I own none of the characters, places, or objects mentioned. I just own this one-shot, along with a tablet and an owl snowglobe. Hope you enjoy this story and thanks for reading!


The Trophy Gallery. What a wonderful place within the Smasher's Mansion.

Within its halls were the sculptures of the greatest of heroes, the quite dastardly of villains, and the most ultimate of weapons that the world has ever reckoned with. It was a stomping ground of admiration for the Smashers, as it was a place for either idle chit-chat or deep conversation that involved heroic endeavours involving those portrayed in the small sculptures. And at times, there were moments that occured ever so rarely that involved a breakthrough discovery, which was right about to occur at this very instance between two young boys...

"Wow! Isn't this cool, Lucas?" Ness the PSI hero remarked excitedly as his dark brown eyes darted left and right. "All these trophies of everyone look so realistic!"

"Y-Yeah..." Lucas stuttered, quietly trailing behind his thirteen-year-old friend. His nine-year-old, blonde-cowlicked self looked up to Onett's one-of-a-kind savior, even though there was a mere four years difference between the two of them. "It sure is, Ness..."

"Now, I know that you don't know many people here..." Ness stated to his companion. "But ever since I joined these tournaments, I've met so many people and made so many friends! Like that guy...and that guy over there..."

Ness tended to point at quite a few of the statues, drabbling on about how he knew them for quite some time. Often, Ness would tell a quick story about the interesting character...

"Yeah! Link's the coolest! I remember talking to him one time, and he actually spoke ENGLISH! And not, 'Hyeh? Hyeh! HYYYEEEHHH!' like what I expected from everything I heard about him. Smart guy, I tell ya!"

Or a "gut-busting" tale...

"Oh, Fox! Gosh, what a funny guy! So I was walking by him and he tried to get Peach to go out with him. Then he used a pick-up line that went like 'I know MY princess isn't in another castle, cuz you're standing right here!' From what I hear, he has some new girlfriend. I wonder if he used that line on her to make her fall in love with him..."

Or...an observation...

"Wow! Samus sure is pretty! Wait...she's a woman? And human?! Wow! And to think, all this time, I thought she was a robot! Well, ya learn something new every day I guess..."

Lucas just silently followed Ness through the hall, taking in story after story without any questions, and his most likely reply to Ness was merely a soft nod or a hesitant smile.

However, it wasn't long till one statue in particular caught his eye: one of a baby with a large, red hat on, with a small grin on his face and tiny black eyes...

"Hey, Ness..." Lucas stopped in front of the statue just as Ness was about to halt further ahead and tell Lucas of the time he thought Marth was a lady because he wore a tiara everywhere and his voice sounded high-pitched.

Ness whirled around and noticed the trophy Lucas was so focused on, and he walked towards him; the Madame Marth schtick could be used on a later date anyway.

"Yeah?" Ness asked Lucas.

"Who's that?"

"That?" Ness didn't even have to think twice before he answered: "Well, that's Baby Mario!"

"...Baby Mario?"

"Uh-huh!"

Baby. Baby. Why did Lucas think so intently of that word? It sparked his curiosity for some reason. Could it be because it was THE Mario as a small, helpless infant and it was just hard to imagine the plumber without a moustache but only a foot long? Or maybe it was just an adorable trophy, and babies by nature were indeed adorable, right? Or maybe...just maybe...

It was like some type of alien! Yes! Babies could be aliens! Creatures of unknown origin that have crashed onto Earth, growing as they blend in with the rest of society and interact with the rest of the world!

There was just one thing, though...

"Hey Ness?"

"Mmm-hmm?"

Lucas blushed a little as he thought of his question. He didn't wish to sound ridiculous or naive, like what appeared of his character. Yet, he was with Ness, who always said things that were quite random and out of nowhere. So, Lucas told Ness of the question that suddenly sparked his interest. The question that just made him wonder about life...maybe even about the origin himself. He was wondering...

"Where do babies come from?"

Ness' eyes got wide. How was he supposed to answer such a question from a young boy when he was just a minor himself?

"Uh..." Ness hummed as his cheeks got a little red. Did he know where babies came from? Sure he did! But how was he supposed to explain such a...complicated process to Lucas. "D-Don't you know?"

Lucas shook his head.

"Well...um...there's this stork that-"

"Oh, come on, Ness!" Lucas folded his arms and whimpered.

"Huh?"

"I know that's not it. I mean, it's not physically possible for a baby to survive from the flight of a stork due to the oxygen levels, right?"

"Y-Yes, but-"

"And even if there WAS a stork, where do they get the babies from?"

"Well...um..." Ness was at a loss for words. Maybe talking about Madame Marth wouldn't have been so bad after all; at least the conversation with the nine-year-old wouldn't be quite as awkward. "Haven't your parents told you?"

"No." Lucas answered. "My mother obviously never told me..."

"And your dad?"

"He never has. I just never asked him. That and I think he'd tell me about storks, too."

"Oh..." Ness adjusted his cap. Now what? "Well, do you REALLY want me to tell you?"

"Y-Yes..." Lucas answered. "Do you know where babies come from, Ness?"

"Well...yeah..."

"Then can you tell me? Please?"

Ness stared at Lucas for a moment. He was too young to know, obviously; he bet that Lucas never even held hands with a girl before, let alone understand what...certain things meant. He just couldn't say no to those big, sad eyes, though.

So, why not improvise? Always works for an author, so why not for a thirteen-year-old boy who was to attempt to explain to his younger companion where they both came from?

"Well...alright." Ness sighed. "But you can't tell anyone..." He leaned towards Lucas, holding up his index finger to his lip. "It's a secret to everyone. Okay?"

Lucas quickly nodded.

