I always thought it would be you. I always dreamt that you would be walking down the aisle, smiling that loving smile. But I was an idiot and played you for a fool.
I sighed as I fixed my tie for how many times now, I already lost count.
As I stared at the clouds I realized how early I am, something that doesn't happen often in my life. But somehow when I woke up at 5 am in the morning I couldn't go back to sleep. So, I got out of bed and took my time arranging myself. And wondered bitterly, what for it's not like I'm the one getting married.
I took out the elegant and beautiful invitation which was designed with yellow and blue and read the words that punctured my very soul. I wanted to crumple it and threw it away like the trash that I thought it was. But I couldn't, because I knew it wouldn't lessen the pain.
When I think of the memories that we both shared, I wondered. Why was fate so unfair?
I could hear it from miles away. The happy voices of my seniors and friends, so it didn't surprise me when I suddenly felt like chocking from the hug my energetic senpai gave. I was used to it I guess. "Ochibi, we miss you! We're did you run off to these past few weeks? And you're early, that's a surprise"
"Eiji!" his counterpart and best friend told him not be so noisy, since they were outside of a church. He smiled sheepishly and apologized. All of us waited outside and sometimes made conversation while the….Event still hasn't started yet. Even until now, I refuse to call it what it really is.
But when an elderly woman came outside wearing casual clothes telling them with a big and happy smile it was time to come in. I knew that I needed to face the truth and reality of the situation I was in. "Oi Echizen, come on. Ryuzaki-sensei wants us to talk with the Rikkai people before the wedding"
I was a jerk, a fool, an idiot. I thought you would come back and be mine again. But you didn't and I refused to see sense.
When I entered the inside of the church, even I couldn't help but think that it looked beautiful. It was decorated with yellow roses and blue iris. The aisle was decorated with pure white silk and petals were scattered on the long red carpet. The chandeliers in the ceiling giving it a soft gold like glow.
If it were me, this would be more beautiful I thought. But I snapped out of it when I saw six figures making their way towards us, all wearing tuxedos and looking very well groomed. I didn't need a telescope to know who they were. And I didn't need someone to tell me they are two people missing from the group of men.
"Hello everyone, a perfect day for a wedding, isn't it" Yukimura smiled and Tezuka gave him a nod in response and Oishi being more social answered back "We're all very excited for today and very much looking forward to it" the blue-haired man nodded.
And all of them started chatting, sometimes joking with each other. You wouldn't have thought these two groups became rivals at some point. At least that was it looked like to me. I hanged back, just watching, never joining in.
Until five minutes later, it was starting.
I tried to take you back; I fought and fought, for what? For you. But you were gone, already in the arms of another. I wanted to tell you, I even thought of begging. But whenever I try to tell you, he's always around, keeping you away from me. But I never thought that it will go this far….
As I took my seat beside my friends at the front row on the right wing, I couldn't help but think that I could leave, go home and turn my back on all this. But there was something holding me back, I didn't know what it was.
Maybe it was the wedding song that was being played in the organ or the husband-to-be waiting in the altar looking nervous and fidgety, or maybe it was the excitement running around the church, waiting for the bride to come out.
And when she did, all my pain vanished for a moment and somehow I thought this was nothing but a bad dream. She was beautiful, radiant, but not even those words can compete with her. I took deep breaths as I saw the most dazzling smile on her face. But my pain came back ten folds when she reached the altar.
It came crashing back to me. She was getting married. Ryuzaki Sakuno, his ex-girlfriend who broke up with him because of jealousy issues, because of him, because he didn't trust her enough. How did it end up like this?
If I could somehow reverse time and tell you what I feel, would we still be together? If I could somehow make you see, the person you wanted me to be. Would you smile at me? Can I still hope or was even that taken away from me.
When the priest started talking, I couldn't take my eyes away from them. From the way they smiled at each other like they were the only people in the world, to the way the people laughed good heartedly at how the husband didn't even the hear the priest when he asked him about his vows.
Busy looking at his soon-to-be wife
As the vows were finished, I gripped at my seat as the priest said the words that I was anticipating and dreading at the same time. "Do you Ryuzaki Sakuno take Niou Masaharu to be your lawful wedded husband?"
I held my breath.
But I already knew her answer, even before she said it "I do" I slumped back and felt like I could cry. But I held it in, I won't cry, not now, not yet. As the wedding bells chimed signalling the end of the wedding and the start of the reception, people started filling out
I watched and sometimes played with the glass of sweet wine that was given to me. People were dancing in front of me, laughing, chatting happily. Sakuno was dancing with an elderly man with spiky and silver hair, no doubt her husband's father.
