November 7, 2009
Now I understand that the boy started it all. And, I know that if I had just stayed in school and gone to calculus, everything might be okay again. Callie wouldn't be dead, and I wouldn't be all alone. I'm not anything great, and I can't save the world.
When the heroine of the story dies, what else is left?
I'm scared. I don't want to have to do this. But I have no choice.
I shut my eyes and pull the trigger.
March 15, 2009
It was a perfect day in Tokyo, the biggest city in the world, and in my opinion, the best. It was springtime, and none of the busy business people were taking the time to enjoy it. I, however, was. I figured that since I really wasn't going to need to know and/ or apply the study of calculus anytime in my future, I really wasn't obligated to attend the class. And so here I was. As I figured it, my logic was steel.
I can hear my parents now. Don't you want to go to college, Laurie? How will you be able to support yourself? You're breaking my heart, baby girl.
I almost felt guilty. My parents were the sweetest things ever, but all I wanted to do was have a stable life. I figured I'd go to a small university, maybe in the Midwest good ol' US of A, or some country place like Italy. I adored Tokyo, but it was crowded. I needed the land. To see the sky every morning, to know hard work and love it.
And calculus had no part in that equation. Besides, I was waiting for a phone call.
I contemplated the vending machine in the alley, considering whether or not to buy the mochi covered ice-cream.
While I continued my internal debate over the ice-cream, and came up with multiple excuses when I returned to school tomorrow (I got lost. I don't speak Japanese. I was attacked by a bunch of university students who needed my help with their calculus.), the phone rang.
I nearly tripped over myself in my attempt to get it to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hi, honey."
"Callie!" Callie's my big sister. She rocks. Callie's one of the reasons I'm here, not in old Aunt Gertrude's spare room.
"Who else? Don't tell me you actually have friends!" She teased me, laughing. "What time is it there?"
"Noon." I answered promptly, and then winced. Oops- school's not out till two. I figured (hoped) that the time difference between here and that stupid peace talk in Africa would confuse her. Cal must've been too tired to notice, for she merely spoke again.
"That's good. Listen, I know I said I would be home in a few days, but I doubt that's the case." Oh, this gets good. This really interesting thing happened. I'm really making a difference in the theoretical implementation plan for the economy of Tansinia, and there's this guy I met when I was helping the senior head of the UN front translate some Chinese investors.
There's always a guy. I know how this goes. I won't be back for a while, baby. I'm so sorry. I swear I'll make it up to you.
"We were discussing having some of Egypt's tourist profit be integrated into aid for other countries. I'm doing so much good." She paused. Wait for it… "And I met this most amazing guy. He's Italian- you like Italy, right? He's a UN doctor."
There was some sound in the background, and she paused. "Wait a sec." There was a scream, and the rat-a-tat of what seemed to be a gun. My pulse shot up.
"W-what are you doing?"
"Hmm? Ah, nothing much. We're in some meeting, and they're playing a… documentary about civil strife." Oh- too many horror movies with Ava, Laurie. Okay then. For a second I'd thought it was something bad. All I'd heard about Africa was bad, except for the safari. But the only people who did safaris were rich, and pretty much cared nothing about the land or people. I think I'd heard, though, that Egypt wasn't all that bad.
It took me a moment to register Callie's talking.
"…and I'll be back in a week, I promise."
"Oh." Callie was a translator in about a million different languages, and she knew money and economy and stuff. And she made good money. But she was ten years older than me, and she traveled a lot. After mom and daddy passed, it was her or some relatives in Italy. (Italy is a big fixture of my life. I'm not quite sure if I like the country, or if I wish it'd float off to become part of Africa.) Anyways, she took me in.
I guess I should be grateful for that. But it was lonely.
Well, lonely for me. Cal was never lonely- she knew practically everyone, and practically everyone knew her.
She must have heard the sadness in that one word. "Oh, sweetie. I'll be back soon. So eat your veggies and lock the door at night."
"Okay…stay safe." I heard a laugh, then, "Don't seventeen year olds have school?" Damn. So she had noticed. Not that she cared. My Japanese was better than most thought, but my school assumed I was illiterate. So I could slide with lots.
"Don't forget to bring me something from Africa!" More screeching in the background, then a lot of yelling. I heard all the breath leave her in one big whoosh, as if she'd gasped in shock, or been tackled by a rugby player.
"Cal?" No sound. "…Cal?" There was a moan, then, "Ugh. Laurie? Gotta go… something came up." And she clicked off.
I resisted the urge to hurl my phone against the wall (Callie'd be beyond whack if I did).
It was really hard to talk to her while she was on assignments from the business company. She was distracted, tense even when she laughed, and very secretive. I couldn't even say our last name, and specific places were prohibited from mentioning. She said the company had enemies who wanted information and might try to use me to get to her. Or something like that. No matter. At least she forgot about school.
Speaking of school, a policeman was eyeing my standard Tokyo-public uniform suspiciously, and I was hungry.
Rightly assuming the ice-cream wouldn't fill a growing girl, and that the policeman would soon come over for a little talk to the foreign student about system rules talk, a belated/early lunch/dinner was calling.
I caught the subway home. The entire way a boy who isn't normally on the 1:30 subway was sitting across from me. He was really good-looking. Like, Alex Pettyfer or that guy who plays Peter in the Narnia movie good-looking. I decided against trying to catch his eye, as I didn't aim for desperate.
I was content to be in the presence of something that god-like, and listed up several different recipes for dinner in my head.
Out of my peripheral vision, though, I had the weirdest sense that he was watching me. And not in the you're-gorgeous-your-presence-is-awe-inspiring way.
In a creepy way.
Like he knew who I was and was waiting for something to happen.
