AN: I haven't written in a while, so I thought to start again slowly and this idea just seemed to pop up from listening to Uh Huh Her's Common Reaction album. I recommend you to listen to it, especially wait another day and Common Reaction.
English isn't my Native language, and i'm still struggling with the language, any constructive criticism is welcomed as is any other thoughts you might have. For those of you who give this story a chance, thank you. This is a one-shot but might be a two-shot if there is any interest.

Thanks

Warnings: Suicide attempt?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the storyline and typos

Title: Not A love song.

A Rachel/Quinn Story.

She hadn't wasted a single breath on a love song ever since that glass-shattering moment of realization had hit her, right in the chest where every single movement was formed from the intake of her breath.

He had done it again. Broken yet another promise of the many he had sworn to cherish and hold.

"I only want to love you" he had whispered in her ear one rainy ghost-like summer evening. An evening where the wind was frozen, where the trees had lost their will to struggle their limbs to move from it's body.

"I don't ever want to walk away from you" She soon realized that it's what they all said. What they all fooled themselves to believe.

"I love you. Marry me? Forever and never." such enthralling words that had come to play such huge parts in movies, politics and history. Somehow they are all connected through the lies they were put through. They were all broken promises at some point or another.

She was smart, she shouldn't have listened to the guards around her heart that just were begging to be released from their evil empress. Finn ended up being the last man to catch her heart unguarded. The last one to ever hear a love sung erupt from the deepest parts of her lungs. Soon the empress in her had lashed out at the guards and scoffed at them for being so foolish to defy her orders. In return they slumped with defeat before raising their heads and standing ever more upright than ever, with their fists clenched around their armor and ready to battle any other enemy that dared to approach.

Lies and broken promises…that's what everyone were, they were all covered in remains of lies.

It's been seven years since that unfortunate/fortunate realization. Seven years since Finn entered her room with a head lowed in obvious shame.

A face usually so bright with life and kindness was replaced with a sick shade of regret.

She turned away from the sight of her boyfriend and instead focused her gaze on the crinkled papers on her desk. She had been trying to write a song for Nationals but nothing was coming to her mind besides lame words that described her headband.

She crumpled another sheet of paper, throwing it over her shoulder before resting her elbows on the hardwood desk with her chin resting on her fists. She closed her eyes and sighed before she spoke.

"You slept with her again, didn't you?" God, she never knew the again part could hurt so much. She could hear a defeated sigh escape from his lips and had to bite her lip from laughing. Love was truly ridiculous. Correction…Love and Finn.

"Leave" Her voice void with the usual bright and happy tone that could light up ones day.

"I'm sorry. It just happened" Came the response.

She closed her eyes; not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing the emotion she knew was there. They say the eyes are the windows to ones soul, and let's face it, Finn's visiting hours were long ago over.

"It just happened" She agreed with an informative tone.

"Please if you'd just-" His words were cut off when a loud slam was heard against the surface of her desk. Her hand was burning from the force it had hit her desk, she eyed the red bruising of it and felt strangely at satisfaction. At least something was real.

"I don't need to do anything. I'm not going to repeat myself. Leave…"

Seven years later and she's sitting close the edge of the rooftop of her apartment.

Her thin, delicate and so innocent fingers itch closer to the edge.

One movement, one shift of her body, and she could leave everything behind.

The city had never been as silent as it was now. The usual never ending police sirens that echoed throughout the city walls had long ago died on its latest stop. The struggling father of 3 had given up honking at the unmoving traffic. The city was still as it never had been before. This was it.

How fitting…a singer loosing it's hope with one slam to her childhood desk and then regaining it with a slam to the ground. Hope of something better.

She laughed with bitter and tries squeezing out the tears that were blinding her sight.

They had all walked away, one by one. Finn, Jesse, Puck…Shelby. For once in her life she wanted to be the one to walk away. The feeling she was having right now, the want to breathe out and just let go…it felt so right.

She shook her head with a small laugh. Not a single love song in seven years. She couldn't let go without singing one, the last song to ever escape from her lips. She had always been a fan of that particular genre, but during the circumstances…it just felt stupid. And whoever sing it to if not New York City. The only place that had managed to brighten her dark soul with it's gorgeous, blinding lights. She takes a deep, shuddering breath and looks out the night.

I look at the starlight

She closes her eyes and smiles peacefully.

I am shattered by the night

Always run where I can
And I hide where I wanna hide

The guards start surrendering, one by one they discard their weapons. Her fists unclench.

But it feels so right
I want it tonight
It feels so right

Her fingers edge closer and body shivering in anticipation. She's so close.

I went out of my mind
I am calling you one more time
I know how it feels tonight
I can do nothing about it
But it feels so right

Her voice starts loosing it's strength and control and soon she's practically sobbing out the words with her lip quivering in grief like a newborn.

I want it tonight
You feel so right

I will wait to love you
I will wait another day
For you I'd leave all this behind

And then it's over. Her voice has done her part and now it's time for the rest of her. She leans over, her legs over the edge, her back relaxes and then…

"Don't!"