Keep Your Friends Close, Keep Your Enemy Closer
Ok this wasn't exactly planned, this was originally a project for English to see who could come up with an entertaining story that had a moral and whoever won would would get a free meal. (Based off the Canterbury tales if you don't know what it is then Google it) so I came up this this story and my friends read it (thanks to NickelPickleSible and PrussiaInMahPants for reading it! ^_^) and said that I should post this up so I did and I hope you like it.
It's a one shot and AU so u can't blame me if the story doesn't fit with the characters ok. Other than that, I hope you enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia
"Damn it! This is the fourth victim so far!" Alfred growled as he saw the mangled body of another victim of the Lead Pipe killer inside a warehouse, not far from a high school. Alfred was one of the best detectives in Southern California. Even though he could get annoying sometimes by sticking his nose where it did not belong he always helped people in need, so that's why he became a detective and with his team, they were one of the most successful ones in Southern California. His team consisted of five other men, one of them being his closest friend (even though he denies it many times) and second in command, Arthur Kirkland. He specialized with computer hacking that no one could even come close to him. Next was Francis Bonnefoy, a French maniac who specialized in…well nothing really, unless you count flirting with men and women as a specialty. However, when he was undercover, well you would not even recognize him! Our next man would be Yao Wang, a Chinese martial artist who specialized in guns and well combat. He is always on the field first when danger arrives. Antonio Fernandez Carriedo is our next detective, who was actually a doctor in training. However, his true skills lied with interrogation; no one could ever keep their secrets from him. Finally, there was Kiku Honda a forensic specialist. He was one of the best in the nation, but he is to humble to agree with it. This team is call The Allied Forces or Hetalia for a shorter version.
Just a couple months ago, a killing spree began, one that stupefied Hetalia, for they had nothing to identify the killer.
"Antonio, are you it's him?" Arthur asked.
"I'm positive. This man was killed the same way as the other victims were. Almost frozen to death, and their skulls smashed beyond recognition by a heavy object. I'm positive that if we give a sample of brain tissue to Kiku, he'll say it has lead in it." Antonio sighed taking off his gloves.
"Oh la la*, he's getting bolder with each kill. Unlike his other victims he killed this man in broad daylight." Francis concluded.
"If this keeps up, we might end up with more bodies in the morgue. Aru*" Yao said, "By the way who is he?"
"Sadik Adnan, he's originally from Turkey, but moved here a couple months after he was born. And just like our other victims they have no connection whatsoever." Arthur sighed closing his portable laptop.
"Damn it!" Alfred shouted punching a nearby wall causing a bunch of items to fall off the shelf on top of him. "Ow!"
"Hey look," Kiku said as he picked up a piece of tan cloth that was with the other items. "I don't think this belongs here."
"What is it?" Alfred asked nursing his head.
"I don't know I'll have to run some tests to find out." Kiku said putting the cloth into an evidence bag, sealing it. "Who knows this may lead us to the killer or at least give us a direction."
"And we'll be closer to solving this case! All right everyone let's head back to headquarters! I want some doughnuts."
"NOW!" everyone shouted at their leader.
"Alright, so what do we have?" Alfred asked while chewing on his doughnut.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, you git!*" Arthur yelled at him.
"Sorry, ok so tell me what you got!" Alfred ordered his team.
"Well I found out that whoever this killer is, is tall; probably about 6 feet tall with the footprints we found at the last two crimes scenes and—"
"Strong, not many people can swing a lead pipe at a skull let alone destroy it." Francis said cutting off Arthur.
"Stop interrupting me you bloody frog!"
"You want to start something you British punk!"
"You shouldn't fight, da*." The janitor, Ivan Braginski, said as he came up to the arguing men scaring the crap out of them.
"Ivan! What are you doing here? I thought you had the night shifts only." Alfred smiled at his big friend. Ivan starting working at the police department a couple months ago as a janitor and he quickly befriended Alfred. Ivan was about 6 ft tall and he could easily intimidate anyone with that huge tan jacket he wore 24/7 and the scarf he wore that covered at least half of his face, but he was really a nice person. He was very friendly towards most people, carefree, and very loyal to his job.
"I work full-time now da*" Ivan smiled at cheerfully scarring Antonio, Arthur, Francis, Kiku, and Yao.
