Chapter One
The Afterglow
I thought I knew where I was going from here… I mean, I thought that I would be fine. I sounded fine just a while ago but now, I couldn't even make out my own words. It was agonizing to talk or to even moan to myself. When I tried to answer the calls of the outside world, the voices calling my name in fret; the hole in my chest would just only grow deeper…like it was reminding me of what had just occurred here.
It hurt.
It felt as if every single part of me was falling out from this hole. It was like my lungs were still there but it was hard for me to breathe normally; like they were damaged. My chest was burning like a fierce fire, spreading through my whole body and trying to get to my already dented heart. It wanted it to be turned into ashes so it could never feel anything again… It was doing me a favor, in other words… a favor that I didn't take. I had to gasp for air just to keep that fire from spreading. I had to gasp his name just to keep myself from falling asleep and forgetting. If I fell asleep, he would never come back. I thought to myself that if maybe I stayed awake, he would emerge and find me. He would take me home and reassure me one last time that everything was going to be fine. That he was going to come back and everything would be perfect for the both of us; someday…But I knew there was no reason to stay awake, either. Whichever way, I was stupid for being here in the first place and staying wakeful. Aware… that nobody was coming.
It was all gone…
Everything is gone. He is gone and I cannot live like this…
"Sleep," his voice murmured inside of my head.
I forced my tears to not come out. His voice was so fresh inside of my mind, it hurt…
Never, I answered back silently.
Everything else is a blur to me now... an illusion… a worn down memory. My sight is indistinct. I don't know where I am or how I got here. I can only make out the damp, naked ground under my body; the Earth rocking me back and forth as if obeying his commands towards me. It's like I cannot remember anything else but him. His words, his touch, the taste of his very breath… There is nothing else worth remembering than him.
The more I thought about him, the more it impaired me. I had to force myself not think of him; not to cry… to not be reckless just as he told me not to be.
I wanted silence… but I dreaded it even more as time passed quietly.
I glanced at the skies above me, the trees tangling their limbs with the stars above. It was not pitch dark after all; at least in the world's perspective. There was no moon for the first time tonight. Lunar eclipse, I thought. The darkest era of night…
I listened as the crickets hummed their songs to me, begging me to stay alive and to listen to their current concert. I curled myself up into a ball, once again, in the autumn leaves, trying to ignore their melodies. I covered the hole in my chest, trying so hard not to think of his words… trying so hard to keep everything inside, including my lungs.
"Sleep, my love," the wind whispered through the trees. I didn't want to obey. I wanted to stay here and stay awake. I wanted to stay here and wait for him to lie beside me. I wanted him to be in my presence.
I gave off another muffled cry, "Never."
It felt like minutes had passed when really, I was aware that it was hours. I didn't know the time or the day or the week… I lost everything that related to time. More voices were calling my name…
"Amy!"
I didn't answer, though… The excuse to me was that my voice was gone. I could not yell, I could not whisper… I could only make that one simple comment to the wind; his voice. A comment that really didn't matter… It wasn't heard.
I wanted to be left alone. Forever. What is the point of everything else when he wasn't here with me? What was the point? What was the point? Why?
Why did he have to leave?
"Amy."
The voice that spoke was close. I could feel whomever's breath was being exhaled. I took a glance at whose shadow was coming over me…
Shadows… Heh, it made my hole grow even more deeper.
"Amy…"
I looked over my shoulder to see a cobalt hedgehog standing beside me, looking down on me as if I were shrinking before his eyes. His face was hard to scrutinize in the darkness but I could still examine it with the flashlight in his hand. I studied his features very closely…seeing that every part of him was dirty as if he had just gone on a long run in the mountains. His red muddy shoes were scuffed up on the soles and his quills were tangled up with lose twigs. His scent was dirt, lake water, and mud. His expression was worried but then relieved. He gave a half forced smile towards me, the other half lost in night shadows but relieved as well.
I looked back at him, my face with no sentiment. His emerald eyes looked upon me in sorrow as he shook his head, as if trying not to believe that he had just found me; like it was all just a childish hide-and-seek game.
I couldn't speak, for I was still in shock from something. Probably from the conversation me and him had hours ago. The conversation that had probably put me in shock for most likely eternity… I still couldn't believe it. It was all hard to acknowledge. He's not gone, I told myself. He'll come back.
The hole grew wider, its raw edges soaked in invisible blood. The agony of him came back.
"You'll be the death of me," he once told me…
"Amy… What happened?"
