This collection of one shots were for contests hosted by a friend on DeviantART. She is a very talented artist with so many great ideas and did so much art for me. And I thought I might as well share the stories here.

Ratchet & Clank belong to Insomniac Games.


1 - Get that Underwear On!

Ratchet didn't know whether to be slightly panicked or to be rolling on the floor in laughter. He had come home to find a grey and white lombax in nothing but a bath towel scowling at him from the couch. At first, he was overcome with shock and anger at this stranger until the lombax clarified that it was actually his best friend, Clank. Apparently, Clank had been exposed with some kind of chemical Ratchet had taken home to see if he could use it to make a new kind of rocket fuel. For some strange, unexplainable reason, the chemical turned the robot into the last organic life he touched, which was Ratchet. Now, the grey companion was a lombax himself and was not at all liking this predicament.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Clank finally asked. "Or are you going to help me balance?" He made his point by standing up, or at least trying to stand up. Because of his new weight and MUCH longer legs, the robot-turn-organic was struggling to stand straight, with his knees looking like they're about to give in.

"Okay, hold on a second," Ratchet said, steadying him a bit with a hand on his friend's back and another on his stomach. "I don't know much about biology or physics, but I do know that you will need to try on your own soon."

"Do you think I don't know that?" With Ratchet's help, Clank was able to get to the kitchen. Unfortunately, Clank's towel dropped. Ratchet looked down, unexpectedly seeing something he shouldn't see. He let out a scream of shock, accidentally dropping Clank onto the tile floor.

"Dude, seriously?!" The yellow lombax covered his eyes and his reddening face.

"It wasn't my fault!" Clank too was beginning to blush in embarrassment. While he knew that male creatures have places no one should see, it was still embarrassing. "All I had available was a freaking towel!"

"Stop whining!" Ratchet yelled. "I am NOT doing any more for you until you put some clothes on!"

"And how am I supposed to that when I can't even walk right?!" The young adult groaned and massaged his temple.

"I'll be right back. We can buy you your own clothes when you're able to move on your own." With that, Ratchet disappeared into his bedroom. Clank's now-good lombax hearing allowed him to hear his companion rummaging through his drawers and lightly cursing over the situation. In another minute or so, the yellow feline came out with a simple green sweater, a silver grey vest, blue jeans and a pair of black boxers. Without looking, he tossed them onto the grey lombax. "Don't expect me to help you get dressed. You should know." Clank looked through the clothes, inspecting them.

"Uh…" The white-striped feline lifted up the underwear.

"I'm DEFINITELY not helping you with that!" His friend's face was red again and he scurried to the other room. Clank sighed, knowing that Ratchet really won't do anything until he's presentable. It took a couple of minutes to figure out the combination, but the robot-turn-organic finally got the clothes on right. He though rolled up the sleeves of the sweater and his jeans since they were a little long for his limbs.

"Well, that wasn't so hard. Ratchet, I'm done. You can come back now." In a few minutes, the yellow hero returned to the kitchen. He gave his friend a small smile, followed by a chuckle.

"I thought those could be a little big. Ah, we'll get something more fitting later." Before Ratchet could head to the fridge, Clank gave him a pout while crossing his arms. "What?"

"Can't walk, remember?"

"Sheesh. Talk about lazy."

"I'm not lazy!" Clank argued before his friend helped him stand up.


2 - Time for Lunch

Clank groaned as he laid himself on the couch. Ratchet had been helping him learn how to move around on his much longer legs, which took up the whole morning. Now he was beyond exhaustion. How did organics move around so fluently on nothing more than flesh and bones? That would forever confuse the robot-turn-lombax.

"Clank, could you not hog the whole couch?" Ratchet asked, his green eyes narrowed at his friend.

"My body aches like nothing before, Ratchet. I don't like it."

"That's no excuse. And I suggest you sit up more, unless you want the couch covered in feline hair. You know what a pain it is to get it out of cloth furniture." Clank cringed at the thought. Remembering when he had to clean a large wad of Ratchet's fur off the couch wasn't helping. It took weeks to get it out. How it happened, he never dared to ask.

"Fine." As the grey lombax sat up, there was a low rumble. Clank looked around with a startled expression "What was that?" Ratchet smirked as he sat down next to the robot-turn-organic.

"I don't know. Maybe an explosion far away, or a tiny earthquake."

"Not helping, Ratchet!" The rumble came again, only louder.

"Okay!" the mechanic laughed, unable to contain himself. "That was you! You're hungry!"

"I'm…"

"Come on, you've seen me need to eat before! I thought you knew we organics need to eat."

"I-I do know that! But since I now can't just recharge myself, it's quite new to me in experience!" The mechanic facepalmed with a groan.

