Time for a new fanfic. This one is presented in diary format but instead of entries day by day, each chapter is a diary style record of the job Itachi has. Itachi is one of my favorite Naruto characters and this is my first fanfic about him. Lets see what jobs he can get and how long he keeps them. Read and Review please.


Our leader has gone crazy. It's official. He wants everyone in the Akatsuki to get jobs to earn money as we are somehow broke. Anyway, I thought it would be simple to get a good job, especially as I have good skills such as murdering clans, asking people nicely to let me kidnap them, frying fish, setting booby traps, and keeping a diary. Somehow, I haven't gotten hired anywhere. Kisame, The Last Teenage Mutant Ninja Shark, who is also illiterate, has not gotten hired either. His resume started with "My name ez Kissamee. I luve fishies." He had a terrible upbringing. It's a good thing that his clan was destroyed by me so there aren't more illiterate teenage mutant ninja sharks running around. However, everyone else has gotten jobs somehow. Konan is an origami teacher for little children. Kakuzu is a banker. Deidara has a job in demolitions working with dynamite. Zetsu is working as a florist. Tobi is a taste tester at a lollipop factory. Sasori is a puppeteer at The amusement park. Pein considers himself not needing a job as all our paychecks go to him and then he pays us. And Hidan is a male stripper.

I'm not a fucking stripper Pinkeye. I work in a butcher shop killing animals and in a tattoo parlor as a tattoo artist. I have two jobs and you have one. Take that!

-Hidan

I have been told by our annoying overlord that he has found jobs for Kisame and I. I bet that illiterate foolish teenage mutant ninja shark has to work at McDonalds or somewhere else embarrassing. Ha!

No Itachi, that's your job. Kisame is to work as a tour guide at the aquarium. You have no choice but to go to work. You are not allowed to quit.

-Pein

What! Well, as I have no choice, I'll work there. I won't be there long though. On a side note, my foolish little brother, the creepy gender confused snake pedophile, and Kabuto have gotten jobs as well. Kabuto is a surgeon in a hospital. Orochimaru is the snake expert at the reptile area at the zoo. My foolish little brother is working as a salesperson at Hollister. Oh, the shame, seeing my clan brought to this. Although, Hollister clothes would be a huge improvement over what Sasuke is wearing currently. His clothes are disturbing.

Today I started work at Mcdonalds. The people there have no manners at all. I hate the managers. The customers need to stop coming. Don't they realize how unhealthy that food is? I thought of a solution though.

After two weeks of suffering, the day after payday I enacted my plan. It was a success. I am now jobless after being fired.

What did he do?

-Konan

He killed everyone in McDonalds.

-Pein

Itachi, that's awful!

-Konan

Itachi, you are to get another job. This time, no murdering anyone.

-Pein

So, now I still have to have a job, unfortunately. I don't get what the big deal was about the incident at McDonalds. They were going to die sooner or later. My next job hopefully is better. I don't want to work anywhere embarrassing. Everyone else is doing well at their jobs. My foolish little brother was fired from Hollister though. Apparently he attacked the girls shopping there because they kept following him. He should talk to them instead of chasing them away. All of his talk of restoring our clan is nothing if he does make an effort. If he bothered to act he would be married already and most likely have a harem. I'm almost on the verge of asking Orochimaru to force him to have a girlfriend, a normal girl, not one of Orochimaru's experiments. Although, I should probably start to look for a wife as well.


Please review. I hope you liked chapter one of Itachi's Diary of Doom: Job Edition.