Lost

Everyone needs a reason to live. But Naruto being alone hasn't had the chance to find his. His mask full of secrets is sealed on tightly... But can Hatake Kakashi break it? Naruto suffers from paranoia, schizophrenia and an eating disorder. Non-canon
Warnings; yaoi, cutting, self-harm, eating disorder, cussing, OCC, angst...

DISCLAIMER (Will only add this on the first chapter, but will count for every chapter…); As much as I would love to own Naruto-kun I sadly do not… he belongs to Kishimoto-sama…

AN; Hiya, I'm new to writing and stuff, in fact this is actually the first story I've ever written. So please be nice when reviewing… Also I have wanting to write a KakaNaru story for a while, so decided I would. Since I'm 14, and I'm not comfortable writing lemons and limes this story won't have any. This will also be a one-shot type thing, where if I get positive reviews then I'll carry on and add another chapter etc. I will also promise that EVERY chapter I upload will be more than 1,000 words. But... If anyone is willing to help out or give ideas for the story pm me please?. Also Kyuubi has a big influence over Naruto in my story and he decides not to heal Naruto since Kyuubi will only go back to hell where he can be re-born etc.…

Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes…

"Normal speech"

'Kyuubi talking'

'Thoughts'

Jutsu's

Naruto's apartment- October 2nd

'Pathetic monster you always fuck everything up!'a rough voice screamed in Naruto's head.

His hands reached up and pulled at his dull bristly blond hair, tiny chunks fell out onto the dirty moulded ground.
A small whimper escaped through his dry cracked lips. He shakily forced himself up from his sitting position on the floor.

He glanced around his apartment, taking in everything. Making sure there were no villagers hiding in the shadows, waiting for their moment to strike, causing him more pain.
The old floral designed wallpaper was faded and crumbling, peeling at the sides, as if it were clawing its way up the wall. Red liquid that was now dry; and also suspiciously looked like blood was used to spell out words like 'Demon', 'Monster' and 'Go die!'
The carpet, if you could even call it that, was a repulsive brown colour and was littered with dry blood stains and faded tears, the smell of was horrific.
The windows were covered by moth-eaten dark grey curtains that were acquainted with mould surfacing at the bottom.

The blonde was wearing a dark blue pair of khaki ninja trousers and a simple black hoodie that seemed to hang lifelessly off his frail body. He had creamy white bandages wrapped around his arms, spotted with blood. If you looked at him you could easily tell he was extremely underweight, to a point where it was dangerous for one's health. Dark rings weighed under lifeless blue eyes; eyes that belonged to a war hardened warrior, someone who has seen the worst of life, not a 14 year old child.
He stumbled his way across the room, narrowly avoiding the wrecked sofa placed in the middle. He had a slight limp on his right leg, not that anyone knew, if they did he could bet they wouldn't care.
He made his way to the tiny bathroom and stripped off his clothes. He gingerly stepping into the bath and turned on the shower, he was met with ice cold water, so cold it felt as if it was burning his skin, but he was used to it, he didn't even flinch.
His back was full of scars, bruises and freshly made cuts, from the beatings he received daily from the villagers.
His arms were also full of scars; they trailed as far as you could see, some deep, some only faint scratches, some more recent than others.

A shaky hand turned off the shower. He stepped out and dried himself with an overused old towel. He dressed himself and reached over and opened the cabinet, he searched for it, discovering his razor he slowly and painfully slid down towards the floor, his back resting against the dirty bath.
A shrieking sound ripped through Naruto's ears, his face scrunched up with pain and nearly fell out of his grasp.
"Gah! Shut up!" he rasped in an underused voice
His grip on the razor tightened. He hurriedly yanked up his hoodie sleeve. This was the only thing that shut up the voices and let him control the pain he receives. Slowly he dragged the cold blade across his skin. Savouring the pain it gave, it left a deep long gash. He watched silently with cold eyes as the blood poured out and began too pool on the dirty titled floor. His eyes began to feel heavy; the darkness began to creep in. He embraced it with open arms. His body slumped unconscious, the razor in his hand and the blood still pooling.

Hokages office a few minutes earlier-
"Hello Kakashi-san, I bet your wondering why I've summoned you here? Ne?" spoke the Hokage in a voice that demanded respect.

