"You're sick. Why would you do this to me?" Lisbon was seething in pent up rage, rage not only for this lie, but for all the lies Jane had ever told her. There were too many lies to count.

Jane dove into a hurried explanation, as if his charm and wit could get him off again this time: "Two reasons. Firstly, to catch the killer of Alicia Seaburg. The killer who is not poor Lilith Nash, who you may recall took a dose of the antidote to survive the virus. Yes?"

"Yes…"

"The killer believes he or she is the only one that isn't going to die. Yes?"

"Yes."

"So they have to get out of here before we die, or else they'll be burnt to a crisp by the air force. Their hands are tied. They have to try to escape, thus revealing themselves to us with the clarity and precision of a mathematical equation."

Lisbon wondered who in their right mind would think to use "clarity and precision of a mathematical equation" in a sentence to a person clearly willing and able to kill him. She concluded Jane was insane. Either that, or he grievously underestimated what she was capable of when she was angry.

"And reason number two?"

Jane thought she was taking this rather well, considering the circumstances. He continued in his best salesman voice: "The second and most important reason is, doesn't it feel great to get your life back? Don't you feel good right now? Don't you feel happy to be alive?"

"No!"

"Oh, I know you do! You know you do!"

Lisbon cut him off with, "If reason one doesn't pan out very, very soon I think I'm going to punch you in the nose."

"Forbearance Lisbon."

At this, again, the thought crossed Lisbon's fuming mind that no one in their right mind would say "forbearance" in a situation like this. Clearly insane. Mad Hatter insane.

"Any moment now Harkin is going to come around that corner with an anxious expression on his face because someone has run off."

Lisbon decided at this point she hated the ridiculous calming hand gestures Jane made when he talked.

"Any moment now…"

Jane, in his short pause, was reminded of what he would never tell her. There was a third reason he tricked her into thinking they were all dying.

"Wait…"

Recently his attempts to get under her skin had been met by denials, or worse, blank stares. He could figure out whether her denials were true or not, but the blank stares were unnerving to say the least. That along with the blatant ignoring of his quips got under his skin. Lisbon had even taken to wearing earplugs or listening to music in her office lately just so she could better block him out. While it gave her momentary peace and quiet in the office, it only served to make Jane want to escalate the conflict. It was as if she was asking—no, daring—him to pester her more.

"Any moment."

The odd thing was that Jane didn't want to simply annoy her. If their actions so far were skirmishes, then Jane was determined to win the war in order to know her deepest, darkest secrets. And yet in some small part of him that he kept hidden away from everyone, he found that he wanted not to just find out her secrets. He wanted her to tell him them, to confide in him.

Jane let out a small sigh.

"Nothing." Lisbon said in a resigned, flat tone.

This self-revelation was not pleasant for him to find out. Sure, he had a pretty good handle on what made her tick, but it was her complete and utter silence on any details about her personal life or past that was baffling. Jane knew Lisbon pretended she was a tough and by-the-book police officer, and that it was an elaborate and carefully constructed façade. He knew this, but he also knew that people eventually, inevitably opened up to him. Without much prodding or persuasion they spilled their secrets, worries, longings, and fears out to him. Lisbon, in stark contrast, had for years now refused point blank to. He had never even seen her tear up, let alone cry.

"Could you just give…"

As pain from Lisbon's well-aimed punch dulled his senses, Jane realized he had now seen a glimpse behind the façade—that she could get angry enough to inflict bodily harm on another person. These glimpses were the third reason he had tricked her. He had needed to know whom she valued most in this world. Who she would call if she were dying, who she would apologize to, wish she would talk to…Jane wanted to know it all. She was much more puzzling and fascinating to unravel than his Sudoku puzzles. And he was finding her much more addicting. This was why he would never, ever tell her there was a third reason…because that would mean he had lost the war and would have to surrender. To her. And he wasn't quite willing to do that yet.


I'm not sure I got all the names right, so correct me if I'm wrong. This is my first (and perhaps only) Mentalist fic. It's quite fun to get into their heads, especially Jane's…