"Really that's awesome! Now we can talk to each other more often! Oh crap it's lunchtime already. We'll come back in an hour!" Alfred shouted to his friends as he left the building.
"He cares for food a lot doesn't he, da?" Ivan asked.
"Sure…well we have to go see you later!" everyone shouted running away from Ivan.
"Was it something I said?" Ivan asked himself.
Three weeks later and Hetalia still had not come even close to finding the killer. What was worse, they found another victim but this time they found a note with the body.
" 'Я почти сделал'. What the heck does this mean?" Alfred asked.
"It means 'I'm almost done.' in Russian idiot. This isn't good, Kiku did you—"
"Find any prints no, it was wiped clean." Kiku sighed sadly, answering Arthur's question.
"So all we know is that the killer is Russian, about 6 feet tall, super strong, and is almost done killing people. Great, just great aru.*" Yao sighed.
"What about that piece of cloth?" Francis asked.
"Just a common material used in coats that's all." Kiku answered.
"Hello comrades, da.*" Ivan said appearing out of thin air next to Yao. Everyone screamed in terror except for Alfred.
"Hey Ivan! Working again—hey what happened to your cheek?" Alfred asked as he noticed three claw marks on Ivan's cheek. It seemed that somebody had scratched him or tired too.
"Oh it's nothing, my cat decided to scratch me yesterday. Do you think it hates me?" Ivan innocently asked.
"No, of course not! Nothing can hate you Ivan! It was probably in a bad mood that's all." Alfred reassured him.
"Глупый легковерный американцами.*" Ivan muttered under his breath.
"What did you say?" Arthur asked.
"Oh nothing, well I have to get going, the building wont clean itself, da.*" Ivan smiled as he walked off.
"Oh look at the time! It's getting late, I'm going to head home now. What about you guys?"
"I'm going to stay here a little longer, there's something I want to check." Arthur said.
"Ok suit yourself! Bye Artie!" Alfred laughed as he ran out of the building.
"You bloody git*! How many times I told you not to call me that! You #%*#%*!"
"Bye, Arthur." Everyone said as they followed Alfred and walked out of the building.
"Why are there so many Russians in Southern California?" Arthur yawned as he continued to scroll down the computer files. It was already 3 a.m. in the morning but Arthur refused to go home until he finished the case or at least get close to solving it. "Maybe I should continue this in the—what's this? I didn't know Ivan was Russian." Arthur muttered aloud as he clicked to read Ivan's profile. "Let's see…born in Moscow, Russia…has an older and younger sister…what the hell! Restricted! We'll see about that!" Arthur chuckled as he cracked his knuckles and went to work. After typing nonstop for about 4 minutes Arthur tried in triumph as the file opened but then cried in despair as he realize that it was about 20 pages long. "No matter, a little reading never hurt anyone…ok let's see…born in…served in the Russian military for about 10 years…had a violent history…tended to wound people with…DAMN IT! I have to call Alfred!" Arthur shouted reaching for his cell phone only to realize it was not there.
"Looking for something?" a cold imitating voice said behind Arthur. Arthur froze up as he recognized the voice and tried to make a run for it only to be knocked unconscious by the unknown suspect. "Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol.*"
Ring—Ring—Ring. Alfred's home phone rang at 3:30 in the morning.
"Coming—coming."Alfred muttered picking up his phone, "Hello?"
"Alfred, Alfred is that you?" Arthur frantically asked over the phone.
"Artie? What's going on? Why are you calling me this late—"
"The killer it's—AHHHH." Arthur screamed over the phone.
"Arthur! Arthur! What's going on! What's happening! Answer me!" Alfred cried into the phone.
"If you wish to see Arthur again, come to the abandon Asylum in Downey in less than an hour unless you want to see your friend dead." An unfamiliar cold voice growled at the other end of the phone, "I'll be waiting." And promptly hung up. Alfred wasted no time in getting dressed and in less than 5 minutes Alfred was in his car driving fifty miles per hour towards the Asylum. Alfred made it to the Asylum in about forty-five minutes and he quickly raced inside to save his friend. The first thing he noticed was that it was cold, it was so cold that it made Antarctica feel like a sunny paradise. Alfred gripped his jacket tighter around him to keep himself warm.
"A-A-Arthur! W-w-where—are you?" Alfred cried. Suddenly Alfred heard a crash on his left and raced towards it. As he got closer he could see a figure shivering greatly and when he was about seven feet away he realized it was Arthur. "Arthur!"