"Well, let this first time be a good one with no complaints. I'll whip up a lunch I learned on Veldin." Once again, Ratchet disappeared into the kitchen. Clank could hear the light clambers of the cupboards and the fridge door, followed by the sound of the stove turning on.

In a few minutes, a smoky, spice smell filled the living room. Clank felt something trickle down his chin and wiped it off. His green eyes widened when he realized the wet substance was saliva. He never felt so embarrassed. Clank was drooling.

"Lunch is served!" Ratchet called. Clank quickly wiped the drool on the back of the sweater as the yellow lombax came into the room with two plates of sandwiches, one for each of them. The wheat bread was grilled so it was a golden brown color with the reddish meat still sizzling a little from the heat of the stove. "It's a simple horny toad meat sandwich with a few spices native in Solana. Thank Sasha for sending these as a reminder of Veldin. It's been a while since we've been there."

"Well, maybe when I get a better handle of this new form, we can see if Aphelion can reach that far." Clank's stomach growled again, making Ratchet almost burst out laughing. The robot-turn-organic blushed in embarrassment again.

"Here you go." The mechanic handed his friend the ceramic plate. Clank felt a bit bewildered and spooked by the sudden buildup of saliva in his mouth. Hoping the food would make him stop looking like a malnourished beast, he quickly bit into the sandwich.

Boom.

It was… he couldn't even describe the heat and taste. In a few seconds, the plate was empty. Ratchet looked rather surprised of the grey lombax, until Clank started making a rasp.

"Oh blargs!" Quickly, the yellow hero wrapped his arms around his choking friend and squeezed. After a few strong squeezes, a tiny bone flew out of Clank's throat and he couched in discomfort. "You alright?"

"I've… been through worse," the white striped feline replied with a raspy voice. Then, he realized that Ratchet had pulled him onto his lap while getting the bone out with his arms still around him, causing blush to return to his face. "Uh, Ratchet, you can let go now."

"Why? You looked comfy." A growl escaped the grey feline.

"Knock it off!" With that, Clank yanked himself away from his friend's hold.


3 - Hygiene is Necessary

Clank glared downwards. When he was a robot, he enjoyed this part of the day. Now, his new feline instincts made him not even want to look at it. The room was hot and steamy. And the bath was ready for use.

"Clank, come on," Ratchet called from behind the bathroom door. "I'm really not letting you out of there until you take a bath. You stink."

"Shouldn't it be the other way around?" Clank replied.

"Nope. For two reasons. One, I've grown to like a nice bath or shower. Two, it's payback for you dragging me away from my work whenever you say I'm 'unpresentable.'"

"Aren't you going to give me a few pointers?"

"XJ-0461." Clank groaned and his ears dropped. He knew that when Ratchet said his birth name, that meant that his friend either meant 'Do it yourself' or 'You should know.' The grey lombax just didn't like it.

The robot-turn-organic looked back down at the clear water in the tub. He grumbled something he shouldn't say in a whisper as he placed the towel on the hamper. The grey feline knelt on the edge of the tub, as if the water was toxic. Unfortunately, his balance was still not the best and he found himself falling into the small pool.

Ratchet could hear a loud scream/meow and a splash from the living room. All he could do was chuckle.

"Just like my first bath."

Back in the bathroom, Clank sat up and coughed the water out of his lungs.

"Aw, bolts." The white striped lombax inspected his now soaked fur. It certainly felt different than when he was a robot. The water would just run down his metal frame. With his fur, the water clung to the little hairs on his body. It felt uncomfortable and yet… nice and refreshing. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. Then, he started to notice the water getting a little cold.

"Better wash up and get it over with." Finding Ratchet's bath soaps and conditioner (specially made for lombax fur), Clank hastily cleaned himself from head to toe. At one point, the water got in his ear, which felt VERY uncomfortable. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the bubbles from the soap that was spreading across the bathroom floor and through the cracks of the door.

"CLANK!" Ratchet's shout rang. The bathroom door was slammed open, revealing an angry, yellow lombax. Clank suddenly thought that the water had just gone completely cold just from his friend's rage. "Did you go crazy with the soap?!" The robot-turn-organic tried hiding behind the veil of bubbles in the tub. "There's suds all over the floor! What are you, a bubble-happy four year-old?!"

"I-it's not my fault! I didn't notice!" Suddenly, a large amount of hot water poured down on the grey lombax's head. "Ouch!" Clank stood up and glared at the mechanic, who was holding a metal bucket. "Alright, first you turn me into a lombax, make fun of me unable to walk, and now you're making me take a bath! What more embarrassing things do you want me to do?!"

Clank didn't expect Ratchet to suddenly turn around, looking almost horrified.

"How about getting the towel back on?" The grey feline looked down at himself and his face went flustered.

"Then GET OUT!" That was enough for the two to switch roles and Ratchet dashed out of the bathroom. However, he did make a mental note: NEVER leave Clank alone with extra-sudsy soap.