Author's note: This isn't my usual (how many times have I said that?) This was inspired by the song My Immortal by Evanescence. To me it is set around Harry's first year. I don't know why. It just fits. Somehow.
All of Me
Sometimes Severus still dreams about him. In his dreams Severus forgets he is dead, forgets the years of solitude that separate them even in memories. Now Severus doesn't even cry when he wakes and reality comes crashing back. The pain hasn't dulled over the years, but Severus has become resigned to it, even slightly numb.
The sheets on the bed hold his presence (Regulus insisted on having green sheets.) The coffee pot holds more memories (hands reaching forward, touching, pulling back, awkward smiles.) Eating breakfast makes Severus remember (eating bacon and eggs in bed on the green sheets.)
Night is the worst (Regulus had shared Severus' love of the night, of the shadows and ambiguity.) The books on the shelves seem so inviting, but they hold more secrets that Severus has ever told (sunlight glinting off the lake, the smell of grass, and Regulus' voice reading Dickens out loud.)
And then there's the dark (impenetrable, lonely) and the insomnia induced hours spent laying on the bed, with nothing to stop Severus from wallowing in his memories (the soft glow of candlelight on Regulus' face as he slept, the sound of his deep even breaths, Regulus' cold feet pressed against Severus' shins.)
The bed is cold (as
cold as Severus wishes his heart could be.)
The stars hold no
fascination (twinkling above them, unaware.)
The dark is inviting (so tempting to sink into, forever.)
The sheets are ordinary (the color is rather dull.)
And Severus does not want to sleep, because his dreams (happy, inviting, and bittersweet) are always broken by reality (harsh, empty, and dull.) Because Regulus will never again share in the simple joy of those things, and there is no one for Severus to watch during the night.
Fin
Please review? Please? I'm not sure what to think about this one.
