Hello! This is my first fanfiction, and I know everyone hates self-inserts, I'd been rolling it around in my head for a while now, and I hope what I've written can at least pass as entertaining. I love Life Is Strange, and I could never get enough of Kate Marsh as a character. I hope y'all like what I've written, and I promise to post more in the very near future! Enjoy!

Today may have looked all right, what with the sun shining, only obstructed by a few clouds, and birds singing their usual melodies and whatnot, but God, it might as well have been a thunderstorm. It had been two whole days since my fight with Kate, and I couldn't help but think that streak was only going to grow indefinitely. It's a good thing Oregon gets cold this time of year much faster than Georgia, otherwise people would have looked at a guy in a hoodie like he had three heads. I didn't want to see anyone, and I wanted to make sure they didn't see me worth a damn either. Lord knows what they'll be thinking. Anyone at that damn party would be plastering pictures everywhere. I wish we hadn't even gone. I still kick myself for even considering the option. Both Kate and I disliked parties, but I guess she was more willing to admit that. I still can't convince myself that I don't want a damn thing to do with them. Part of me wished that it had been last night. I would have been too tired and depressed to move. I was still going to miss class, but at this point, I didn't care about anything. I just needed a walk to clear my head and go write. I was making good time to my car when a loud noise snapped me out of my blurry state.

It was the fire alarm. I couldn't remember if there had been a drill scheduled today, but it didn't matter. I was already outside the main building. Just as I was about to get back in my state, I saw a tall girl with blue hair run out the front door. I stopped in my tracks for a moment, taking into account her haste and demeanor. Something was wrong. Maybe there really had been a fire? Before I could continue that thought, however, the alarm was abruptly cut short. Students started exiting the building. I guess it was a perfect time for class to let out after all. I was about to keep walking through the crowd when I saw someone that made me immediately turn around. Max Caulfield. I've nothing against her, it's just that she's definitely heard what Kate has had to say about me. She'll want to tear me a new one. She may be quiet and introverted, but she didn't mess about when her friends were hurt. I must have been moving more slowly than I had thought, because within seconds, I felt a woman's hand tap my back three times. I jumped a bit, fearing the worst, and sure enough, it was Max. I guess it could have been worse. I wasn't ready to face Kate again after this fiasco, and I knew that a smarmy piece of sass from Victoria and her harpies would have sent me over the edge. This, however uncomfortable and apprehensive I was at the situation, was a welcome instance. She opened up with her usual kind, friendly tone.

"Hey, Daniel." She began without pressure. As nervous as I was to talk about the inevitable issue at hand, I was glad she would be the first person to ask me about it in a couple of days.

"H-hey… Max." I responded. My vocal chords were still not perfectly ready to talk with someone else, and I knew it. I wanted to take a guess at what she was going to say next, but she beat me to completion.

"Do you have a minute to talk? There's something important I need to discuss with you." She said. I sighed heavily, knowing I would only be able to keep up my cool façade for so long. I was hardly able to even think about the party without getting emotional.

"C-can we go somewhere private first? I don't want anyone else to hear." I could already feel myself cracking under pressure. We needed to leave the courtyard soon if I was to appear stable.

"Uh, sure. Lead the way, I guess." She responded. I simply nodded and gestured for her to come with me. My car would have to wait, but at least we could hide away from everyone else. We started in the direction of the lot, passing multiple students and nearly getting decapitated by Brooke's Goddamn drone on the way there. I growled to myself, thinking no one else could hear it, and we rounded the corner. We walked around the edge of the gym until I was sure no one could hear us, and as Max caught up to me, I took a deep breath and sank to the ground. This was going to hurt.

"Well, I'm sure by now you heard what happened at the party between me and Kate." I said as I forced my tears back.

"Yeah, I did. She seemed really scared and depressed in class today. What happened?" She responded. To hear that I had kept Kate scared for days after the incident was like getting shot in the chest with buckshot. My heart physically hurt at the very thought of causing her fear. Holding back my tears was becoming laborious.

