I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters. However, I do own this stupid fanfic because I don't think anybody wants it
"Sammy!" Dean shouted suddenly, frowning at the book he was holding with his eyes crossed.
"What?!" Sam replied, leaning out of the chair and looking concerned.
"Do we have pie?" Dean asked, attempting to do the 'kicked puppy' impression. Sam sighed loudly and proceeded to give Dean a bitchface with raised eyebrows.
"Of course not," Sam said, his expression practically screaming 'Go fuck yourself'
"Why not?" Dean questioned. Sam marvelled at Dean's ability to express so much rage in just two words.
"Because there is no pie. I've checked," Sam said. "Yes, I have checked everywhere" he added when Dean raised his left eyebrow and scowled.
"Are you sure? Because last time I sent you to get pie, you returned with a Black Forest gateau," Dean responded, throwing his book at Sam and growling gently when he missed. "Not that it wasn't nice," he hastily added as a reply to Sam's bitchface being turned up," it's just it isn't pie. I wanted pie"
"Cake's kinda like pie, right?"
"Cake's like pie the same way you're awesome. Not even a little bit"
"Go fuck yourself"
". . . Bitch"
"And this is why you never have a girlfriend, Sammy," Dean said, three hours later when Sam had finally stopped sulking, or was actually looking in Dean's direction and not ignoring him. "You're a bitch"
Sighing, Sam aimed a vicious bitchface at Dean.
"You are. Why else would I refer to you as 'bitch'?"
"Because you're a complete and utter fucking dick?"
"Da fuck is wrong with you?"
Sam didn't reply in a conventional way, responding with another bitchface.
"See? Those bitchfaces are proof you're a bitch"
"Go away"
"So you're talking to me now! Fantastic!"
"You've been watching Doctor Who again, haven't you?"
"Yeah. So?"
Sam immediately proceeded to throw books at Dean while screaming random words. The words were rude at the beginning but devolved into screaming about Cas and Dean's unresolved sexual tension and why they should just have sex already.