"Okay. Well," Ness began. He thought of when his mother and father sat on his bed, hesitantly telling him of "the birds and bees" a few years before, and even then they tried to be vague about "the details". So, why not use some of their analogies? "When a mommy and a daddy love each other a lot...they...um..."

"Yeah? Go on!" Lucas clenched his fists almost in excitement.

"Uh...well...there's uh...a factory!" Ness exclaimed. He remembered that there was a factory involved in his parents' impromptu explanation. It was then, however, that the then ten-year-old Ness began to ask questions, and it wasn't before long until the adult couple knew that their son had to grow up sooner or later.

That was all Ness had that he could get from his parents. Now he was all on his own.

"A factory?" Lucas repeated.

"Yes! It's more like a research center, though. Called...um..." Ness could only think of one thing: "Aperture Science..."

"...Aperture Science?"

"Yeah! Aperture Science!"

"Don't they do a lot of testing there or something?"

"Yes..." Ness replied. "For...um...science!"

"Oh." Lucas said. "Continue. Sorry for interuppting."

"What? Oh, you're fine!" Ness reassured Lucas. "Anyway, all adults have to work there sometime."

"And do what?"

"Test, of course!"

"Like...in school?"

"No. Like...obstacle courses! And puzzles! Traps, even!"

"Wow!" Lucas exclaimed. He couldn't remember the last time he was so fascinated in anything. "That sounds exciting!"

"Oh, it is..." Ness agreed. "To us, anyway."

"Whaddya mean?"

"Well, some tests can be really hard and even stressful for some people. But these tests aren't just meant for one person...but for two."

Lucas wondered what these "tests" were like. Why partners?

"So...two people?" Ness nodded at the question. "But why?"

"Like I said," Ness began to explain. "These tests can only be solved with two people. Two people that really care about each other and wish for them both to succeed. However, there have been times that partners decided to seperate and find new partners to test with."

"Seperate?" Lucas questioned. "Why?"

"Sometimes, Lucas, some people just decide that they could find a better, more relatable partner to possibly make testing easier on them." Ness answered. "That doesn't mean they don't care about each other, however. It could just mean that they think it's time to move on."

"Oh..." Lucas was somewhat saddened by this. When his parents worked at "Aperture", did they ever think of finding new partners to test with? They liked working together, didn't they?

"Um..." Lucas decided to change subject. The thought of his parents finding new partners to work with somewhat bothered him... "Do you know what these partners have to do in these tests?"

"Sure I do!" Ness was on a roll; improv was much easier than he expected it to be. "The partners have these guns...Portal Guns! These partners use them to go through obstacles in the way! The guns could help the partners by making their routes through tough challenges shorter and even get them out of dangerous situations! Along the way, though, things can get hard..."

"How?"

"Well...there's this person that watches their every move..."

"God?" Lucas suggested quietly.

"Not quite." Ness replied. "Her name's GLaDOS."

"Oh."

"You see, GLaDOS is the one who makes all these tests for the partners," Ness continued. "And the tests get harder and harder as the partners go along. She's, in a way, testing to see how well the partners would work together..."

"For what?"

"For their baby, of course!" Ness was just about done... "And she even tries to torment them at times, insulting their abilities and try to make them turn back. But if she finds that they're strong and motivated enough and if the couple completes all the tests...the partners get their baby that was made by GLaDOS and they're allowed to leave Aperture Science."

"Wow..." Lucas pondered over what Ness said. Everything sounded so complicated to him all of a sudden. And to think, his parents, his own mother and father, having to team up and use just one weapon to go through endless obstacles while someone was watching over them, helping or hurting them as they went along and giving them harder and more dangerous tests to go up against. But it seemed that they survived all that...and even thrived! GLaDOS must've thought they were so good together, that they got not one, but TWO children! How cool was that?

But Lucas couldn't help but think of how he had to go to Aperture Science when he got older. What if the tests would be too much for him? What if GLaDOS was too sadistic? What about his fear? Would it get the best of him? And what if he couldn't find a partner to work with him?

But Lucas shrugged this all off for the moment. He was just a kid, and he only had to worry about signing up for the research and testing when he got older.

Something was bothering the young boy, however...

Could Ness be lying to him? Because...because...

"That's not what Marth said."

Ness was basking in his own glow of how greatly he made up such a marvelous tale about the origin of infants on the fly. But he quickly snapped out of his glory when Lucas spoke once again.

"Uh...heheh..." Ness chuckled awkwardly. "What?"

"Well," Lucas shrugged. "Marth said that babies come from when mommies and daddies fall in love and have-"

Ness covered Lucas' mouth, and all Lucas could do was stare at him.

"Lucas...Marth has no idea what he's talking about."

Ness took his hand off of Lucas' mouth. Lucas tilted his head in confusion.

"What makes you say that, Ness?"

"He wears a tiara, Lucas." Ness stated bluntly. "Simple as that."

"But why-"

"Just stick with that, Lucas." Ness sighed as he walked ahead, with Lucas tagging on from behind like before. "And speaking of Marth, ever heard of the time me and a bunch of other guys put some make-up on Marth while he was sleeping?"

"I don't think so." Lucas answered.

"Oh, it's a good one." Ness said as he adjusted the bag on his shoulders. "It all started on a rainy day..."

And so, the two boys walked down the Trophy Gallery, continuing on their journey as they knew of the tests they had to face when they were no longer considered kids but had the urge to find partners of their own...


Well, to be honest, I have no idea what was going on in my mind when I was writing this one-shot. I just suddenly thought of Ness and Lucas having a cute conversation like this and decided to write it down. Oh, and this is my tenth Fanfic! Hooray!

I hope you all enjoyed it, review if you wish, and thanks for all the love and support!

-BAA Productions