"Maa, I was actually" Kakashi Hatake replied.
The man had silver hair that seemed to defy gravity and poked up in many directions. He wore a dark blue mask that came up to just under his eyes. One of which was covered by his Konoha headband.
'Actually I was about to read my new Icha-Icha paradise book…' He corrected in his head.
"I heard about your recent student's death. And I know just the person to be the replacement on the team. I know he trains often on his own, and I believe he has a lot of knowledge on the ninja world, but I feel that he's going to be a handful"
"Hmm, I think I can handle it" Kakashi replied coolly.
"Good! I'll take you to his place now" Spoke the Hokage.

Back at Naruto's apartment- about 10 minutes after he fell unconscious.

Naruto began to stir; he could sense 2 strong chakra signatures coming closer to his apartment. He could recognise one. The Hokages as he had been visiting the boy since he could remember. As far as he could tell… the Hokage was a nice man. The only man he could ever trust.

He hurried and quickly tidied himself up, then grabbed a limp cloth and cleaned the floor of blood up on the floor and hid the razor hastily and with a lot of strength he lifted himself off the ground and shuffled into the living room. Just as the Hokage and a man he didn't recognise stepped in.

Naruto instantly didn't trust this other man. So he stumbled backwards all the way up to the wall… he pulled up his hood letting his hair dance in front of his wide eyes. And yanked down the sleeve he didn't realise was still rolled up; his heart was pounding in his ears.
'Is he going to hurt me? What is he doing here? Did Jiji bring him here to finish me off? No. Jiji wouldn't do that to me.' Naruto's train of thoughts stopped as the man spoke.
"This is the boy you wish to join team 7?" He asked questionably
"Yes Kakashi. He really needs someone to call family" Replied the Hokage.

Naruto was scared, what could this possibly mean? Obviously he had researched up on Konoha from time to time and knew that the genin after graduating and passing the genin test were put into teams of three, usually 2 boys and 1 kunoichi. He was panicking. Both men could see this and were scared he would begin to hyperventilate. The Hokage quickly intervened.
"Naruto. This is Hatake Kakashi. One of his team members died recently and they are looking for a new member. I understand you have been training on your own for quite some time, have you not?"
"Y-y-yes Hokage-sama. I have.'" He replied, stumbling over his own words.
The quietness of the boy shocked Kakashi, as he had to strain his ears just to hear him.
"That's good. Now, would you like to join Team 7?" The Hokage asked kindly.

Naruto snapped up his head, and for the first time Kakashi got a clear view of the boy's face, his eyes were dull and lifeless and under them were deep rings of darker skin that showed he had obviously not slept in a few days, maybe longer. His hair covered just over the top of his eyelashes and one could tell he cut it by himself, probably using a kunai or other weapon.
Kakashi stepped closer to the boy. He flinched and tried to press himself further into the wall.
"Shh, it's okay Naruto. Kakashi is a friend of mine, he will not hurt you." Said the Hokage in a motherly voice one would not expect from him.
"H-hai Hokage-sama." He said shakily, not believing the man.

Kakashi took his chance and stepped forward, careful not to move too fast, he didn't want to frighten the boy, he was about a foot away from Naruto, the boy's breathing hitched and his eyes became wider than before, more wild, shivers racked through his body, and shrieks ran through his brain, he once again clutched onto his hair and began to rip out small chunks.
'Brat! Don't let them control us! Do something!' Kyuubi roared and smashed again his bars.

Naruto was in a lot of pain. A stinging between his eyes, deep inside his brain. He looked up briefly, he could see the Hokage and Kakashi's mouths moving, but could hear no sounds over the screams and Kyuubi's shouting. Little black dots, danced wildly across his vision. Kyuubi began to smash his full weight into the bars of his cage. Stretching the small half ripped piece of paper that held him locked inside his container.

It all became too much for Naruto. He was overwhelmed. His brain came to a hault and his eyelids fluttered delicately shut, covering up his dull eyes. His broken and bruised body slumped and his head hit the floor with a slight thud.

AN/ So… the first chapter was 1'457 words long (not including authors notes etc.) Hope it was slightly enjoyable. I've began the first part of chapter 2. If I get some positive reviews I'll update faster. Also a big massive shout out of love to my AMAZING beta Charlotte. She made this so much more amazing, by adding a little more description and changing my rubbish layout. So yeah… thanks for reading and I hope it was okay C: