Well this came to me one day while wondering what it would feel like to look out a huge window in the middle of the city while it's night time. lol I know, I'm still trying to make a story out of it. maybe not, we'll see.

Anyway I don't own anything.


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The Waiting

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There she sat, in her chair, staring out the large glass wall to the city below. There were too many lights on to see the stars, but the skyscrapers nearby and the street lights far below were view enough for the girl as she absorbed the sight in silence. She did this every night, waiting in her large studio apartment on the only single couch in the whole room. Behind her, across the empty coffee table and large living room the door remained closed. She wondered when that door might open and give her some insight into what it was exactly that she was waiting for. So far no such luck.

She swished the cup in her hand, listing to the ice clink against the glass before taking a sip of the brandy. She wasn't a serious drinker, but there had been some heavy nights where she lost her self in the waiting to the point where she was too drunk to climb up the ladder leading to her bed, above the kitchen, that she just passed out on the carpet below it. Tonight she made it a point to not keep the brandy on the small table to her left just to avoid that, but now as her drink was coming to an end she was beginning to wonder if that had been such a good idea.

Shizuru...

She let out a sigh deciding perhaps she should take the empty glass as a sign to go to bed. She clicked off the small lamp on the same table where her brandy should have been and made her way to the ladder nailed to the wall to the left of the kitchen bar. Sitting up in her futon she took one last look over the small rail keeping her from seven feet of doom, to the door that remained still. Good night...Shizuru.

The morning came too soon in her opinion. Her alarm blaring, strategically placed across the room on the fire place. "Damn it," she grumbled climbing down the ladder rungs and making her way across to stop the incessant nagging of the alarm. She made it to the kitchen with little incident despite her nasty habit of bumping her shins against the low table. She made herself some tea and toast, the tea more out of a long practiced habit from having Shizuru around, before climbing back up the ladder to get ready for her day.

It has been five years since the worst days of her and her friends lives during high school, that some scrawny punk and a midget in a wheel chair had the nerve to call a carnival. Many sins had been committed from all parties involved but each came out of it alive, or rather not totally dead. Someone once said "to avoid death doesn't meant the same as to live," Natsuki felt that after that experience she knew exactly what they were trying to say. So she tried to move forward and not just not be dead, but to live as well, and that included forming a new and stronger friendship with her most important person, who happened to get a bit drunk on crazy during the whole ordeal. Who also, in her opinion anyway, took the recuperation period the hardest.

Shizuru, who was totally and desperately in love with her. Something that Natsuki couldn't even begin to understand. The concept of love for her was a foreign idea that slapped her in the face in her freshman year of high school. Even now she sometimes wondered what it truly meant having someone as your "most important person", what it meant to die in each others arms, to the best of one's knowledge at the time, to be the last and only person to hold in a tight and safe embrace to the other side. The return to life had been a double edged sword, so many ends that now had to be tied, so many things that could never be repaired, undone, but at least they all knew where their faults lay; which led to Shizuru's eventual departure.

She tried, everyday, and Natsuki tried to convince her that Natsuki was okay, that they were okay, but the knowledge of her breakdown was gnawing at Shizuru from the inside. Shizuru needed to regroup herself, so through many tears and broken, I'm sorry I love you's, she left on her own journey. That was three years ago.

She always sent a postcard from wherever she was around the world, with promise of her eventual return once she got a hold of herself for Natsuki's sake, but all Natsuki wanted was for her to come home. The only reason she didn't track the postcards back to Shizuru was because Natsuki understood and respected Shizuru's need to re-center herself, she just wished she could have done it from somewhere much closer, like her studio apartment, where Natsuki was currently wiggling into stockings and a business skirt.

When Natsuki moved to Tokyo for a job opening she made sure to send notice to Shizuru and she was glad to see that the cards were still coming. She kept them in the bottom drawer of her desk at work with her sketches, so that way she could always look through them whenever she became stressed. She had some from Australia, China, Korea, India, all over Africa and Europe, The Americas, Canada and most recently Alaska. Natsuki hoped that that meant she was almost home, as each card seemed to be following a path. But who knew really, all she could do was wait and see.

At work she looked over the spreadsheets for this quarter's sales. It was her job to type them up and bring coffee to her boss, sometimes even make the presentations for her boss' meetings. But anyway, what are interns for right? One day she hoped to move up from the boring office aspect of her job and maybe become one of the designers, but for now she was stuck here. She had a sneaking suspicion that she would be for a while simply because she was a girl. As it was she raised eyebrows for her motorcycle hobby, but she didn't pay them any mind. She was used to it from school after all. The lingering stairs, the hushed whispers, many of life's problems could be solved by a glare here or there, but with annoying people it was much easier to just ignore them. So she did.

