After Smallville
Prologue:
Part 1
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AN: I had promised, a while back, that I wouldn't give up on this story. And for some reason, I did. I feel horrible now and am trying to redeem myself. This story is being reposted because of my guilt at abandoning it and the storyline is really good. Thanks to Anakin's Girl 4eva for beta reading this chapter. Appreciate it, a lot!
Summary: Did you ever wonder whatcould happen after Smallville?
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters of Smallville. I'm just
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Lois parked Chloe's red BMW buggy parallel to the white picket fence and jumped out, soon followed by Chloe who continued to give her cousin nervous glances as they made their way to the farmhouse. Lois had become intent on telling Clark her real feelings for him and as much as Chloe tried to discourage her, there was nothing the blonde could say that would change Lois' mind. Chloe was sure that this could only end in tears…and it was unlikely that they would be Clark's.
She couldn't imagine Clark reciprocating Lois' feelings at this point in his life, and she didn't want her cousin to get hurt…again. Deeper still however, if Clark did return Lois' feelings, then Chloe would be deeply concerned with her cousin's intimate involvement with the 'great' Clark Kent and the secret life he led behind closed doors. The more she thought on it though, it became apparent that the feeling wasn't concern at all...no…it was jealousy.
Chloe simply wasn't prepared for any of this. On some level, she enjoyed being the one that Clark confided in, the one with whom he shared his super powered secret and his alien history, the one with whom she shared his darkest fears and unraveled the Luthor's tangled web of lies with. They were a team, a duo and the feeling of 'two's company but three's a crowd' was growing in her mind. If Lois found out this secret and joined in their escapades, she was scared that they would only have eyes for each other and she would just fade into the background.
Her uncertainty only increased as they advanced nearer to the back door, those thoughts and more swirling through her head until she couldn't just stand by and watch anymore.
"Lois." Chloe called out, watching as Lois stopped but didn't answer and didn't turn around. Despite this, Chloe knew that she was listening from the way her cousin turned her head slightly back over her shoulder. "Are you sure about this?"
For a moment, nothing but silence and stillness fell between the two girls, and Chloe could practically see the cogs working in Lois' mind before she slowly turned and faced her younger cousin.
"Yeah, I think I am. I'm tired of playing around with my feelings, Chloe. I've been hiding this for too long." She sighed. "And now that I know that Clark loves me too, it will be easier to tell him."
Chloe could do nothing but weakly smile uncertainly. /Chloe had overheard Mark, a new friend, giving Clark advice about a 'situation' in the Talon a few weeks before college graduation. Clark rarely ever asked for consultation about any future decisions he had to make, and even if he did he normally consulted Chloe. That little known fact had made Clark who he now was. What was even more surprising was discovering his 'situation' had been that he was falling in love with Lois Lane. She was almost positive her ears were deceiving her!
"Yeah you would think it would be…but don't you think it might be a little too early Lois, I mean with….Mr. Kent's death and everything…" Chloe broke off her sentence, not knowing how to finish it and having to swallow hard as she averted her gaze. Jonathan Kent had died of a heart attack just a few days ago and Clark had never been the same again since. He had become distanced, had pulled out of his course at University to work full time on the farm or more, Chloe suspected, to hide there. Looking up again, she could see Lois biting her lip and knew she may be making headway with her older, stubborn headed and determined cousin.
"This is the time where…"
"Raw emotions break out…." Lois interrupted, pausing before saying quietly "…but don't you see why this is the perfect time to tell him, Chloe? I know, he might act a little uncaring right now but he'll come around right?"
Chloe sighed and shrugged in defeat, Lois truly was intent on doing this, and there was absolutely nothing now that Chloe could do – no matter how much of a mistake she thought it might be. Lois, seeing this sign of submission turned with a nod and knocked on the door.
It wasn't long before both girls were being greeted by a large smile from Mrs. Kent. As much as the tragedy saddened Martha, she refused to be let others see she was so put down by it. Martha knew Jonathan would have wanted her to carry on as always and keep the positive memory of him alive…Lois always commended her for her strength and she suspected a lot of that strength had grown from being with Jonathan for so long.
"Lois…Chloe…" The redness and the missing sparkle in her eyes suggested something far from happiness, although she did her best to be cheerful and inviting to both of the visitors. "Come in."
Chloe tried to give Lois a subtle warning stare as they headed inside, knowing Lois' mouth often ran itself before her brain could catch up with what it was saying. However Martha, being as observant as she was, narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
"Is something wrong?"
"No." Lois quickly cut in before Chloe could say anything, smiling. "Um…do you know where Clark is?"
Chloe shook her head behind Lois' back. She could see that Martha wasn't in a good a state as she tried to portray, but Lois as blunt as ever didn't even bother to ask about her and how things were going, jumping straight to the point. She loved her cousin, but sometimes she could be so painfully blunt.
"Yes…He…He's in the barn." Martha replied, her voice wavering a little as she looked to Chloe more than Lois. Of the two girls, Chloe had become a lot closer to the family and she needed someone now to express her concerns for Clark to, someone she knew could talk to him in the way Clark needed. "He hasn't come down for a long time…He refuses to eat and he can hardly sleep." She sighed, trying to gather her strength before continuing, failing though as tears welled in her eyes. "The worst part is that he won't talk to me."
