Buffy Versus the Siren

[Just a small ficlet by request of my roomie. Set in season 6.]

Buffy the vampire slayer was doing her usual rounds through the cemetery and stopped at a familiar crypt. William the Bloody, better known of late as Spike, lived within it. Lately, an obsession with her had blossomed, and he turned up everywhere she went. She taunted him, was annoyed by him, and enjoyed turning him down violently. It gave her a semblance of power in her powerless life.

Tonight, she was especially eager to burst in on Spike. There was a new big bad in town. Something was luring men out to the woods and those men never came back. She planned to interrogate her willing victim, Spike, for information.

Buffy was about to slam the door wide open, when she heard a panting noise.

She stepped back quickly, in shock and ran back out of the cemetery.

She was insulted.

In the crypt, Spike was on his couch, with a lady friend.

"Did you hear something?" She asked, her red eyes glowing.

"No, no…" Spike replied hazily, as he launched into another kiss, busing his mouth, so he would be unable to contribute to a lasting conversation.

In the morning, Buffy sprinted to the Magic Shop, infuriated.

"Willow, we have a situation."

"What's the matter Buffy; any news from Spike about the missing men?"

"No. Spike was busy last night." She looked awkwardly at the floor.

"Busy?" Willow chuckled.

Buffy's eyes glowered. Spike was her self esteem. She needed him to keep up his obsession. Moving on just wouldn't do.

Buffy went patrolling again the next night, but brought Giles along with her.

"Giles, I needed you to come, just in case the person who lures out the men is around…we will know it's her if you get all spacey on me."

"What a brilliant plan….Buffy, this is a terrible idea!"

"Please, Giles, just bear with me!"

They neared Spike's crypt. Buffy suspected that Spike was being tricked by someone. He would never stray from her if magic wasn't involved.

They leaned up onto Spike's door, just as Spike swung it open.

"Slayer…" He rolled his eyes. "What do you want?"

"Spike." She said, curtly.

"Ah, Spike, yes, we were wondering if you knew about a demon that lures men out into the forest…that's really all we've got so far." Giles said.

"I wouldn't really know. I've been staying in the last few nights. I haven't seen anything peculiar.

"I bet you haven't." Buffy snapped.

"What's your problem Slayer?" Spike asked, with annoyance in his voice.

Then a girl came right past them and squeezed her way into Spike's crypt.

"Did you get it?" Spike inquired behind him into the room.

"Yep, got them all." The girl replied.

"Alright, great, well we have something planned for tonight. So, go fight your baddies elsewhere." Then Spike slammed the crypt door on their faces.

"We'll he's always so helpful." Giles stated sarcastically.

Buffy was still very suspicious.

The next morning, Buffy ran out of her house at sunrise. She sprinted to Spike's crypt, and found it empty. He was probably off pervading the tunnels and making a menace of himself.

On the floor of the crypt were empty movie cases, trailing up to the DVD player.

"Clerks, Chasing Amy, Mallrats….Dogma?" She read the titles aloud, confused.

The door of the crypt slammed and she dropped the boxes.

"Snooping now are we?" Spike's voice drawled behind her. She decided to play it up.

"Oh…Spike…" She licked her lips in a way that he'd be sure to notice.

"Playtimes over Slayer." He smirked and turned and left.

Buffy felt rejected and confused.

That afternoon at the Magic Box, Giles was running around with an open book.

"Oh yes! That MUST BE IT!" He said proudly.

"Did you find the bad guy?" Xander asked.

"Absolutely, it's the Siren! They usually work alone, but sometimes there could be a small group that work together to lure men in relationships out in the open and tempt them to be unfaithful."

Buffy's eyes popped.

"That's it! Spike is under the control of a Siren!" She concluded.

"Now, Buffy, I don't think…." Giles started.

"No, no I have to go save him!" Buffy stormed out.

Xander and Anya decided they would go check on Spike that night. As they passed a convenience store, they saw him running out with two bags and a woman.

"Hey Spike, run into Buffy yet?" Xander asked.

"No, is she still crazed?" Spike said.

"No more than usual. Who's your friend?" Anya asked.

"My name is Sofie."

"Vampire?" Anya asked innocently.

"I am a God in the dimension entirely comprised of shrimp. Spike and I go way back." She grinned.

"Well, be careful if you run into Buffy….we think she may be losing her marbles." Xander said.

"Will do." Spike said.

Spike went back to his crypt with Sofie and they made mad love on the crypt floor, while Chasing Amy played in the background.

Buffy was in the woods, staking out for the Sirens'. Finally, she came face to face with 4 large wolf like women. Willow and Tara came in as her backup and she beat them all to oblivion. They brought the lost and disoriented men to the hospital, and then Buffy ran to Spike's crypt. Buffy assumed it was a siren that lured Spike away. She swung open his crypt door to find Spike lying naked on his bed, with just a sheet covering him.

"Buffy! Get out of here!" Spike demanded.

Sofie came up behind Buffy and laughed in her ear.

"He's mine now, Slayer. You missed your chance." She them climbed into bed with Spike and nibbled on his ear.

"You disgust me." Buffy said to Spike. She spun and ran out of the cemetery crying.

Sofie waved her arm and the crypt door slammed shut behind her.

All you could hear in the cemetery was the sound of Spike & Sofie's laughter, and the crumpling of their sheets.

[Just a quick one-shot. Sleepy. I'm sure I could do better. I can hear The Princess Bride playing behind me. I'll try again another time lol.]

One-shot ficlet, humourous. Not meant to be serious. Buffy feels Spike is slipping away. She suspects the Sirens, but it's really someone else... Done as request for roomate. Set in Season 6, R&R =]