I gritted my teeth and finally took a sip of the wine. I suddenly find myself being dragged over to the newlywed couple "Come on, let's waste no time to congratulate them" I couldn't stop them when they pushed me over to them. But I was the last to congratulate them.
"Congrats" I said in an almost whisper-like voice.
But she heard me perfectly well and gave me one of those wonderful smiles "Thank you Ryoma-kun" Niou just gave me a nod of acknowledgement. When I sat down again, I noticed that Niou made Sakuno sit down as well, no doubt tired from all the dancing.
I couldn't hear what they were saying, but my heart ached as he kissed her cheek and left to go to the garden. I wasn't thinking, my feet just stood up and walked over to the place he went to. As I got their and stood for about two minutes, he spoke first, his back facing me.
"What is it Echizen-kun?" his voice was calm, his body relaxed. I answered trying to make my voice calm as well, but it faltered "Nothing" what was it that I wanted again? Oh yes, I wanted to ask him why he did it? How could he steal her away from me?
But nothing came out. He turned around and smiled "Are you enjoying the wedding?" I sucked in a breath. Was he insulting me? If he is, he's doing a good job. I just shrugged; he nodded, like he was expecting such an answer.
"Sakuno picked out the flowers; she said that she wanted to have a combination of Rikkaidai and Seigaku as one, like us" that was it. I glared at him but he didn't seem to faze at all "You stole her" I spat "I didn't steal her Echizen. She chose me and I made sure that she didn't regret her decision" he started walking away but stopped beside me.
"I love her. It's true I don't deserve her, hell I didn't even know what she saw in me. But I love her and for me that's all that matters" he walked away, leaving me in the company of the flowers that bloomed tonight.
And as I sat there wondering, dreaming, asking myself questions I never thought I'll encounter. I thought was it time to let go? Move on? Or do I need more time
Five years later
"Keiichi, don't go too far!" "Don't worry Sakuno, he can handle himself and besides, you shouldn't push yourself" as I watch Niou gently put her down on the red and white picnic blanket, I noticed the slight bulge on her stomach and of course I noticed the small boy, running with an energetic puppy.
I could tell the boy had Niou's looks and his hair, but had Sakuno's brown hair colour and if I squinted a little I could see brown eyes. I didn't want to ruin their family moment, but I didn't have to. Niou noticed me and nodded at me.
Sakuno who was curios at who her husband nodded to looked at my direction. She looked at me with an expression of surprise but smiled and waved, and even motioned for me to come over. I did, might not as well not be rude.
"Ryoma-kun, I'm surprised that you're here. I heard from Momo and the others that you were in America" I shrugged "I'm here taking a break, how about you?" at that moment her child decided to interfere.
"Mom, mom, look what I found" he held out a baby bird "Do you think his okay?" Sakuno nodded and gently took the bird from him "I'm sure his fine, Keiichi-kun. I'll take a look okay?" he nodded and just now noticed me.
He gave me a curios glance and asked in an innocent voice "Whose he mom, dad? Puri" Niou couldn't help but chuckle at his son's habit. He stood up and patted his son in the back "Just a friend of your mom's. Come on I'll show a cool trick with these smoke bombs and water balloons"
His son seemed to have stars in his eyes when he said that "Yes! Can we mom? Please!" he put his hands together and gave her a stare. I heard Sakuno sigh "Hai, hai. But no trouble okay" Sakuno turned to Niou "Okay Masaharu?" Niou gave a chuckle and kissed her on the head.
"Come on elf, let's go"
As I stared watching at the father and son bonding moment, I wondered if that would have been me with my son, if I had married Sakuno. But I knew I had to stop thinking about these things "How are you, Ryoma-kun?" I looked at her. She was massaging her belly and had a contented look on her face.
"Fine, I guess. Your son seems energetic" she gave a giggle "Yes, he looks like Haru and he inherited his father's liking for tricks" I nodded, I could tell from the way he absorbed what Niou was saying, that he's going to grow up like his father.
"And I take it, there's a reason why you're doing that to your belly" she nodded "Our second child, we don't know if it's a boy or girl yet. But we're really excited and Keiichi can't wait" I nodded. We fell into silence again. Until I asked the question that's been eating me up.
"Do you forgive me?" she looked at me but I didn't meet her eyes. But her soft voice brought me back to those brown orbs "I've forgiven you a long time ago Ryoma-kun. It's time to find your happiness" she smiled at me and I couldn't but give a small smile back
We heard something breaking and noticed the cloud of smoke that encircled around the father and son. But it seems they weren't affected at all. I could see the shadow of Niou teaching something to Keiichi. Sakuno sighed "Honestly those two" I smirked and pulled my cap down.
"Mada mada dane"
Maybe it is time for me to let go and move on