Lois bit her lip and averted her gaze, while Chloe nodded and reached out, taking Martha's hand and squeezing it softly. Martha shouldn't have to be facing this alone, why couldn't Clark see that? She had already lost her husband and right now the last thing she needed was to be feeling like she was losing her son too…something had to be done. But before Chloe could ask if there was anything she could do, Lois once more butted in.
"I'll talk to him." She stated confidently, turning quickly and starting to head out to the barn. Chloe bit her lip, noticing Mrs. Kent's worried gaze following and quickly hurried after her with an apologetic smile, grabbing Lois' arm and pulling her aside. She hissed quietly to her.
"Lois…I really don't think it's your place to…" Chloe began, but once again Lois interrupted her. She could see her opportunity, and she was going to take it.
"Look, I don't like seeing Mrs. Kent suffering anymore than you do because of Clark; he needs to know when enough is enough." She hastily stepped outside before Chloe could comment any further.
The barn had always quiet and desolate but today, it seemed to have taken on a much stronger and deeper effect. It seemed as if the barn could feel the same emotions that had been emanating throughout the Kents' household after Jonathan's death….like something vital was missing from it. Lois looked around and frowned, before heading up to the hayloft, Clark's little hideaway where she knew Clark would be. Sure enough, he was standing by the makeshift window, gazing up at the sky solemnly with her back to her. Coughing a little, she said with her arms folded across her chest, a small teasing smirk playing on her lips.
"You know Clark; this place looks a little bleak and boring. I think you're starting to rub off on it."
It wasn't meant as an insult, rather as a playful remark, a challenge for Clark to say something witty back…but Clark only sighed and shook his head as he closed his eyes. This was something he seriously didn't need right now, he just wanted to be as alone as he felt.
Lois' arms dropped to her sides as Clark only sighed, frowning a little and seeing now exactly what Chloe and Martha had been saying…Clark wasn't himself…
"Clark? Are you okay? This is the part where you say 'It has to be your doing, Lois….'"
"Lois, I just don't need this right now, alright." Clark said in a firm, almost icy tone, hoping that would make her leave him alone, as it had done with his mom and Lana, as much as he hated to do it. Lois however didn't seem to take the hint so easily, only nodding understandably and standing beside him instead.
"I know Clark…but your mother's worried sick about you. She's already miserable because of your father's death and she doesn't need the same thing from you." Gently, she laid her hand on his shoulder. "Clark…you have to comfort her…you…"
She soon broke off as Clark suddenly looked up, his jaw tight and a burning look in his eyes – a fire and anger fueled by a grief and despair he wouldn't let himself feel. He shrugged her hand off and turned to look at her properly.
"And what about me, Lois? Who comforts me, huh?" He retorted. The tears were about to shed but he withheld them, refusing to be weak. "I'm not always the strong, confident, able to do anything person everyone thinks I am Lois!"
"But you have to be…for your mother…you know your dad wouldn't…"
"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY DAD AND WHAT HE WOULD WANT!" Clark roared back with ferocity, something Lois had never seen in the usually docile Clark Kent before.
She knew his anger wasn't really directed at her, but he needed an outlet. She didn't understand why Clark seemed to be taking his father's death as something he needed to deal with alone, or why he was pushing everyone away – including the ones who loved him the most – but she could understand his grief and knew he needed to let some things out.
"What do you know about losing someone anyway, Lois huh? Or about being strong when the only person who helped you be that has suddenly disappeared?!" Clark snapped at her, turning away from her again and looking out to the clouds that blurred in his vision with the tears he refused to let fall. What he didn't expect however, was the soft reply he got in return.
"You don't want to go there, Clark." Lois muttered distantly from behind him. Clark frowned a little and turned his head to look at her skeptically. Seeing she had caught his attention, Lois continued in a soft tone of voice – one that very few ever heard. "My mother was always the one who tried to hold the family together. My father was never home and when he was, he was always busy. My sister," she chuckled, "she had her own life but my mother was the one who was always there for me. She was the one who always explained our father's absence. She was the one who comforted me when I was sad, lonely…heartbroken…the fact is that she was always there." She gazed out at the beautiful sunset that seemed to put an orange blanket over the sky.
"When she died, I felt so alone. When I was sad, no one was there to comfort me. When I was angry, no one was there to sedate me. When I was heartbroken, no one was ever there to tell me that it wasn't the end of the world. No one. It was just me."
Silence reigned between them, Clark not knowing what to say and feeling slightly awkward on top of everything else. Not only had he made himself feel worse now, but he had brought Lois down with him. He glanced outside again at yet another sunset that marked the end of another day without his father, his guiding light…what was once beautiful was now tarnished to him…it was no longer something to be enjoyed…but just a reminder that time continued on for everyone else while to him it seemed to just stand still. He glanced up again as Lois started speaking again.
