My Angel

'Everyone's always told me that I'm like a little angel. That I'm just so cute and sweet. That I look like a cherub. Yes, I guess it's true. I can see where they get that from. My hair is the color of and my face is the same shape as those department store cupids you often see. But, the truth is, I'm not the perfect angel everyone thinks me to be. I'm far from perfect. I've lived a sheltered life for far too long, with all of my sisters and servants parents in our desert mansion. Yes, I've seen wars, and I've been injured in said wars. My father is dead now, and I'm officially "the man of the house." But, that's nothing. So many people have sacrificed their lives for peace. People have been raped; beaten; tortured; had their lives, memories, and loved ones stolen from them because of fighting for peace. My heart hurts when I think about those people, the ones that have lost so much. They go on living their lives, hiding their pain so that others can't see it. Those people are the real angels, not me. They've survived all that, and they're still alive. They've never given up on life, they don't ever show weakness or fear. I wish I could take their pain away...' Quatre sighed, and continued to play his violin, lost in his thoughts. He was totally oblivious to the world around him.

Trowa paused in the hallway outside Quatre's study. That piece he was playing...every note of it was sad. What was depressing Quatre so? He debated about entering the room, but decided that he'd wait until Quatre was finished. Then, Trowa had an idea. He rummaged around in his duffelbag (he was taking a little vacation from the circus) and found his flute. He silently opened the door to the study, and slipped in without Quatre noticing, then began to play in tune with Quatre.

At first, Quatre didn't notice the woodwind instrument playing in tune with his violin, but he soon realized where the gentle, haunting notes were coming from. He stopped playing, and dropped his violin. "Trowa!" Before either of them knew what was happening, Quatre had thrown his arms around Trowa's waist, nearly squeezing the breath out of him. "I'm glad to see you too, Little One." Trowa returned the hug, greatful for a warm welcome.

It had been nearly a year since they had last seen each other, after they had defeated Mariemeia. Trowa had been on tour with the circus, and Quatre had been busy with his home life and occasionally assisting Relena with peace negotiations. Things seemed to finally be peaceful, but all five boys still kept their Gundams, just in case the need rose for them to be used again.

"Trowa-oh, I've missed you! You never write or call," Quatre waved his finger in mock anger at his friend. "Have you finally taken a break from the circus?"

"Hai. I decided to take some time on my own, since we're taking the winter off this year anyway."

"Well, it's good to see you." Quatre smiled up at his friend. "What is everyone else doing with their vacation?"

"Well, I know Catherine decided to go to Florida, I think our Ringmaster is going too..."

"And you didn't want to go with Catherine?" Quatre was a bit confused.

"No."

Quatre smiled again. "Well, I'm glad you're here! Feel free to stay as long as you like. Hey, if you like, I can call Duo and Heero and Wu-fei to come here. I'm sure they all miss seeing you too!"

"Whatever you want," Trowa stated simply.

Quatre knew that Trowa missed the others, even if he never said it. Besides, it was about time for a reunion outside of battle grounds. He saw Duo often enough, but never Heero or Wu-fei. He had no idea what they had been up to. He knew vaguely where Wu-fei was (working with Sally Po), and that Heero could usually be found lurking in the shadows somewhere around Relena. Quatre smiled to himself as he wondered when those two would finally announce their real feelings for eachother.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing really." Quatre then explained to Trowa that he had been thinking about Heero and Relena, and when/if they would finally realize the love they had for one another.

"Ah." Trowa happily watched Quatre talk, first about Heero and Relena, then about love in general. 'He must feel that way about Dorothy, that's how he knows so much about what he's talking about.' At this thought, Trowa became a little saddened.

"What's the matter, Trowa-kun?" Quatre reached up and traced Trowa's cheek with his index finger when he saw that tiny little spark of unhappiness in his eyes.

"..."Trowa blinked and the look was gone. "Weren't you going to call the others to come over?" As Quatre turned to go call their friends, Trowa allowed himself to think. Quatre was too good at seeing his emotions. All but one that is, the one feeling he kept hidden deep inside that he couldn't ever let out, just in case it lead to Quatre abandoning him. He followed Quatre into the hall, happy just to be near him again. 'It's been too long since our last goodbye.' He had missed those aquamarine orbs, the ones that held all the light and love he'd ever need in life. But he just couldn't have or expect it from Quatre...so he'd have to be content with being his friend.