"Kuga-san, can you come here for a moment?" She stood from her cubicle and walked across the narrow hallway to her boss' desk. To say that she loathed the man was an understatement. Every time he looked at her she could feel him trying to take of her clothes. "Sir?" He was flipping through a folder that looked sneakingly familiar. Like the one she hid in her bottom drawer filled with random doodlings of some great ideas for a new motorcycle engine. "I want you to deliver these sketches to Togyo-san to have the other designers and engineers look them over."

"May I ask what those sketches are sir?"

"No you may not, but since you did and I'm in a good mood I might as well indulge you," his dark beady eyes met with her cool green, "I was struck with inspiration late last night and I wanted them to look it over to check my math and perhaps get it into a project." The part that pissed her off the most was that he said it all without even blinking. And to add insult to injury he wanted her to deliver them. "Excuse me sir, but I believe those are my sketches." It was hard to be polite especially when she had the strongest desire to punch him in his lecherous face, but Shizuru had spent too much time weeding out her habbit to beat the crap out of first, ask questions later. She didn't want all of Shizuru's efforts to be for naught, so she restrained,...for now.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Again, with a firm gaze, daring her to say yes. And oh man, did she want to take him up on that challenge, but no, she had to keep control. What would Shizuru do? What would Shizuru do? "No, perhaps my folder got mixed up with the folder of your ideas and so the one in your hand is mine, but I'm sure yours is around here somewhere." That's right, give him a chance to honorably back out, she would have done that right? "No, these are mine, and if you continue to insist otherwise I suggest you get your cute little ass out of my office and don't bother coming back." Fuck it, I'll ask for forgiveness later.
Natsuki closed the office door behind her, the folder clutched in her hands. She grabbed an empty box from the cabinet, filled it with her stuff from her desk and walked out of the office, never looking back. It would be sometime before anyone realized that their boss was oddly silent and they'd find him unconscious in his chair with a black eye.

She threw her keys and helmet onto the kitchen bar slamming down the box with her few possessions beside them. Needless to say she was pissed off. Had it been a few years ago she probably would have been swearing at the top of her lungs, but lately she didn't have that much fight in her. She was becoming weary of Shizuru's absence, and now she didn't even have a job.

She eagerly stripped off the stockings and female monkey suite changing into basketball shorts and a tank top before gathering Shizuru's post cards and plopping down onto the floor. She looked through all of them, reading the fine and elegant handwriting of her best friend. Shizuru, a single tear dripped down her face, Where are you now?


The airport was crowded as usual. She sat in a tea shop quietly sipping down her drink in hopes of doing the same to the nervousness building inside of her. This was her first time back in three years. She toyed with the cell phone in her pocket wondering if she should risk making the call. Chances were her phone was tapped, which was the whole reason she resorted to sending post cards instead. It also made sure Natsuki was aware of her general location for security purposes. Surely Natsuki would notice if she stopped receiving them, and she'd have a lead as to where to begin searching for her. But I'm just being paranoid right? Wrong. Part of the whole reason she took this journey of hers was not only to find herself again, and possibly overcome the madness that was lurking within, but her mother said that if she ever stepped foot back in Japan she'd better be prepared to fulfill the name of Fujino and that meant leaving Natsuki forever and marrying a man to take over her father's dynasty. He had no intention of her staying away forever, however, so more than likely after the first few years she figured they'd send someone to force her back and take up her "responsibility." She decided to beat them to it, but she wasn't ready to stomach the idea of a man, no, she wasn't ready to lose Natsuki and she doubted if she ever would. Natsuki would never forgive her for it either, and she'd had enough of hurting the girl. It was time she saw her again, but there was no way she'd be able to call. Her only hope was that Natsuki still lived in the Tokyo address she'd sent her.

She worked up the courage to hail a cab and produced a paper with Natsuki's rough handwriting that had the address. Now all she could hope was that it wasn't too late, and Natsuki was still awake and waiting for her.

She had the cab circle the block a few times to make sure no one was following. If they were they were really good because she didn't see any one. She took out the battery in her phone and hid it under the chair of the cab before exiting with her only bag and making her way up to the tall apartment building.