His words made me shudder as I looked back at the blue hedgehog; his eyes giving off a vivid emerald green in the star light. He came and sat beside me, taking my shaking hand and checking if there were any injuries on it; to see if I had any wounds that he was not sure about.
I couldn't speak, for I only shook my head. He gave, once again, a relieved smirk but then a confused stare. He looked very different in the darkness, almost utterly evil.
"Did ya' get lost here?" He questioned; his voice just as normal as always. I nodded my head a little, still dazed in complete darkness.
"Yeah… lost…," I mumbled. He pressed his hand onto his mouth, looking at me like I was a math equation he couldn't solve. It took him a while to be totally convinced by my words.
"Alrighty, then! Can you get up? I mean… you want to be carried?"
I shivered once again. My whole body felt numb and the hole in my chest pained in woe. I didn't want to move. I wanted to wait. He had to come back…
"I'm… tired…," were the only words I responded with. I didn't want to be touched but I just couldn't move. It was so warm where I was… or so I thought. I didn't want to leave. I had to wait… wait…
The blue hedgehog shrugged in confusion, lifting me off the cold, autumn ground before running in high speed almost instantly. He didn't even give me a chance to breath, for he just ran. I buried my face in his peach colored chest, his fur giving tingly warmth through my own body and giving me a little bit of comfort. Not enough, though… Not enough. It was not the same as him.
Nothing compared to him.
The wind brushed against my cheeks… light kisses being placed on my forehead as we ran. I bit my bottom lip, trying to ignore them all.
"Sleep, my love… Morning will come and you will soon forget…"
Leave me alone…, I begged.
I never realized how deep we were in the forest until I started looking around. Blurs of the world passed by us as we ran on, trying to escape from the place where I was laying down, crying. I was so confused. Why did Sonic have a flashlight? Why did he look so horribly dirty? How many voices were there in the outside world?
We came out of the mob of trees and entered a crowded street. I could see nothing else but people with search lights, staring at me as if I were a ghost they didn't know.
I pretended as if I were asleep as the blue hedgehog walked me along in his arms.
"I found her!" He called out, the bright lights flashing through my eye lids. I shivered, the cold air rushing back inside of my pulse. I managed to stay up and recognize some of the voices who were talking. But I then began to drift off as I listened to another familiar voice speak…
"How long as she been out?" The teenage- like voice questioned; his eyes probably observant. I felt the blue hedgehog shrug as he handed me to another pair of arms.
"I'm not sure… a while. She was awake when I came for her. She looked horrible. She never spoke. She was shivering… I never saw Amy so hurt…"
"What do you think happened," the teenaged voice asked, his voice caught up in the worry.
"I dunno, buddy… But she kept on whispering the same name over and over again…"
"What was the name?"
"Sha-"
That was when I passed out.
I woke up in warm azure covers as I twisted on a rather familiar couch. My eyes were hard to open, for they were crusted with dried tears. I looked around to see shadows at every inch of the room…
Night, I told myself.
I knew this house. I've been to it various times. There were machines everywhere and papers on the floor… It was not so messy but still rather dirty. There were familiar pictures everywhere; of friends I knew… Just as I was about to guess whose house it was, a dark figure came out and flicked on a lamp dimly.
I winced at the light, giving a soft moan. The figure turned and gave a light smile, his two tails swishing in surprise.
"Amy! You're up!" Tails gasped as he dropped the wrench in his hand.
I rubbed my eyes and didn't smile back. His own smile then disappeared as he studied my expression, his face turning into a frown as he rubbed the back of his head in awkward embarrassment. He looked at me just like Sonic had when he found me in the forest… After a small silence, he closed the distance between us and came over to give me a beaming hug.
"I'm glad you're alright, Amy…," he whispered in my ear, hugging me as if I were about to disappear at any second. I looked over him and rubbed the top of his head with my hand. I felt as if I were about to break. At first, I thought the shadowed figure was him but I guess not…
Tails let go of the hug and looked at me, his face a bit more aged than it used to be. His sapphire eyes sparkled as he scanned my face and, again, smiled.
"Do you want breakfast? I mean, even though it is two in the morning, I don't mind—I've been up all night working on my plane so I really don't--"
"It's okay. I'm fine," I simply stated; wrapping the arms I had around my own body to keep myself warm. The quilts and covers were not so comfortable once I looked at them. He eyed me in disappointment and whispered a small 'okay.'
There was a long uncomfortable silence between us both. I thought about last night and how fast everything went… It all happened so swiftly, like time was just speeding right past me like a runaway train. The way his words affected me and the amount of time I stayed there lying on the ground, not believing anything that he had just said. His famous last words and the way his eyes shattered when he told me… told me he wasn't good enough…
I folded my arms around my chest. The hole was bleeding.
