Disclaimer:

I don't own Jubilee or Logan. If I did, it wouldn't be half as ugly as what Marvel has done to them or will do in the future. But hey, that's life.

This is written in the spirit of a round robin deal that had been happening on WolverineandJubilee.com, way back when. Letters were being written from certain places with Wolverine and Jubilee being both writer and recipient. At the time, I figured it would work with what I had planned. This is a letter from Jubilee to Logan, a product of a cooler head and an aching heart, a young woman reaching out to a would-be father and asking him to let go so she can learn to live for herself.

And so begins, The Web - Winter Closing In

Logan,

Hi. Bet you didn't think you'd hear from me, huh? To be honest, I'd be surprised if you're reading this right now. I wouldn't doubt it if you just ripped it up and forget all about me. But on the off-chance...

I'm sending this out from Detroit, Michigan, though it's not where I'll end up, so don't bother going there to look. Just passing through, as it were. And I'd really hate to think you aren't respecting my need for privacy and all that. I need some 'me time'. You know all about that, huh?

A lot of stuff has been happening, things you wouldn't believe. I'm not even sure I believe it, though I'm the one living it. I just wanted to tell you I'm alive, I guess. You've probably been doubting that, given your history with Creed. Hell, even given my history with Creed. But don't worry about it, it's part of that whole things changing deal. I've changed, he's changed.

I'm not the little girl you helped raise, Logan, and even then I wasn't a little girl waiting to grow up. I'd already dealt with so much that I was more of an adult than the X-Men could handle and that's when the charade began. Everyone expected me to be a kid, ya know? So I played the part for them.

You were one of the only ones that let me, in even the slightest ways, grow. You taught me how to defend myself, take someone else down, and be scary enough to make someone else back off before having to fight. You wanted me to be responsible, so I showed you responsibility. You wanted me to be strong, so I never backed down. You wouldn't believe the bitching Frost's done about having to break down everything I learned with you so I could be re-taught "properly". As if.

I don't regret being there for you, Logan. When you had need, I'd try to help. Being "the kid" meant that I could go with impunity where others couldn't. It also meant not having the ability to comfort you in some of the ways you needed, so I'm glad you had other people to go to.

Your "you time" isn't something I'd try to deny you any more than you'd deny me my "me time". It's important that you try to find yourself and getting away from the hands that would shape you is the only way to do that. I understand that I've helped to shape you just as much as you've helped to shape me. I have wondered if you ever realized that we are a product of each other. I just have the added bonus of never being able to get out from beneath the X-Men's hands.

I've been molded so many times, Logan, that I've almost forgotten who I am. I've reinvented myself for so many people, I've almost lost touch with the reasons for it. All I have right now is the sense that something isn't right with me because I'm not being true to you, my teachers, my friends, and most importantly, to myself.

I have to go out into the world now and find me. This is a letter to let you know that, when I finally do find myself, I'd like you to meet me. An open channel of communication, as Oprah would say.

Give this letter time to sink in. God knows I've had to think long and hard about what I've wanted to say because I was so angry at you and them and me. Complicated little bit of self-hatred in a way. I've had to work over that anger. I guess it's one of the reasons I couldn't pick up the phone, I was afraid to say something I didn't mean.

I just... I want you to really think about what you want from me and what you think I should want for myself. Please know that I still care about you.

Jubilation Lee