A/N: My first attempt at an Aida fic. Any constructive criticism regarding characterization or anything else will be welcome.
Disclaimer: I do not own Aida.
I follow the winding path down into the depths of the palace dungeon, clutching a candle in both hands for courage as much as for light. I am certain of my way, though I've only been down here once before. That was on a dare from Radames, when we were both children – he bet me that he could stay in one of the cells longer than I could. Naturally I couldn't let his challenge go unanswered, so down to the dungeon we went. He gave me the privilege of taking the dare first, since I am a lady, while he sat outside keeping track of how long I had been in the cell, and then we traded places. I won the wager… it might have had something to do with the mouse that I caught and stealthily slipped under the door to join him. I can't help but smile a little at the memory as I approach the guard who I knew would be stationed outside the cell of the prisoner I have come to see.
"Princess Amneris," the guard acknowledges me with a bow, looking highly surprised to see me down here.
"Good evening," I reply. "I've come to have a final word with the prisoner before his sentence is carried out."
The guard falters. "Well, I… I'm really not supposed to…"
I decide it's time to stop being polite and start asserting my royal authority. Drawing myself up to my full height, I narrow my eyes and threaten, "Soon my father the king will be dead, and I will be the ruler of all Egypt. And if you do not let me pass, I will see to it that you are given the privilege of occupying his cell as soon as it is no longer in use."
The guard gives me no further trouble, and I smirk proudly to myself as I sweep past him into the tiny room where Radames is being held. I am not the Daughter of Isis for nothing!
But the smile is quickly wiped off my face by the image of my best friend trapped in a prison cell. The sight is vaguely reminiscent of the time we came down here as children, but infinitely more painful. This is no game, no silly childhood dare. Radames sits propped in a corner, head bowed, his wrists shackled together by a chain that is attached to an iron ring set into the wall.
"Radames?" I whisper.
No response.
A little louder. "Radames? Can you hear me?"
Still nothing.
I begin to worry that they've beaten him or done something else to render him unconscious. Coming closer to him, I prepare to have one last try. But from this new vantage point, I notice what I couldn't see from the doorway. Radames has not been beaten, drugged, or anything else of the sort.
He is merely sound asleep.
Incredulous, I cover the rest of the distance between us in a few short strides and bend down to shake him by the shoulder. "Radames! Radames, wake up!"
"Whaaa?" He starts awake, blinking sleepily, but quickly becomes more alert when he realizes that it's me. "Amneris. What are you doing here?"
I ignore his question. "How in the name of the gods can you sleep at a time like this? Radames, you're going to be executed in a few hours!" I can barely get the word out past the sudden tightness in my throat, and I have to swallow hard a time or two before I can continue. "How can you possibly waste what little time you have left sleeping?"
"It's easy, really," he quips. Then a sardonic smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. "At least when I'm asleep I don't have to think too much about what's going to happen."
"Oh, Radames…" I sink down next to him and rest my head on his shoulder, as I used to do when we were children. My façade of composure collapses, and before I can stop them, the tears I have been holding back all day start to flow. "Radames, I'm so sorry! I wish there was something else I could have done, anything else… but you left me no choice…"
He shakes his head with a heavy sigh. "I'm the one who should be apologizing, Amneris," he corrects me. "This is my fault. I forced you into the position of having to punish us. You were only doing what you had to do."
"Why did you do it? Why did you aid the escape of the Nubian king? I could have overlooked you and Aida, but… you idiot, why did you have to go and commit high treason?"
"Technically, no, you couldn't have overlooked me and Aida," he points out gently. "Well, maybe you could have before, but not anymore. We're married now, remember? And if memory serves me, being unfaithful to the monarch is also considered high treason."
Ignoring the urge to inform him how little he is doing to help my mindset at the moment, I remind him instead, "You didn't answer my question. Why?"
Radames closes his eyes briefly, as though it is going to be difficult to give me the answer I am demanding. "Because I had to." At my dismissive snort, he continues in a tone that begs me to understand, "Amneris, he's Aida's father. Seeing him recaptured would have devastated her. I couldn't let her experience that kind of pain."
I am suddenly and inexplicably infuriated by his logic, or lack thereof. Or perhaps the green-eyed monster of jealousy has sunk its claws in – try as I might, I cannot envision him doing something so brainlessly courageous on my behalf. I lash out without thinking. "Oh, but you're perfectly willing to get her condemned to death along with you and force me to order the executions of the only two real friends I've ever had?"
I regret the words the instant they leave my mouth. His face crumples as though I have physically struck him. "I never meant for any of this to happen," he whispers. "I never meant to put her in danger. And I never, never meant to hurt you like I know I have. Please, you have to believe that."
My anger subsides as quickly as it came, and now I feel guilty for making him feel guilty. "I know you didn't, Radames. All you did was fall in love. I can hardly blame you for that." I give him a watery smile. "I just wish you could have fallen in love with me."
"Amneris, how could I not love you? We've been together practically all our lives. We know everything about each other. Of course I love you."
"Just… not like you love Aida."
He can't deny the truth of this statement, and so he makes no reply.
We sit in silence for a few minutes before I speak again. "Do you know what I was thinking about on my way down here?"
"No," he says with a shake of his head. "What were you thinking about?"
"That night we snuck down here to see who could stand to sit in a cell the longest. Do you remember?"
