fear of flying in a machine put a damper on her mirth. Her response was only in a mildly confrontational tone, "At home? In America? Sir, are you having a laugh?" The Sir on the other end of the line was indeed having a laugh, though she was certainly not a man; she just loved the moniker when used in conjunction with her full name, it reminded her of how her father was addressed by his subordinates. "Fucking hell, you know what, It's been a while since I've used Harkonnen IV in action, and I've wanted to test out my new babies that I actually helped make this time. How long until I'm free?"

Back at the Hellsing Manor, across the world in rural England, Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing kicked her feet up on her desk and checked her wristwatch; "You've got about thirteen minutes. It's time to go dark, good hunting Ms. Victoria." With that, she disconnected the line. Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing pondered one of the many rings bitten into her centuries old desk before summoning her head Butler with a button. Less than fifteen seconds later, a young woman of an age with her Lady Hellsing, burst into the room with a wide grin spanning her whole face. "Juliet, you smile too much," Integra reprimanded, though there was no bite in her voice, and Juliet knew it.

"My Lady, it's only an involuntary reaction to being in the same room as you!" Juliet responded, as cliché as ever jade ring swinging from her elongated French braid; though Lady Integra couldn't deny her Juliet's attitude was a fresh change from the humdrum mannerisms of the litany of replacements she brought in after Walter's treason. But more than that, around Juliet, much like with Ms. Victoria, Lady Integra could be herself, not just the stoic commander of the admittedly downsized Hellsing Organization. "Look, there's no jobs for us this weekend what with that business with Black Badge being handled by Countess Victoria. Poor girl, she hates long flights." Juliet paused for a moment, picturing the poor blonde police girl in the described condition, and couldn't stop herself from giggling uncontrollably.

"You know you don't have to call her Countess, Juliet," Integra pointed out lazily as Juliet was further consumed by her mirth.

"My Lady, if I can't call Dracula's, sorry, Alucard's only heir something classy, then what's the point of it all?" Juliet managed as she recovered from her outburst, breathing heavily.

At this, Integra slid her feet from the desk, and approached the young Butler with an air that Juliet could only describe as way hot. "Juliet, I thought you came to work here because we love each other?" Integra breathed softly as she drew herself up to her full height standing a head taller and right in front of Juliet.

Juliet's beamed up at Integra before she brought the taller woman in for a deep though all too brief kiss. Once they separated slightly Juliet amended, "Well, there's that too." She giggled lightly as Integra initiated the next kiss, and the next. Before long, they were very glad that the Hellsing organization was now only comprised of three women, so that there was zero chance of any interruptions, no matter how loud their love spoke.

Back in American West, a modified black bomber cut across clear sky at a prodigious pace. The pilot shouted over his shoulder, "Miss, drop is in one minute!" He got a single resounding pound from the black coffin sitting over bomb bay doors to confirm acknowledgment. And one minute later, they opened, dropping a crimson accented black coffin from about 40,000 above sea level. Ms. Victoria wasn't pleased with flying across the world in a modified bomber, but once the confines of the coffin were the only thing that encased her, once the machine was taken out of the equation, she felt free, her descent in style her own to control once more.

Controlled descent may be a strong word for most, especially the Black Badge Division of the U.S. Marshall service. Lt. Johannes simply stared at the black thing trailing red energy hurtling towards the Ghost River Triangle at a velocity that was far past terminal. "There's no way that thing's making landfall on our watch, Adler!" Lt. Johannes beckoned to her drone operator, "Shoot that thing down or–" she was interrupted by a simple but seemingly pointed ring. Answering the phone, she listened for a few moments before grudgingly slamming it back into place, shattering the phone's dock…and the phone.

"Ma'am?" Adler asked tentatively.

"Belay my last order. Those hoity-toity Brits just took total jurisdiction of the Ghost River Triangle, including that fucking missile!" Johannes was now fuming, her elegant dreadlocks still elegant, just more free since her cap had spilled to the floor. "Fucking treaties," she muttered to herself.

"What about our man Dolls? Isn't he–" Adler was cut off by a huff from Lt. Johannes

Lt. Johannes put up her hands in the universal 'fuck it' expression, which was followed by, "He's not ours anymore. Hellsing has got him now too. English bitches."

