"Hi everyone!" Samantha said into the microphone. "Edo-chanluv felt awful for not updating recently, so she thought she'd do something fun." She motioned to a giant pile of envelopes behind her in the tiny blue room. The screen off to her side lit up with big, blocky letters as she cheered, "FANMAIL TIME!"
"So… why hasn't Edo-chan updated?" Edward asked. He sat lazily off to the side, leaning against a wall.
"Weeell, her brother recently came home. And since the computer room is his room… She hasn't been able to access her files."
"And she can't access them now because…?"
"Because it's not the right computer."
"Or she's just really lazy."
"Yeah. There's that. Can you believe she hasn't updated in two weeks?"
HEY, HEY, HEY! The speakers above them blared with a tiny female voice. This is NOT 'insult the narrator hour'! Get down to business you lazy bums!
"Well. She's one to talk," Ed murmured.
"No kidding," Sam sighed and shook her blonde head.
Watch it… Edo-chan warned.
"Alright, alright," Samantha put her hands up. "Time for the first letter!" She raced over to the pile. "Oh! This one's blue!" She picked it up. "Ed, do you want to open it? Or should I?"
"Go ahead. I don't even know why I'm here."
The displeased narrator growled.
"Calm down, Edo. We're getting to it." Sam hurriedly opened the letter. "Okay, so." She cleared her throat.
"Dear Edo-chan," She stopped. "Let's just skip this one." Sam tossed it over her shoulder without another glance.
Finish it! It might be an important question!
"Meh." Sam picked it up again. "Dear Edo-chan, why is it that your story has recently changed it's rating to M? Signed, Cimmanin."
Good question!
Edward rolled his eyes.
Watch it, smarty-pants. The narrator growled. You see, I've been thinking about adding a chapter with… well… most of the fanfiction world knows them as 'lemons'. If you don't know what this means, I suggest you find out.
"Let me see that letter," Ed said. Sam handed it to him.
"Sam… this says 'Cinnamon'."
"That's what I said. Cimmanin."
"…No. Cinnamon."
"I said Cimannin!"
Stop it you two! Don't make me come out of this booth!
"Like you would." Ed scoffed.
LOOK YOU JERK! I MADE YOU AND I CAN TAKE YOU OUT!
"You didn't make me, you moron! Hiromu Arakawa made me. You're just doing a cheap fanfiction about me. There is a difference."
Sam put on a broad smile. "Thank you ladies and gentlemen that is all for today's segment. If you have any questions or would like to send mail to one of your favorite characters, me included, please do so in a PM to Edo-chanluv. Thank you and goodnight!"
The room faded to black. But in the darkness, Edward's voice rang out.
"Hey wait. Doesn't 'lemon' mean sex?"
The lights flashed back on, and Ed and Sam stared at each other.
"Of course she doesn't mean us," Samantha waved it off.
"R-right. Of course not."
Of course not… If they had been in the booth with Edo-chanluv, they would have seen her smile.