Quatre hung up the phone and turned to Trowa. "Well, I left a message for Duo, I'm not quite sure *how* to get ahold of Heero, and Wu-fei is off in space with Sally. So, it's just us until I hear back from the others." Quatre looked at his watch suddenly, then looked outside. "Come on, Trowa!" Quatre grabbed Trowa by the hand and dragged him all the way upstairs, through his bedroom, and out to his private balcony. There was the most beautiful sunset Trowa had ever seen.

Trowa gasped in admiration. He knew that sunsets in the desert were always beautiful, but tonight it looked like the sky was almost on fire. The red-gold of the sun lapped gently at the wispy soft pastel clouds, ever so slowly slipping behind the horizon and leaving behind the velvety night. Trowa had no idea how long Quatre and he stood there. It felt like time had stopped for everyone but them. Finally, when the sky was a dusky blue, he began to speak again. "That was so beautiful, Quatre-kun."

"I thought you would appreciate it as much as I do." The blone Arab was glad to have someone to finally share it with. "I usually don't have anyone to watch it with, though." A fleeting look of sadness passed through Quatre's eyes. "But, I'm glad that I did tonight, and I'm glad that person was you, Trowa."

"I'm glad too." Trowa smiled one of his rare, beautiful smiles at the angel he wished he could have. How radiant Quatre looked under the blanket of stars that were starting to appear...

It was such a perfect night, Quatre thought, maybe this was finally the right time...he and Trowa were alone, out there under the heavens. Nobody was going to bother them, and they had just watched the most beautiful sunset in history together. It was surely the right time to...

Quatre's thoughts were interrupted by his balcony doors flying open. Nobody ever came out there unless it was urgent, and even then, they knocked. He strained to see through the enclosing darkness who the unwelcome intruder was, to find that they were most unwelcome indeed.

It was none other than Dorothy Catalonia. "Well, Quatre Winner, we meet again," she said with an icy smile. The crazed look in her eyes showed that she was not to be trusted at all. It pained Quatre to see such a pretty girl be so unfeeling. He had hoped that she had learned her lesson when they had destroyed Libra, but it was apparently not so. 'What's that dark shadow in her hand?'

Quatre didn't want to find out, but did anyway. It was a gun. Quatre became just a little afraid, and Trowa wrapped his arm around his waist to help support him. "Dorothy, why are you here?" Quatre's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Because I need to destroy your space heart. Zero told me so. If I do that, then I'll become the ultimate ruler of the world. Nobody could stop me." Dorothy sneered, as if shooting Quatre at point blank range would be something she'd immensely enjoy. And it looked like she would, if Trowa had not vaulted away from Quatre's side, and somersaulted in the air, to knock the gun out of her hand and send her flying.

But, he didn't knock the gun away fast enough, and Dorothy fired it at him. Trowa felt the bullet rip through him, and he landed in a heap. Dorothy seemed stunned as this happened, like it wasn't really her shooting. Trowa's kick sent her flying backwards, and she landed against the balcony railing. Quatre, in a lapse of sanity and fit of rage at Trowa being shot, ran full speed into her, and knocked her over the edge. After he had realized what he had done, he leaned over, as if to pull her back up. But she had already landed in the hedge maze below. The bushes had broken her fall, but now she was lost in the dark in scratchy, unweilding shrubbery. 'She'll probably be lost for days, and she deserves it...'

Trowa moaned softly, and Quatre snapped out of his daze and focused on his dear friend. He knelt down next to him, and held him in his arms. "Where...where did she shoot you?"

"In the leg, I think..."

Just then, Rasheed came out on the balcony to investigate. "Master Quatre, I heard a gunshot..." Rasheed gasped at Trowa's crumpled form. "Is he...?"

"No! He's going to be fine! I want you to help me bring him inside, and get a doctor over here ASAP." Rasheed and Quatre carried Trowa inside, and put him on Quatre's giant bed. "Here's fine," Quatre said. "Now, please go call the doctor!" His eyes shone with tears as he wrapped the area of the bullet wound with some linen, to keep it from bleeding too severely.