"W-w-well… We went to the party, we got separated somewhere in the night, I got paranoid, and before I knew it, I couldn't find her at all. I had started texting her to try and figure out where she'd gone, but as if out of nowhere, I find her kissing some random guy. I immediately start seeing red, I…" I had to brace myself before I said anything else. "I… f-f-fucking tore her off the guy… a-and threw her to the ground…" My eyes were boiling with salty tears, and my throat was intent on choking the life out of me as I recounted the events of the night. I took a spare minute to control myself as I finished admitting everything. Max looked horrified. "And… And then I f-fucking started punching the guy as hard as I could… All I remember after that is her disappearing before I even turn around… and everyone looking at me like I'd killed the guy." I was sobbing uncontrollably at this point. I could barely finish my thoughts through my broken breaths. "Th-the w-worst part… i-is that I'm not even s-s-strong-ng-ng enough to say I'm sorry-y-y!" There I sat against the wall of the same building in which I'd paralyzed Kate with fear, broken a man's nose, and left wanting to die only a couple of nights before. All I could think about was how nice it would be to paint the wall just above my head red. I just kept crying and crying like a broken shell of a man, and even through all that, for whatever reason, Max still found enough empathy in her heart to come close and try to calm me down. It surprised me that she was willing to hold me as I wept into her shoulder in torrents after all the horrible things I'd said. She just kept stroking my head through my hood, all the while gently reassuring me. I couldn't help but keep crying into her as she pulled my head gently into her shoulder. It took a while for me to calm back down as I cried myself out, but after what felt like nearly fifteen minutes, I sat up again, eyes still red. "I'm sorry… I know I was wrong, but… I don't know what to do." I weakly stated to Max. She put her small hand on my shoulder as she spoke.

"I'm just glad you weren't arrested. This is fucked." She stated.

"Why do you think I've been avoiding David as much as possible? I'm sure he's heard of it by now… God damn it… I'm fucked." Was all I could say then. I buried my face in my hands as I thought further. "God… and Kate…"

"You have to talk to her." Max stated gently. I breathed a heavy sigh, knowing she was fully right.

"I know… I… I'm just not sure what to do or say. I can't imagine she'd want to be anywhere near me after she saw me lose it. God, she's probably afraid of me by now." I listened to myself say. Each of these was an excuse in disguise. I had an obligation as her boyfriend to try and make things right again, but I couldn't command myself to face reality directly.

"Maybe I can help you two talk it out?" Every solution she proposed, my mind was ready with a laundry list of excuses. I knew that Kate would be petrified at the very sight of me, but I couldn't even picture myself looking into her eyes. I wanted to agree to Max's proposal for help, but instead…

"I-I think I need to prepare myself first. Can you give me a little time to get ready?" I asked, knowing full well I was just trying to bullshit some more time into existence. I held my breath until she replied. It looked for a moment like she was disappointed, though for whatever reason, it gave me the strangest feeling of Déjà vu…

"I guess that makes sense, but please talk to her. You two need to fix this." She finally said. I looked at her and nodded. I wanted nothing more than to go back to holding Kate gently and lovingly in my arms again, to forget about this horrible nightmare I had created for us. Still, every time I thought about the situation, I couldn't relieve myself of the fear that my episode could mean the end for us. I was scared to death of losing her, even if I deserved it.

"I promise I will. I hate this limbo I've stuck us into. I miss us." I simply stated.

"Good. Well, anyway, I hate to leave like this, but Warren wants his flash drive back. I should probably go."

"That's all right. I understand. If you wouldn't mind, if you see Kate again, please tell her that I still love her more than words can say. I'm not sure if she wants to see me again just yet." That I could tell would be true.

"Sure, just make sure you talk to her. It'll mean a lot more coming from you, big guy." I sighed to myself as she said this. I knew she was right, and I knew it would be necessary, but I also knew she would be feeling scared.

"I will. Thank you, Max." I said.

"Anytime, Daniel." She replied as I opened my arms for a hug. She returned it, and I almost didn't want to let go. This warmth felt almost alien to me after a whole weekend imprisoned in my room, wasting away in my misery and sorrow. For the first time since the fiasco, I felt at ease, even if only for a moment. I could feel Max start to release her hold on the hug, so, however reluctantly, I did the same. Within seconds, I felt cold again. We exchanged our farewell, and as she walked off, I waited until she was out of range from seeing me, and I sat back down against the wall. My duty still rang in my head like a siren; amplified tenfold by the self-hatred and guilt I felt forming dark clouds over me yet again. I didn't have the strength to do anything but remain where I was for a while more. I kept sitting there, curled up as tightly as I could, confident no one would find or bother me. No matter how hard I tried, though, I could never silence the echoing thoughts of my necessary obligation. I even went so far as to put the most aggressive of music I had in my ears as loud as my headphones could play just to drown it all out, but not even Death Metal could abate the call I heard, praying for me to do what needed to be done. Finally, I shut off Cannibal Corpse and decided to make my way to the women's dorms. I threw my hood back, put my sunglasses in my pocket, and took a deep breath. I knew it would probably be unwise to cross right through the front lawn of the school. Everyone was surely out talking, including the folks from the Vortex Club. I instead took the scenic route around the buildings through the trees. By whatever insane stroke of luck, I wasn't spotted by David or any of the more reclusive students looking to hide like me. I neared the women's quarters, and just as I saw Kate, my heart stopped. My confidence immediately plummeted to abysmal levels, and I hid like a pathetic little coward. I cursed myself, knowing I couldn't keep doing this. I stilled myself and prepared to approach her again, but when I tried to get close, I saw the last person a man in my position would ever want to see: David. I nearly dove headfirst behind the nearest wall to hide. That man definitely knew what I had done and would be more than ready to claim my head. As I was hyperventilating, however, I heard him start barking at Kate. I poked my head out from behind the wall to witness what was going on as stealthily as possible, and what I saw filled me with the most unsettling mixture of both fear and rage.

