Stuck On You
Welcome to another Liley one-shot from your friendly neighborhood Gravy Man. This isn't the sequel to Pranked, but I'll get to that soon. In the meantime, this came to me and I got really excited to write it up. Hope you have as much fun reading it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the world's supply of butter, which is disappointing, as according to Daniel Tosh it's apparently recession-proof. I also don't own anything here that's been previously copyrighted. Or Craig T. Nelson.
"She'll never see it coming." Jackson chuckled deviously as he set the tube of Miley's lip gloss he'd recently doctored onto the living room coffee table. "Yee doggies, here she comes!" He snuck into the kitchen silently as Miley came in the front door.
"I can't believe Oliver didn't even tell me Lilly was coming to the beach with us today! Now I've had to come all the way home because my lip gloss has just magically disappeared somehow, and just...ugh. This is not gonna be a good day. I can just feel it. Ah! There you are!" She threw her hands up in relief as she spotted the tube, hurrying over to pick it up and apply some. She realized something wasn't right moments later after she'd rubbed the stick over her lips and discovered they'd become stuck together.
"Havin' a good day, sis?" Jackson smirked as he swaggered back into the room, having been secretly watching from the doorway.
"Mmm! Mmmm Mmm!" She shouted at him, gesturing furiously.
"I'm gonna take that as 'You genius! How have you fooled my lesser intelligence this time?' So allow me to explain. Not that you could interrupt... You see, this looks like your ordinary everyday lip gloss tube. As you've clearly noticed, it is not. Because if I take off this label here, we'll see that it's actually... a tube of Craig T. Nelson's Craizy Glue! I've never really known who Craig T. Nelson is or why he's making glue, but you can't argue with results."
Suddenly, Miley's finger shot up into the air as if she'd had a brilliant idea. She hurried off to the garage. While she was gone, Jackson slipped the label back onto the glue. She returned shortly after with a mason jar filled with a small amount of suspicious looking liquid. She proceeded to smear the suspicious liquid onto her lips, making sure to rub it around completely, and slowly regained the ability to open her mouth.
"Ha! You thought you had me, but after your last little stunt with the glue, I decided to hide the last little bit of the solvent so you'd think we were out. Now your plan backfired and I am so telling Dad on you!" She started toward the stairs and their father's bedroom.
"Oh yeah, you tell him that, and I'll tell him how you and Lilly snuck out to go to that R-rated movie last weekend. I don't think he'd enjoy hearing about your emotional scars. Especially once I remind him it'll probably give you nightmares, and he'll have to go comfort you, and he'll be so tired in the morning he won't have the energy to fix his hair."
They continued up the stairs in this manner, threatening to expose each other's crimes. As such, they didn't notice Lilly entering downstairs. Lilly did notice the lip gloss though. Figuring Miley was upstairs, she hollered as she picked up the tube. "Miley, I'm borrowing some of your lip gloss! That doughnut Oliver knocked mine into the water and ruined it." She proceeded to apply it liberally.
"Lilly! Nooooo!" Miley shouted, leaping down the stairs two at time. Once she arrived though, she realized she was too late. "That's not lip gloss. Jackson switched it with glue."
"Mmmm?"
"Yes, glue. It's Craig T. Nelson's Craizy Glue. You know, that whole commercial where they go 'Craig T. Nelson's Craizy Glue, the only glue used by Craig T. Nelson!' Kind of a stupid slogan really, and does anyone even know who Craig T. Nelson is?"
"Mmmm!"
"Oh right, the glue. We're gonna have to call the company."
She turned to Jackson, who was finally making his way down the stairs. "You see what your little prank has done? Now Lilly's lips are stuck together, we're out of solvent, and you know from last time it's like a week to get it delivered."
"It doesn't have to be a week." His smirk returned.
"What? Of course it has to be a week! It's not like we're just gonna drive to Pennsylvania just for solvent."
"Mmmmmmmm?"
Jackson rolled his eyes. "Yes, they're based in Pennsylvania. Must you question everything? Now Miley, I happen to know that we are in fact not out of the solvent for this glue. Actually, I'd say we have just enough left."
"What, why would you say that?"
"Because even though you used what was in that jar, it still works. And you never washed it off. So, in my expert opinion, all you have to do is kiss Lilly to unstick her."
"Kiss her?"
"Mmmm mm?" The girls exclaimed and, well, mumbled, simultaneously.
"Yup. That's the last of our solvent. I don't think Lilly'd do too well if she had to go a week without food or water, so you might wanna do it quick."
"That's really the only way?"
"Well, I'm pretty sure nobody here wants to give her an enema."
"Ew, why would you even mention that?"
"I saw it on one of those survival shows."
"Well, there's no way we're doing that." Miley crossed her arms defiantly, Lilly nodding like a broken bobble-head behind her.
"Alright then, you're gonna have to kiss her." Miley's arms fell to the side as she gulped, turning to face Lilly.
The girls moved together, Miley making sure to rub her lips over all of Lilly's. Once that was done, she simply stopped in the middle. As Lilly's lips began opening, Miley licked her bottom one. Lilly opened further to let her in, and their tongues began sliding slowly against each other.
Eventually, they both had to pull back to breathe. "You know, you kiss pretty well for someone who was just trying to unstick me."
Miley's face went red, and she scuffed her shoe on the ground sheepishly. "Well, you know, I might, also, really like you."
Lilly smiled. "That's great." Miley's head shot up. "Because I might also really like you too."
It was Miley's turn to smile as she moved back into Lilly, kissing her again. Once they pulled back again, she turned to Jackson. "I've decided I'm not gonna tell dad about your little prank because it turned out so well. But you should consider yourself lucky."
"Yeah, lucky," said a voice from the front door, where they all turned to see Oliver leaning against the frame, "because it's not like we planned any of this out."
"Of course not," Jackson agreed, "There's no way we could be that devious. Besides, plans and meddling are your thing, right Miley?" The boys smirked at them, high-fived, and walked away toward the beach.
Inside, Miley turned to Lilly. "I think we just got played."
Lilly nodded, still slightly shocked. "But how did those two," she nodded toward Jackson and Oliver's vanishing forms, "come up with this?" She held up their joined hands.
Meanwhile, down at Rico's...
"Your plan worked out great, dude." Jackson shook the mastermind's hand.
"Yeah, you shoulda seen their faces when I showed up at the door." Oliver nodded.
"Good work, boys," Robbie Ray laughed, "but don't forget, the fun's not over. They don't know that I already know about them. This could get interesting." They all smiled mischievously.
My local grocery store has an off-brand version of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!' that they've chosen to call 'Is It Butter?' I've decided I really don't want to know. It's not very specific, you could just open it up and be like 'Oh no, I got a bucket of nails this time.' And the guy next to you would be like 'Lucky you, I got a sandcastle.' Aside from the fact that I'm not sure how they got a sandcastle in there, it's an interesting marketing strategy, but it does nothing for my margarine needs. Anyway, you should review this while I go look for more specifically named dairy products. ~SGM