"How could I forget? I would have won if it weren't for that blasted mouse!"
"About that mouse…" I clear my throat awkwardly, and I know my cheeks are flushed with embarrassment. "I have a bit of a confession to make…"
Radames raises an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"I put it in there."
"What?"
"I caught it outside the cell and then put it under the door to scare you out."
He looks at me for a moment, his expression one of amusement, and then leans his head back against the wall, quaking with quiet laughter. "Well, since you're being honest, I have a confession to make about that night, too."
"What is it?" I ask suspiciously.
"I knew you put the mouse under the door. I saw you do it – well, I saw your shadow, anyway. And I wasn't really afraid of it. I only pretended to be to let you win the dare."
My jaw drops in shock, and then I scowl at him and sit up to smack him on the arm. "Radames! I can't believe you would do such a thing! That's deceitful, and sneaky, and…" I can't help smiling as I finish, "…And very sweet of you."
He returns the smile before asking, "So, is that why you came down here? To clear your conscience about the Great Mouse Caper?"
"Hardly," I scoff. And just like that, the lightened mood is gone, and I find that I'm on the verge of tears again. "Radames, you're my best friend in the world. What am I supposed to do without you? It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to be together forever. And now look at us – we've been married for less than a day, and you're already leaving me."
"We've been apart plenty of times before," he reminds me. "Some of my expeditions lasted for months. This is no different, really. I'm just setting off on a new journey."
I am amazed that he can talk about his own impending execution so calmly. "But… aren't you scared?" I ask incredulously.
He gives me a grim smile. "To death."
"That was not funny."
"I know. I'm sorry. But Amneris, I was always at least a little frightened whenever I set out on a mission."
"You? The big, brave captain? You were frightened to go out and do your job?"
"Of course I was," Radames nods. "I would have been a fool not to be. I never knew for certain what was going to happen – what kind of people we'd meet in the places we were going, what kind of problems we'd encounter. I never even knew for certain if we would all make it back to Egypt alive. But that's what makes an adventure so exciting – the element of uncertainty. Not knowing what's around the next bend of the Nile."
"You can't compare death to a pleasure cruise, Radames! This isn't like one of your expeditions, and you know it. When you and your men went out, I knew it wouldn't be forever." I swallow hard before finishing in a small voice, "This time you won't be coming back."
"I know that," he agrees in a tone just as quiet as mine. "But that doesn't mean we're never going to see each other again. Death isn't the end. It just can't be. You can kill a person's body, but the part of him that makes him who he is… I don't think that dies so easily. So you see, you'll just have to be a little patient, that's all."
"Patience has never been my strongest suit," I inform him wryly.
He chuckles. "I'm well aware of that, Princess."
"But I suppose I can make an exception for you."
"How very generous of you."
"I do try."
My eyes wander to the narrow slit of a window high in one wall of the cell, and to my dismay, I see that the sky is beginning to lighten with the approach of dawn. At sunrise, they will come for Radames and Aida. There's nothing I can do to stop them. I do not want to lose even one precious moment of these last few minutes that I will ever spend with my best friend. But I have even less desire to watch the guards march him and the woman he loves off to their execution. Am I really heartless enough to leave Radames alone in his final minutes before the executioners arrive to claim him? Do I have the courage to stay with him until the end and let my heart be torn in two as they take him away? I sit in silence, trying to decide between the two equally awful choices.
Radames has obviously guessed my line of thought from following my gaze out the window, because he tells me, "You should go. They'll be coming soon, and I don't think it'll go over very well if they find you here."
"Oh, for the love of the gods, Radames," I snap, "do you honestly think I care right now what anyone thinks of me?"
"You should go," he repeats in a tone I know well. It's his captain's voice, a tone that is firm and precise and leaves the person at whom it's directed with no choice but to do exactly as he or she is told. My stomach sinks as I realize that he is giving me a command, and that I will have to obey it.
"Are… are you sure?" I ask, my voice quavering. "I'll stay, if you want me to. If it would make it easier for you."
Surely he would rather have someone there with him to keep his mind off what's about to happen. But even now, facing death, he's thinking of what will be best for me rather than of his own wishes. "I'm sure," he confirms. "You know as well as I do that you won't want to be here."
He's right, and we both know it. But that doesn't make the thought of saying a final goodbye any easier. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold on as tightly as I can, trying to put all the feelings I can't express in words into that single gesture, and Radames leans his forehead on my shoulder, returning the embrace as best he can without the use of his arms. I order myself harshly not to start crying again. I want to make this as peaceful for him as possible, and I sense that leaving him with a memory of me sobbing uncontrollably as I want to do will not help that end. And besides, a princess must project an image of serenity and confidence, even when she does not feel it.
Finally I force myself to let him go. "Think of me now and then when you get to where you're going," I tell him, somehow managing a miniscule smile for his sake. "Don't forget about me."
"Never," he promises. Then, after a pause, two words that ring with stark finality like the death knell they are. "Goodbye, Amneris."
Overwhelmed by emotion, I close my eyes for a moment. But then I force it down with an effort and open them again to look at him. Shaking my head, I correct him, "Until we meet again, Radames. Safe journey." With that, I press my lips briefly to his cheek and get to my feet. It takes every ounce of willpower I possess to move away from him, but somehow I make my way to the door, pausing only once for one last glimpse of him before I step back out into the corridor.