"So, I do know what it feels like to lose someone and I know damn well how it is when you have to be the strong one…cause its what I have been all my life..." She bitterly finished.
The empty silence remained between them, Clark staring at her apologetically for a while before turning his head away again. Okay, so maybe Lois knew more about losing someone than he had previously understood…but what she didn't know was how to deal with the grief you caused yourself. He had caused his father's death, if he had just accepted Lana's then his father would still be here…that was something no one could ever understand, the guilt that would permanently underlie the memory of that night. Swallowing gently and - not removing his gaze from the clouds which he wished he could fly to - he said quietly.
"Lois, I think you should leave."
Lois's jaw dropped softly as she looked at him, as the words hit her ears...after all that…after all that, he still wanted to be left alone? She could relate to his problems, she could comfort him…but he was pushing her away just like he always did. Her eyes flashed with anger and frustration that Clark didn't see before she turned on her heels and made her way down the stairs. Upon reaching the last step, she turned again and said to his back before retreating hurriedly down the rest of the stairs.
"You know Smallville…sometimes it doesn't hurt to let other people in…especially when they understand at least some of what you're going through…Your only human…you can't do everything alone."
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Chloe worriedly paced the kitchen floor, glancing over at Martha who was sipping her tea silently and looking dismally into space. Chloe sighed and had to admit, to a degree Lois was right, something did have to be done about Clark's behaviour. It was eating Martha up and what Clark doing wasn't healthy either…but then again she had a horrible feeling that Lois was not going to be the one to be able to sort him out. She looked at her watch for the third time; it had been around ten minutes since Lois went up to the barn. God only knows what happened there and Chloe was very anxious to find out.
They both heard the loud slam of the front door and, not missing a beat, Martha and Chloe rushed into the living room to be greeted by Lois smiling at them… Chloe however noticed the slight glimmer of tears in her eyes.
"Lois….what happened?" Chloe asked hesitantly but softly. Her anxiety for news was suddenly demolished when she saw Lois's miserable demeanor. Lois just shook her head and headed to the kitchen.
"Lois, you're crying." Martha said just as gently, handing her a tissue. She tried not to sound too surprised though to say she wasn't would have been a lie…she had never seen Lois cry. "What did he say to you? What did you do?"
Lois set her mouth in a grim line and angrily wiped her tears away.
"You were right, Chloe." She said, trying to maintain her strong voice even though anyone could tell it was dangerously near to cracking. "It wasn't my place at all."
Martha tried to comfort her again but once more Lois shook her head with a slight sniff, looking to Chloe. "I…I want to go…I'm sorry Mrs. Kent"
Martha nodded understandingly and gently thanked her for at least trying with Clark, walking them outside to bid them farewell. "Bye, Mrs. Kent." Chloe called before she and Lois re-entered her car.
Martha watched as the car disappeared around the bend with a small shake of her head. It was one thing to ignore her and his friends, but to go as far as to upset them when all they were trying to do was help….that was taking things too far. Jonathan wouldn't have let him get away with it and she wasn't about to either.
Sighing, she headed to the barn slowly, trying to figure out what she was going to say to her son. She was determined to find out what Clark had done to hurt Lois, but at the same time she didn't want to make his feelings any worse, didn't want to push him away any further. One thing was for certain though, this time she wasn't going to let Clark ignore her.
She entered the barn with a swallow, it still to her smelled like Jonathan's aftershave, still held lingers of his presence from the coat still hanging on the peg to the wood shavings lingering on the floor from his last project. Biting her lip, she called out softly to the rafters and the loft, hoping Clark would listen to her.
"Clark, sweetheart, I need to talk to you."
She didn't hear a response… he was ignoring her again.
"Clark, please."
Again, no response. Shaking her head, she climbed up the creaking old stairs.
"Clark…"
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw no one in the loft.
"Clark?" She called out.
She turned around but no one was behind her, she hurried over to the couch but he wasn't lying on it. She went back down the stairs to check all around the barn…There was no one there…she was alone.
Swallowing hard with tears welling inside her eyes for what had to be the thousandth time in the past few days; she ran inside her house and hurried up the stairs to Clark's room. She knocked on the door and asked with a wavering voice.
"Clark…Clark, are you there...Clark please…"
She opened the door…The room was empty. She hurried down to the bathroom, her and Jonathan's bedroom, the guest room and back down to the kitchen…There was no one in any of the rooms…there was no one in the house.
She ran outside and called for him, screaming out his name desperately as she ran through the corn fields…but there was no answer.
He wasn't there.
She sat down on the steps to the porch and put her face in her hands, sobbing hard as tears rolled down her cheeks. She couldn't help it, she couldn't stand it. The loneliness that was encroaching on her life was suffocating her. She didn't want to be strong anymore, she couldn't strong anymore. She wanted Clark back…but more than anything she wanted to feel arms around her again, holding her close and whispering in her ear that everything would be okay. She wanted to hold on and rest her head against a strong muscular chest, she wanted to run her hands through sandy blonde hair…she wanted words of love and protection to sing through her ears like the summer breeze…more than anything…she wanted Jonathan back.
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