I then thought about Sonic and how he looked. He looked as if he were actually disappointed for me. The way his face was broken and the way he spoke when he was telling Tails what had happened. I couldn't remember anything else after yesterday… I couldn't remember last week, what I had done…
"So… what happened, Amy?" The twin-tailed asked, his hands trembling on top of his knees. I didn't understand the question until I thought about it.
"I-I don't know…," I lied, the hole in my chest eating away at my body. I wanted to change the subject fast.
"Where's Sonic?" I asked.
That kept Tails thinking for a while…
Hesitantly, he spoke, "He went out back to the forest. He's checking to see if anything hurt ya' back there…"
"Oh," I whispered in response…
"Yeah, we were pretty worried about you, Amy. You never were home when Cream came to visit you. When she told us that you weren't home, we thought that you were probably shopping or something. It then started getting late and we got worried. She told us you still weren't home. You never did come home…" His voice then lowered to a whisper.
"We gathered up search teams. We looked everywhere, Amy… We never found you. Sonic went to go check the forest and it seemed that he went through some trouble to find you. He found you on the ground, in shock. He said you didn't speak until he picked you up… He said you kept on saying the same name over and over again…"
He paused right there. I didn't want him to continue. I didn't want him to tell me the name that I was whispering. I didn't want him describe how I looked, how frightened I was… No, I didn't.
"A doctor should be here soon to check on you," Tails said, giving me a halfhearted smile. I nodded my head in a trance, my thoughts devouring my mind completely. At that, Tails skipped off of the couch and glided towards a phone.
"I'm going to call Sonic. He needs an update if you're awake or not," he said, winking. I gave off a fake, weak laugh.
Tails silently dialed the numbers on his phone and called Sonic. I listened carefully as he gave Sonic an update of every single word I had just said. I covered myself forcefully under the given comforters, trying so hard to fall asleep again. I didn't want to listen anymore as Tails said his name…
"I wonder why he left," Tails whispered into the phone, his voice very cautious. He tapped his fingers onto his kitchen counter as if impatient for a direct answer. It was too much…
Sleep then devoured me like it was supposed to.
I faded back into my sleep, this time with a dream. Or a better way to describe it… a memory. I dreamed of being in the middle of the forest again, my hands trembling from the cold, thin air around me. This dream was so realistic… so vivid with the lighting and atmosphere. It was like everything was traced so perfectly inside of my mind. The same dull trees draped over the forest floor like ragged green curtains and the grass below my feet tickled my legs as if I were placed in a one foot pile of beach sand. I could feel every single thing… the feelings, the sight, the touch, the scent… The scent that was intoxicated with the breath of him…
Next to me, I could feel the same comfortable hand fiddling through my fingers. I could feel them tracing my palm… making me lose my breath.
I looked over my shoulder…
…and there he stood.
Beside me was him, just as I remembered him from the evening before... before he had left. His ebony fur glistened in the darkened twilight, giving the scenario a much more beautiful atmosphere. His crimson eyes looked out to the horizon in bitterness as if he was waiting for something horrid to happen. But I never noticed… It was normal not for him to talk much. I didn't mind, either. That was what I loved about him. His silence…
We watched together as the sun set before us, descending and taking one last breath of the Earth before disappearing under the horizon. He held my hand even tighter as we watched the sun leave…
Then the afterglow came over us.
He quickly threw a glance at me but then stared back in the distance. He seemed tense and it was unlike him to be… I looked at him with curious eyes, just as I did the other day when this wasn't a dream.
Everything went by script from there. I could not say anything. I could not move until it was my time to move. It was like scripts and blocking… I did not have my freewill in this dream. I had to say and do everything the way I said and did the other day with him. It was a memory, not a dream…
"Rose…," he whispered in my ear, his voice mournful. I looked up to him to only see his face broken. No sympathy, no joy... just melancholy sadness. He rolled his hand up in a fist, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. A rush of worry came over my body as I listened for another word, which was bound to come. I tugged on his hand and he, again, opened his eyes.
"Amy…," he started, "I brought you here to say goodbye."
My heart stopped. This was where the hole in my chest was forming. It was detaching from my skin, making it unbearable to deal with the already starting pain. I was forced to respond…to speak back.
"G-goodbye?"