Then, Quatre sat down on the bed beside Trowa, willing himself not to cry. Trowa must be in so much pain, and he wasn't even moaning..."Quatre..." Trowa spoke with his eyes closed, and his hand seemed to be grasping for something...

"Yes, Trowa?" Quatre decided to take the chance, and slid his hand into Trowa's. It was so warm...Trowa squeezed Quatre's hand, letting him know how much he had craved that touch. "Thank you...for crying for me..."

"How did you know I was crying?" Quatre hadn't let any of his tears escape from his eyes, and Trowa's eyes were still shut.

"Because that's the kind, sweet, gentle person that you are...You're just like an angel, feeling everyone's pain as if it were your own..."

"Trowa, please don't say that. I'm no angel, really I'm not...Now you, you've saved my life. More than once." Quatre lifted Trowa's hand and kissed it. "You're the real angel."

Trowa opened his eyes and sat up, grimacing a bit in pain. "You're so beautiful when you deny the truth. But, you are my angel. You're the reason I'm still alive..."

"Trowa..." Waves of relief washed over Quatre as Trowa seconded the emotions he felt for the brown-haired boy. "I'm no angel. I've never saved your life as you have mine. That's a debt I can never repay. I'm not worthy of someone such as you..."

Trowa smiled at the outburst of emotion, and Quatre's tears finally spilled over. Trowa leaned over, and kissed the blonde's forehead, then his cheek, and then his lips. The energy between the two made Trowa forget the searing pain of the hole in his leg. "You're so much more than worthy. I'm the one who doesn't deserve a koi like you." Feeling suddenly dizzy because of the massive blood loss, Trowa fell back against the pillows.

Quatre was alarmed. "Trowa-ku--Trowa-koi?"

"I'm alright. I just feel weak."

Quatre slid up beside Trowa, and Trowa adjusted himself so his head was in Quatre's lap. "Better." Quatre held on to him until the doctor arrived, stroking his hair and kissing his warm forehead. When the doctor and Rasheed entered Quatre's room, he didn't want to move. And Rasheed, instead of condeming Quatre and Trowa for falling in love, instead gave a consenting look and said nothing.

After the doctor was done properly cleaning, suturing, and bandaging the bullet hole (after removing Trowa's pants and almost causing Quatre to have a nosebleed), he instructed bed rest and painkillers, and left. Rasheed offered to move Trowa into a guest room, but Quatre insisted that he stay where he was. "I can go sleep in a guest room," he told Rasheed. "Goodnight, Rasheed."

"Goodnight Quatre." Rasheed left the room, shutting the door behind him as he left.

"Please stay with me." Even if Trowa had not looked so beautiful in the soft light, so kakkoii and needful at the same time, Quatre would've stayed anyway. Just because it was Trowa.

"How are you feeling?" Quatre asked as he stripped down to a t-shirt and his boxer shorts, and then slipped into bed beside Trowa.

"Like I've been shot by an insane, blonde female." Quatre laughed at Trowa's attempt at humour as he shut off the bedside light. He rolled over and kissed Trowa gently.

"Feel better tomorrow, koi."

"As long as you keep kissing me, I will." Quatre obediently kissed Trowa again, this time Trowa parted his koi's lips with his tongue. Quatre was a little shocked at this, it being his first French kiss, but soon got over the shock as a warm, wonderful feeling spread through his body. Too soon, they parted.

After lying silently in the dark for a few moments, Quatre remarked "I thought you were supposed to be *resting* in bed." A sly smile played on his face as he waited for Trowa's answer.

And, surely enough, it came. "Who ever said beds were designed for resting?"

They both smiled at this enjoyable little bit of ecchiness, and snuggled as closely together as they could get. Trowa quickly fell asleep, wrapped securely in Quatre's arms. Quatre watched his angel sleep, determined to someday find a way to repay him for everything he had selflessly given. Soon afterward, he drifted off to sleep as well, despite his fighting to stay awake just so he could gaze at the perfect form he held in his arms.