Enfants de souffrance
Mihael Keehl
Flowers always whither
This place was intoxicating, the pure white walls which echoed the painful screams, the strange behavior of the patients, small mutters, weird glances. I hated it. How could they let my mother live here? How could they let anyone live here?
The day nurse guided me through the halls, past the thick doors with small bared windows, past the hopeless cases, past the maniacs, to cell 55. My mother's room.
"Don't forget to lock the door once you exit, dear." the elderly nurse handed me the key card after swiping it and entering the pass code.
"Mihael?" the angelic, yet deranged voice that was my mother's called un to me. "Is that you?"
"Yes mum." I stepped into the small white room, on the plain bed sat a beautiful woman. Her pale skin seemed to glow and her blond locks were shining. Although her eyes were tainted with insanity, they were filled with love. "I brought you some chocolate, mum." Advancing toward her, I placed the bar on her lap and took a seat in the only chair in that depressing excuse for a room.
"Did the nurses approve?" She studied the wrapper closely.
"Nah, I snuck it in."
"That's me boy." After that there was no conversation. Just silence, eerie silence. But I didn't mind, as long as I could be with mum I was happy. She's all I had. She's all I need.
"Hey, I was thinking.. When you get outta this damned place, we could move back to Wales?" I knew she'd never be free from here, but I had to give her something to look forward to. Something to keep her going. Even if she was crazy, she was still my mum and I still loved her dearly.
"That'd be nice." she muttered with a mouth full of chocolate. "Want some?" she held out what was left of her gift.
"No thanks." Today was the last day I could see her, she was being transferred to an asylum with better facilities to suit her needs, and I was being put in an orphanage. I was told it was no ordinary orphanage, they say it's for talented kids.
"Mihael, why are you crying?" I hadn't realized until the salty warm tear fell from my chin and landed on my fisted hand.
"Oh, no no. Just got something in my eye." I lied. I wasn't allowed to tell her about the transfer or about the orphanage. The nurses said it could drive her further into her schizophrenia. I just wanted her better, no matter what the sacrifices were.
I stayed later than usual that night, trying to savor my time with her. I only left when the nurses insisted I go home.
"Mihael." An elderly man had approached me at the entrance of the asylum. "Mihael. My name is Roger, I run the Wammy's House Orphanage." his wrinkled face seemed irritated. "I am to take you there, I've already visited your foster family and all your belongings are in my car." I nodded and followed, head down and hands in my pockets.
"Hey, my name's Matt! What's yours?" before I could open my room door, an overly exited red-head popped up, his torso was covered in a striped shirt and over his eyes he wore orange goggles.
"Mi-.. Um, Mello." I was told everyone here was given an alias name and had to use it, mine was Mello.. I liked it.
"Nice to meet ya'." his gloved hand shot out and took mine in a rough handshake. "If you need any help with any thing at all, my room is just there." his other hand indicated the door opposite my mine.
"Yea, okay. I better get my things into my room.." this boy didn't seem like an orphan.. This place didn't seem like and orphanage..
"All right then, see ya' 'round, Mello." after that, he trotted off down the hall.
I fell back on my surprisingly soft bed and closed my eyes. This was too much. Oh God, I hope this isn't permanent.
That morning I awoke from a restless sleep, full of horrifying nightmares about weird surgical instruments.
Tok tok tok. There was a small tap at my door. It was probably that Matt kid.
"What?" I groaned, pulling back the blankets and making my way to the door. I threw it open to reveal a small albino boy in ivory pajamas.
"Roger would like to see you, Mello." he spoke in a low monotone, while twirling a chunk of hair around a thin index finger. "I'm Near, by the way." he added quickly.
"What is it?" I asked, slightly irritated as I stepped into the rather large office of the caretaker.
"Mello, please sit down." his fingers were tangled together and his arms were propped up on his wooden desk. "There's something important I have to tell you."
"What is it?" I repeated, taking a seat in one of the chairs on the outside of the desk.
"Your mother passed away last night." I felt my whole body lock up, I was unable to move. Roger's eyes held nothing but empathy. "I'm sorry."
All that came next was a fit of tears, and they return to me each and every night.