"Kate Marsh, I understand you were at that Vortex club party on Friday?" David aggressively opened up. Watch your tongue, you decrepit bastard.

"I-I don't want to talk about that, sir." She said as politely as possible. Hearing those words filled me with fear and remorse. Surely she was thinking of what would end up becoming my psychotic break. The following dialogue, however, just terrified me.

"What's this I hear about a video of you circulating around the school? This kind of conduct is way out of line, young lady!" Hearing David bark at her like that made me want to tear him open and splatter his blood everywhere. How fucking dare he use that tone with her. However, this was news. I hadn't so much as looked at my phone all the time I'd been in my pit of despair. What could this video be?

"V-video?" She nervously asked. This couldn't be good.

"Yes, video. I haven't watched it, but if what I hear about it is true, then you're in big trouble, young lady." Every word that old, pathetic man spoke dripped with attempted intimidation. My protective instincts were screaming at me to intervene. To say something, anything to stop that man from tearing at the already frightened heart of the woman I loved. Instead, I just stood there. I just fucking stood there, petrified. If I intervened, David would surely have solid evidence to get me thrown out of Blackwell, but if I didn't, I was just as good as complacent in the breaking of her heart. I wanted to scream in that moment, but even when I opened my mouth to breathe, all that came out was the sound of me choking on my own words. "Whatever this is, I will investigate it further, and whatever happens, you better understand what's going on. Do you, young lady?" The predatory fiend finished.

"No, I don't! Leave me alone!" Kate tried to stand up for herself, but I didn't know how effective she would be. If her weekend had been anything like mine, she was in no fit state to try and fight it off. I couldn't stand another second of this. I had to do something. Before I could act, however, I heard a familiar voice speak up.

"What's going on over here?" Max bravely stepped in. Seeing her like this was eye-opening and sobering. That woman was stronger than me by miles.

"This is official campus business, Max." David attempted to wrest control of the situation. I was both nervous and excited by what she might do in response. To my delight, Max did not disappoint.

"Excuse me, but you shouldn't be bullying students." Max adamantly stated with determination glowing in her eyes so brightly I could see it from my position.

"This isn't your place to argue, Max." David fired back yet again. I was on the edge of my seat.

"I think it is. You need to leave Kate alone. This harassment is pointless." Max finished.

"You're part of the problem, miss Caulfield. I will remember this conversation." David defensively responded as he stormed off. Seeing such a big dog neutered like that was cathartic and inspiring. Seeing Kate finally smile again, even if it wasn't for me, however, was heaven.

"Thank you, Max! I think you finally scared him for once. I have to go, but thank you so much!" Kate happily thanked Max.

"Anytime, Kate." Max said as Kate started to walk my way. Despite the necessity, instinct kicked in and forced me back into my hiding place. Seeing her walk away, I still tried to speak, only for more choking noises to come struggling out of my mouth. She kept walking further and further away, until ultimately, I was once again reduced to laying on the ground, once again weeping to myself for more time than I should ever spend in that state. I hated the coward I had become. I knew damn well that I needed to apologize for my actions, to make amends, to do everything in my power to restore our relationship to a better state. Furthermore, what on earth was that video David was talking about? What had Kate been doing? Was it anything like what I had seen at the party before I punched that guy's lights out? If I'd been sent a link, should I watch it? Could I even consider it after seeing how it had affected Kate? These questions longed to eviscerate my mind. Before anything else, however, I needed to get my mind in order. I headed back to my room and readied to take a shower. Feeling the grime and grease of two days' depressed funk cleaned off my body after about half an hour felt blissful. Still, my worry lingered. I couldn't just sit around while Kate was in pain, not knowing how I felt, how I wanted to fix everything. As if to match my disheveled state of mind, upon looking out my window as I sat at my laptop, snow had started to come falling down…

What the hell was wrong with me?

Hopefully I've not painted myself into a corner of edginess, but there are more chapters on their way soon!