The door was locked. How disappointing. After several knocks and still no answer she resorted to flirting the key from the man behind the lobby desk. It took a lot of work and forced restraint from openly gagging before she weaseled it out of him, claiming to be Natsuki's relative that just flew into town and wanted to surprise her. She may have made it seem like she was open to a date with the man but if he would have been paying attention to what she was actually saying instead of ogling her then he would have realized that she never actually did. At least that's how she justified manipulating him to herself.

Once inside she was greeted with the cutest, most adorable sight that she had been sorely missing for the past three years. Natsuki was curled up asleep on the floor clutching tightly to her chest a stack of post cards with a few scattered around her. Her mouth was hanging slightly open with the faintest hints of drool. Her raven hair splayed across the creme colored carpet adding to her whole tragically beautiful appeal.

"Natsuki..." It felt so good to see her again, and for her to be holding so dearly to those small squares of overpriced cardboard sent a warmth through Shizuru's heart and she knew then that she made the right decision to come here first. There was no way in hell she was going to miss out on this for a name that never provided her with the comforts that the girl sleeping before her always did.

She finally broke her gaze away from the beautiful girl to admire her place. The opposite wall was a giant window looking out onto the city. A single, leather chair facing out to admire the view, a small table with a lamp and brandy to keep it company. There was a coffee table in the center of the room with an empty instant ramen cup settled on top of it. A small, unused, fire place warmly rested on the left wall, a small digital clock on its mantle. To the right was the kitchen with an open bar. Next to the bar were steel bars drilled into the half wall, like a ladder that lead to an open second floor. Beside the ladder was another door that led into the bathroom. All she could make out of the second floor was a black entertainment center with a flat screen TV and not much else. She wondered if that was where Natsuki slept.

"Ara ara, how am I supposed to carry Natsuki up to bed now?" The mentioned girl replied with a grunt and a slight shift in position. All in all the place looked nice if not for a little bare when it came to decor, but she figured that was probably least of Natsuki's worries. She scoured the studio for pillows and blankets bringing them over to the peacefully sleeping girl, hoping to make it as comfortable for her as possible. Changing into her own sleep wear she slid in beside the girl only to be surprised when Natsuki rolled over wrapping her arm over her waist and drawing her close. Natsuki let out a contented sigh and whispered, "Shi...zuru." Shizuru's heart pounded in her chest. Natsuki was being too cute, too soon and it was overwhelming. "Natsuki Ikezu," she whispered back to the deeply sleeping girl before joining her in slumber.

She was glad she woke up first. It would have been harder if she hadn't. Her finger lazily traced the face of the sleeping blunette, drinking in the angelic innocence that seemed to radiate off of her with the halo of sunshine behind her head. "Natsuki...," she whispered and gently pressed her lips to the sleeping girls forehead, "aishiteru."


Natsuki slowly opened her eyes with a bright smile on her face, clutching a pillow that suspiciously smelled like Shizuru. She looked around the empty apartment realizing that she was asleep on the floor tangled in sheets she didn't remember having when she first fell asleep. She couldn't have done it while half asleep because then she might as well have just stayed on the second landing and slept on her bed. Getting up she made her way to the kitchen bar where a glass of orange juice sat next to a plate of eggs, toast and strawberries. What the hell. Moving the play to the side she found a postcard that she knew for a fact she didn't have before. Her eyes widened at the sight. It was of Kyoto.

"Shizuru," tears slowly dripped down her cheek as she looked over the neat and unmistakable handwriting.

Ara, good morning Natsuki, or rather good afternoon. I'm pretty sure you won't get this until around then. Natsuki is such a sleepy head after all. I'm sorry I had to leave before you were awake, but it was worth seeing my cute Natsuki sleep after such a long time. By this time I should already be in Kyoto, or at least almost there. You see there is something just down right infuriating about being a Fujino that I must take care of. If you don't hear from me in some way by the next month then be warned that my mission has gone awry. Whatever you do, don't call. And remember that I will always love you. Be safe. Oh and I hope you don't mind but I kept your pillow to remind me of my Natsuki who keeps me warm during lonely nights XD.

Your body pillow for the evening ;),

Shizuru

Natsuki would normally have been a fuming red by now if not for the constant nagging at the back of her head telling her that Shizuru's mission was a serious one that could be a potential threat to her well being. She gripped the card tighter, worry filling her every fiber. How could a name be dangerous? Stop being paranoid Kuga. She tried to reason with herself. Letting out a sigh and digging into the breakfast Shizuru had prepared for her she whispered, "please be careful, Shizuru..."