"Wynonna, seriously, how much you wanna bet Nicole will hunt us down and pull us over if you keep talking shit to pedestrians?" Waverly tittered.

As if to disprove Waverly's 'talking shit' narrative, Wynonna began to unintelligibly and belligerently serenade an attractive young woman walking with a stroller who was stopped at the same red light as them. Waverly moaned an apology to the young mother over Wynonna's dulcet tones. Upon seeing Waverly's penitent puppy eyes, the young woman's expression softened from axe-murderous to half-heartedly aggressive.

They actually got quite far out of town before being pulled over by, of course, Officer Nicole Haught. "Uh, hi, Officer, my sister's a little, you know, been having it a little rough, and I–"

"Waverly, you're alright," Nicole said easily as she sauntered up to the driver's side of the Earp sisters' 'seen better days' pickup truck. "You know you can call me 'Nicole' in public right?" she whispered to the younger woman. Waverly blushed as she nodded. With a tender squeeze of Waverly's hand, she planted a chaste peck on Waverly's forehead. Then she walked, far less romantically, over to Wynonna's side of the truck. "You on the other hand, are not alright, Earp." Nicole's tone was a little harder, but still very much compassionate.

Wynonna moaned and put up her hands in surrender, utterly done; though not without a shit-eating grin. Officer Nicole Haught just sighed and put her hand on Wynonna's then slapping her wrist. Wynonna recoiled with a, "I thought you were the good cop, ginger snap." Waverly just face-palmed.

"I am, which is why that's all you're getting this time, I wouldn't want to bill your sister for your drunken serenades…even if it's only 4:00pm," Nicole responded professionally.

Waverly moaned with her face falling deeper into her hands, "You know about the singing?" Nicole made her way back over to Waverly's side of the truck.

"It was the mom on her daily walk with her baby who called, though she wasn't as angry as she probably should've been," the police officer said, giving the drunkenly grinning Wynonna all the side-eye.

Their little farce was interrupted by a hurtling noise followed closely by a resounding impact several hundred metres off into the woods. The shockwave from the impact knocked Nicole off her feet onto the hood of the truck. The windows shattered, spraying glass into Waverly's face. A yelp of pain cleared Nicole Haught's head as she immediately inspected the bleeding face of her beloved Waverly. "Waverly!" Wynonna and Nicole shouted at once.

"I'm alright," the girl in question squeaked; as she was inspected thoroughly by the two most important people in her life, blood obscuring her vision.

"Waverly, You've got a big cut above your right eye," Nicole spoke quickly as she sprinted back to her cruiser to get her med kit.

Wynonna was considerably more in her head as her sister now was hurt. "Here, you'll be fine Waves. Police girl's got you covered," the older sister spoke softly and clearly, though not without a dose of cheekiness.

"Police girl?" an unfamiliar English voice said from across the street with a grin. Waverly and Wynonna both started. The new girl, who was about Wynonna's height, wore a long blood-red coat accompanied by a smart black suit with a tie to match the coat. Her loose fitting beret was coloured charcoal, which covered a once elegant bun, which was now riddled with loose strands of hair dying for escape. Her left arm was completely black, like she decided to cover all the cloth touching her left arm a shade darker than black. On the girl's back was mounted an appropriately sized coffin, able to accommodate no one taller than Seras. This fine coffin was emblazoned with a simple inscription in elegant script: Bitches Love Cannons.

Nicole who was several metres back at her car slammed her truck and quickly ran past the new girl to put herself in front of the Earp sisters, handing Waverly the medical supplies behind her back. "Who the hell are you?" Wynonna asked. The renegade Earp gunslinger was now also out of the car, standing shoulder to shoulder with Nicole Haught in front of Waverly, who was still nursing her lacerated forehead.

The English vampire police girl was still grinning as she addressed the beautiful ladies in front of her, but her eyes connected with Wynonna, the one who had Peacemaker aimed between her very scarlet eyes. "I'm Countess Seras Victoria of the Hellsing Organization, in the service of my master Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing and her master, Queen Elizabeth II. But you can just call me Seras."


Author's Note: So, this is a new thing for me, I've never done a crossover before. Please let me know what you think, please? I've no other bearings for the quality of my writing.