Where I come from, everything is blown way out of proportion. From a starlet's late night bender with a C-list actor to your supposed BFF flirting with your boyfriend during free period, a big production is made out of everything. I've tried my whole life to fit in, to feel like I belonged in the coveted 90210 area code. Sure, I looked the part. Hell, I looked it more than anyone else. My Chanel tote was always a little bit bigger; my Tiffany diamonds always a few karats larger than yours. My house was a few thousand square feet north of yours; my bank account always holding a few more zeroes. But no one knew that when I sat inside my all-white bedroom suite, I closed my eyes and dreamed. I dreamed of a place where everyone knew everyone, it was such a small town. No one locked their doors at night, everyone cooked their own meals, and block parties were a weekly event.

Don't get me wrong. I wanted to like LA. I really, really wanted to. My whole life thus far has been spent in boutiques in Robertson Boulevard and smiling at paparazzi that had me mistaken for the newest starlet that was bound to be yesterday's news. I went to the hottest parties and drove the nicest cars. I was asked numerous times who did my nose and could I please have his number.

By the way, no one 'did' my nose. Please.

I guess what I really needed was a confidante. Someone who understood me. I had never really had one of those before.

My mother, Blair Elizabeth Dean, is an ex-supermodel. No lie. She has graced the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I know, right? How embarrassing. She means well, but I think she can see through the fact that I feel like I don't belong here. Anyway, she's usually off at evening soirees with my business tycoon father, Jonathan Marcus Dean, III. My father is always working. I barely see him, but he really means well. He tries so hard to be able to keep us in Beverly Hills, where he thinks I love it. God bless him.

I have friends. Close friends, at that. Tinsley and Autumn and Ashleigh are great. I've wanted to tell them countless times how I really feel about living here. But what if they didn't accept me? And we were graduating in a few short months. We all said it, but I could tell none of us really thought we'd stay close long after high school at Beverly Hills High ended. Ashleigh had that internship thing in New York City, Autumn had Josh, and Tinsley was, well, Tinsley. She'd be completely fine without us.

I felt like what I really needed was someone to love. Guys asked me out all the time, and usually I went on a date with them, but it never went anywhere. Guys in 90210 are just too self-absorbed. Usually it works out great for their modeling careers (if they're good looking enough) when they find their B-list starlet and, after a late night, land their first Abercrombie ad.

But that's just not for me.

I wanted someone real. Someone who could kick back with me and just watch a Dane Cook special until tears were streaming down our face from laughter. Someone I could lay outside on the lawn with all night, finding pictures in the stars. Someone who would take me to an arcade and beat me at air hockey, then make fun of me, knowing I wouldn't care. Someone who would bring me flowers on Wednesday just because it was Wednesday. Someone who would remember I said that Whose Line made me laugh harder than anything in the world, then bring me the first season on DVD when I was sick. Someone who would still try to kiss me even when I said I wasn't in the mood. Someone who would stare into my eyes for hours, not saying anything. Someone who loved me for everything I was.

I prayed every night for that someone. Every single night. I plead to God that I was a good person, didn't I deserve someone to love? And every night, before I turned out the light and fell asleep, I whispered but one word:

"Please."


AN -- This is a new story I wanted to write. Unforgettable is pretty much on hold, I haven't had much inspiration for it. I wanted to do a romance. Let me know if you'd read this if I were to continue. Thanks !

XOXO, Lindsay :]