Discussion Time

"But it's all so improbable."

"Well, yes, but its good entertainment."

"Yeah but…well, take The Rock as an example."

"What about him?"

"Well look at him for God's sake. Nobody is that cool all the time."

"The Rock is though. That's part of the gimmick."

"I don't hold with all that gimmick stuff. I like wrestling, not a load of characters. And some of the things he says…"

"Like what?"

"Well, I don't like the whole 'sticking things up the candyass' business."

"Why not? It's funny."

"Well, yeah, and the fans like it, but…"

"But what?"

"It doesn't make sense. Remember that time he said that Undertaker had to shove his head up Big Show's ass?"

"Yeah, that was funny as hell."

"Yeah but, if you think about it, 'Taker already had his head up his own ass. So it wouldn't be possible."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just before King of the Ring, The Rock said that 'Taker had to shove his own head up his candy ass."

"So?"

"So, therefore, he would not be able to stick his head up Big Show's ass, because it was already up his own ass."

"I think you are taking this a little bit too literally."

"No, no, I'm just saying that it wouldn't be possible. It doesn't make sense."

"It's not supposed to make sense! Its just entertainment!"

"What about when he comes back?"

"What? Now I'm totally confused."

"You know, when he says 'Finally, The Rock has come back to wherever,' in his interviews.

"I didn't know there was such a place as 'wherever'. Is it in Texas?"

"Look, I'm serious!"

"What, may I ask, is your problem with it?"

"Well…he says it even if he's never been there before."

"Here we go again…"

"No, no, hear me out…he can't 'come back' if he's never been in the first place."

"Oh please…it's not meant literally!      It's just a catchphrase! For Christ's sake…"

"Ok, ok, fine. What about the memory problems?"

"What?"

"Y'know, the wrestlers all seem to act like they had brain tumours for breakfast. Everyone in the damn Fed has been screwed by someone at some time or another, yet then they get back together as if nothing ever happened."

"Yes, but…"

"Look at The Rock 'n' Sock Connection, for example. Did Mankind just forget what The Rock did to him at Survivor Series, hmm? Has he forgiven him for continually screwing him out of the Title? Hmmm? Well?"

"Er…he's mended his ways, though, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, sure he has. That's what everyone said after The Rock left The Nation, and then what happened? He joined The Corporation!"

"Yes, but now the people love him. He can't turn heel again."

"Why not? What's to say he won't turn on Mankind again? Or join up with the McMahon's again?"

"Well…because he can't. The WWF needs The Rock as a face until Austin comes back."

"Alright then, answer me this…why does The Rock keep getting screwed out of the title if the fans love him so much?"

"Well, I guess because the time wasn't right for him to win it. Royal Rumble, or Wrestle Mania, maybe…"

"I'm not convinced."

Vince rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Dwayne, please go away. I hate it when you get in these little moods of yours."

"Well, I'm right though! None of it makes sense!"

"Please, Dwayne. You've got millions of fans at your feet and your complaining?"

"That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about…these millions of fans of mine, are we absolutely certain that I have millions, because I feel like I'm lying every time I go out there…"

Vince sat back in his chair and sighed. It was going to be a long day.