I watched as the dark hedgehog nodded his head, his eyes closed but his hand still feeling my fingers. His scent was fresh… it was something I did not want to lose. I watched as the crimson from his eyes then disappeared as he closed his eyes once again.
"Amy, I'm not safe. I have to leave for your sake. Already I've had to protect you from GUN and the Doctor's attacks," he breathed in, his face so apprehensive. He took a second to study my face, which must've been expressionless. Like I should've known… It wasn't like I was looking at myself in a mirror… I shook my head, my face turning the other way.
"I hope you can understand. I'm leaving and I'm not coming back. I don't know if I won't or not, just—the possibilities are very wiry that I will come back… Rose, look at me—"
He pressed a hand against my cheek, his touch so cold yet it left a burning desire on my very fur. He turned my head towards his face, making me look straight into his melting lava eyes. My heart ached once more, the fire beginning to take its toll.
I couldn't let him leave alone. It was a promise—
"I'm coming with you."
He sighed at me, his face a bit annoyed. He rubbed the bridge of his nose before taking in another deep sigh.
"Don't be ridicules. You know very well that I am putting you in danger. It would be better if… if we acted like we never knew each other…"
"You're crazy!" I blurted out, not controlling my actions. It was going according to script. I remember saying this. A comment that I already regretted… Yet, he never did lose his temper. I crossed my arms, taking in deep, small breaths. Again, I thought this wasn't happening. I shook my head as if saying 'no' to myself for eternity. The more I thought about it, the more ridicules it got. It wasn't real.
"You're crazy! You think that it would be better if I didn't know you?! Shadow, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me! You're not dangerous—" His very name made me shiver in the dream.
"You're just saying that because you want me to stay… Rose, it would be the best thing to do. You cannot keep risking your life to be with me. You need to live a normal life. Normal, not with me," he finished; his voice still serene. I couldn't understand. I could not wrap myself around it all. I lost control of myself.
"Then I—I'll die if you leave!"
His ears perked up, his eyes growing a fiery fire.
"Oh, don't be reckless," he said, a hint of anger in his voice. But I didn't end there…
"Yes, I will! I may not die today, right now, or tomorrow, or the next day but someday Shadow, while you are alive and you're not with me, I will die!! And you won't be there to protect me!!"
His anger flared.
"Don't assume that!! I'm doing this for your own good! To protect you from ME! So you can actually live a normal life instead of getting in trouble twenty- four, seven! Just, I'm not good enough for you, Amy!"
He stopped yelling and turned away from me, his feet heading the other direction. I started to panic…
"Don't!" I cried. "Don't leave! I need you! I… need you…!"
He stopped dead in his tracks and turned back to me, his face broken. My tearless angel, looking back at me, was another thing that I remembered clearly.
"D-don't Shadow… I need you…"
He shook his head and whispered two simple words. Two words. Two words that totally tore the hole from my body… Everything was gone after that.
"Goodbye, Rose…," he whispered. That was what he had intended to say from the beginning…
And as I watched him head towards the afterglow of the horizon, I quickly called out his name one last time and ran after him, my legs never giving out.
He turned around, surprised. I quickly caught him and hugged him in an embrace that I never wanted to end. His cold fur turned warm at my touch as he wrapped his own arms around my body, as if protecting me for one last time. One final time. I cried into his marble chest, pleading for him to make up his mind. I could feel his arms squeezing me and I could tell that his heart wanted to say 'yes' to all my questions.
Yes, I want to stay.
Yes, I want to be with you.
Yes, I will stay.
Yes, I will be with you.
Yes, I love you.
But it was just the opposite for his mind.
I felt a warm kiss plant itself on the top of my forehead as, again, he murmured a soft "I love you". Then after that, there was no more an afterglow. Next was the lunar eclipse…
And in the abyss of my dream, the play was frozen and I was the only actress on the stage. My script was lost and no more was there lighting. People with flashlights stared at me, their faces mournful but the flashlights not on. I stared back at them, planning not to stall but to leave.
"Sleep, my love…," he murmured one last time.
Author's Note: MUHAHAHAHA! New multi-chaptered story! ;D In your faces! I know, it should be in your faces because you are reading it! HA! Yes, my minions! 8DDD
Alrighty, this shall be the last multi-chaptered story I will be working on for a while or at least until next year (when I get all my other stories done). It is what we call a ShadAmySon!! D: Yes, it will have some SonAmy in there fools so shut it!! (just kidding ;-; Don't shut up) The chapters to this story will be rather lengthly (as you can tell) so enjoy it! If you want more info on this story, check my profile.
Read and review if ya' please! TOOTLES!!