"A-A-A-Alfred?" Arthur asked weakly. "Alfred—"
"Geez Artie you're turning blue! Here take my jacket." Alfred quickly took off his jacket and gave it to his shivering friend. "Now let's get out of—who's there?" Alfred shouted as they heard footsteps approaching them.
"Alfred?" Ivan asked as entered the light.
"Ivan! Don't tell me the killer kidnapped you too! Don't worry I'll get you guys out of here—what's wrong Arthur?" Alfred asked as Arthur tugged on his shirt.
"H-H-H-He's—t-t-t-the—k-killer."
"What, Ivan a killer! That'll be the day pigs fly!" Alfred laughed.
"Then they should be flying." Ivan laughed evilly. Alfred stared at him with shock as he saw Ivan holding a lead pipe that had bloodstains still on it.
"Ivan? You're the Lead Pipe killer? But why? Why did you kill those innocent men!" Alfred shouted pointing his gun at Ivan.
"Why you ask? Why? It's because those men ruined my life! I was one of the greatest Russian spies there ever was! No one could catch me, but those Americans did! They found me, captured me and humiliated my country! Because of this, my country did not want to take me back after I escaped!" Ivan shouted at them.
"But nothing came up as them being spies!" Alfred yelled.
"That's because the mission was so top secret that even your president didn't know. Now I'm almost done killing all of them, all I need is little Matthew Jones, your brother, da*" Ivan said giving them a sadistic smile.
"You're not going to kill Mattie!" Alfred shouted pulling the trigger, but he couldn't pull through because his fingers were frozen on the weapon. "Damn it!"
"Time to end this, good bye Alfred Jones, it's going to be nice to kill you." Ivan laughed as he raised his lead pipe over his head and smashed the gun out of Alfred's hands. Not letting Alfred recover, Ivan continue to smash Alfred's head with his lead pipe spattering blood all over him.
"ALFRED! NOO!" Arthur cried as he saw his friend and leader get beaten to death by the Lead Pipe killer. Seeing the gun that Ivan smash out of Alfred's hand next to him, Arthur grabbed it and shot Ivan multiple times in the head and he did not stop until he ran out of bullets. Once he realized that Ivan was now dead, he rushed towards Alfred side, hopping to stop the bleeding. "Alfred, Al, Lad, stay with me. don't you dare die on me, we need you, your brother needs you, and California needs you!" Arthur shouted as tears fell onto his dying friend.
"Arthur—t-take—c-care—o-o-of—Mattie." Alfred said weakly.
"Don't worry I will, with you ok, just hold on!"
"T-thank….you….." and Alfred F. Jones was no more.
As promised Arthur agreed to look after his brother, even though Matthew tried to object but nothing could or would change the British mind.
"I promised him, so that's why." Arthur sighed as he took another sip of his tea in Matthew's living room.
"I see. It feels so weird living here without Al." Matthew whispered.
"I know what you mean Matthew it's so weird—hey the lights went out."
"Strange, I made sure to pay the bill on time, maybe it's a black out?" Matthew asked, "Or not since the neighbors still have their lights on."
"Then what's going—"
"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkol.*" A feminine voice laughed. "It seems I'll be killing two birds with one stone today. You see," a light from the kitchen turned on, they saw a girl about 20 years old with light brown hair, and violet eyes standing there with multiple knives in her hands, each of them covered in blood. "I'm Natalia Braginski, I think you know why I'm here. Kolkolkolkolkol.*"
Words
*Oh la la—Translation: Oh dear, in French
*Aru—Translation: a suffix ending (a Japanese stereotype on Chinese accents.)
*Git—Translation: a less offensive way to say Bastard in England
*Da—Translation: Yes, in Russian
* Глупый легковерный американцами.—Translation: Stupid gullible Americans, in Russian.
*Kolkolkolkolkol—Translation: a possible threat of impaling, or a warning, in Russia. However just know it's not good hearing this.
So that's that. I might post up more one shots if I have to do more creative writing in English and it doesn't suck. I really hope I got at least a B on this. Anyways please review I would like to see if you liked the story or not. Hopefully there aren't as many mistakes (that would so suck cause this is what i turned to my teacher) as my other stories. Thanks :)
-midnightmich