- - -

"You don't look so good. Are you alright?" Mai asked, sitting across from Natsuki in the booth. "I'm fine." She let out a sigh and took a sip from the tea. "I didn't realize you drank tea. In fact I don't think you ever did. When did you pick up that habbit?" Mai still lived in Fuuka, but that didn't stop her from worrying about Natsuki especially since Shizuru left and she moved to Tokyo not long after. But all she had managed to extract from the stubborn girl over the phone were monosyllabic grunts. So she decided to close her cafe for the weekend and drop by, only to find a tea addicted puppy, lost, even as it roamed around dragging the leash once held by its master.

"I don't know. It's more of a habbit really. If I had to guess I'd say three years ago." Mai carefully looked over her friend as she took sips of the tea unaware of Mai's inquisitive gaze.

"I don't get you. Or the Kaichou for that."

"Huh?" Natsuki met Mai's violet eyes, her hand instinctively going to the leather jacket she wore where the most recent postcard from Shizuru was resting. "She was your most important person right?"

"Is, yes."

"And you hers."

"Right."

"She's totally in love with you."

"Uhuh." Natsuki had no idea where Mai was going with this but it was starting to make her feel uneasy.

"And you?"

"Me what?"

"Do you love her?"

"Well, yeah she's my most important person." What part of that did she miss?

"No. I mean are you in love with her?" Silence was her answer. Natsuki let out a sigh. She didn't know the answer to that question then and she didn't know it now. Even if she did she wouldn't be able to just tell Mai like that. Things like love, and in love, were very complex things and her worry for Shizuru's well being was clouding her ability to think it through.

"She's not the Kaichou Mai. Hasn't been for five years."

"Your changing the subject." The carrot top wasn't going to let her get away with it that easy. "Natsuki, you've been a mess since she left. You drink tea only because its her favorite. You're a lot more tame only because she trained you--"

"You make it sound like I'm her dog!" Natsuki snapped back. "I'm not...lost, I'm not...waiting, I'm not...I'm not," in love? They were all lies, and still she couldn't bring herself to say it. As thought that would betray her. Who? Myself of course, it would betray myself. No. Another lie. It would be like betraying Shizuru.Shizuru...Shizuru... Natsuki tightened her grip on the small porcelain cup, glaring down at the greenish liquid, hoping somehow her anger would cover the tears that threatened to spill. Why couldn't she have woken me up. She wanted to see her again. To at least be consciously aware that they were in each other's presence. Her hand made its way to the inside pocket of her jacket and fingered the edge of the card.

"You're not what?" Mai asked. Natsuki had totally forgotten about her by this point.

"Employed. I lost my job."

"What?! How?" Diversion successful. Mai was now standing, or trying to, hands gripping tightly to the table while giving the biker her best reprimanding look.

"He tried to steal my work. He said I had a cute ass." Only one person was aloud to say she had a cute anything and even that was pushing it, "so I...handled...things."

"You handled things? What would Kai...Fujino-san say about that?"

"Hey, hey! I know alright. That's the only reason I just got fired and didn't get sent to jail or something." Did she actually expect that to be a comforting thought? Mai hoped not. Where was Kaichou when you needed her. "As soon as your owner, Fujino-san gets back I'm sure everything in your contained, little world will be alright again." Natsuki didn't give her the reaction she was expecting. No glares, open threats to her personal well being. At least a grunt would have been sufficient. Instead she acted as though Mai had not even spoken and continued sipping her tea. Odd.

"When are you heading back down to Fuuka?"

"That desperate to get rid of me?"

"No just curious." Mai ran a hand through her orange hair.

"I'm leaving tomorrow. I can't leave Tate alone too long with Mikoto. It's going to be a mad house when I get back. You're just lucky that I'm such a great friend." Really I wonder, Natsuki didn't dare say that out loud though.


"Otousan...Please let me speak...No I am not harmed, despite your efforts...I just wanted to let you know that I am unable to comply with your request...No I suppose I don't...Much more than you can for me...I don't think that concerns you. Good bye Otousan, tell Okaasan I send my condolences." She hung up the pay phone and leaned back against the booth's glass. It wouldn't be so easy as that, she knew, but it was a start.

She made her way to the nearest gift shop and found the targeted stand. Giving the rack a good spin, she stopped it and pulled out a card of a Majestic White capped mountain with Hokkaido neatly scrawled down the right side. She sat on a nearby bench and took out her favorite pen and began to write.